So I Met This Guy.....

[MotherWolff]

For a while I thought I was incapable of falling in love. Until I met my first true bf on POF.com. Today was the first time we actually met face to face. We even did a couple of quick kisses! I am so excited that I have to tell someone. I can't tell my family because they would actually think its weird for a heartless person such as myself to be romantically involved with someone. My dad knows a little bit about my bf. What he doesn't know is that my bf came all the way from where he lives to the hospital to come see me! He is so caring. I am honestly in love with him. We feel the same way about one another. My dad wants us to go out and eat (including my dad). But I also did not tell my dad that I am in love with him and that I even consuder him to be my man. My dad thinks we don't know eachother well enough to say those things. But I feel like I've known my bf all of my life. So let's say this predate with my dad and bf go well. What exactly should I do from that point on? And what should I do if it goes bad, because my father may not approve of him? I don't want my bf out of my life. I have a good reason to live now. Please, enlighten me with your best advice, my fellow Social Phobians.

I'm also afraid that once my bf learns my mannerisms, he'll think I'm boring, dull, or even weird. But he is a really understanding guy.

 

[MikeyC]

I can't tell my family because they would actually think its weird for a heartless person such as myself to be romantically involved with someone.

Why do you think you're heartless? You told your dad a little bit about it, so that's got to be a good thing, isn't it? That's one family member you've told.

I am honestly in love with him. We feel the same way about one another. My dad wants us to go out and eat (including my dad). But I also did not tell my dad that I am in love with him and that I even consuder him to be my man. My dad thinks we don't know eachother well enough to say those things. But I feel like I've known my bf all of my life.

How long have you two known each other? It sounds like, from this part of your post, that you're in the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship: it's early and you're both really into each other and can't find fault with one another. Over time this does lessen once you find out more about each other - the good and the bad.

However, not to put a downer on the whole experience, I'm very glad you've met a man who's understanding and who loves you. I say you should go out to dinner with him and your dad. Your boyfriend doesn't sound like an idiot, so if he's impressive at dinner, your dad can see it with his own eyes and your boyfriend will pass the ultimate litmus test. In the meantime, hang out with him more, get to know him. He'll get to know you more, too. And some more kisses along the way can't hurt!

I hope it all works out for you, MotherWolff. It's amazing how we can meet such people, isn't it?

 

[Opaline]

Congrats, that's great!

 

[BlueDays]

I can't add much more to Mikey's excellent advice.
That is great to hear you have found such an understanding guy MotherWolff. As Mikey said, your father may see how great he is and end up liking him anyway, so don't worry about it too much yet.:thumbup: Good luck.

 

[jaim38]

This is only your first meeting together. If you tell your dad you're in love, he might be skeptical and become protective because you met this guy over the Internet and you only met him once in person. The older generation tend to value face to face communication over Internet ones, so give your dad some time to feel out your BF before you mention anything about love. I also think you should get to know your BF better in real life because real life could be different than online life. Wish you the best!

 

[jc972]

I'm happy for you! :bigsmile::bigsmile::bigsmile:

 

[MotherWolff]

Thank you all for the congrats, best wishes, and good lucks. You all have given me some awesome advice.

To answer your questionn, MikeyC, I only knew my bf for nearly 4 weeks. Yeah, I do feel like we don't see much fault in one another. I do fear that day will come when we will actually begin to argue. But I know that is normal. I feel heartless because I never felt the way I do about any person until my bf came into the picture. Your right, I did tell my dad a small bit about him, as well as one of my sisters and a brother. But they don't know how I truly feel about my bf. So it kind of feels like I haven't told anyone about him.

You guys/gals have been so helpful to me! Thank you so much!

 

[drakir]

wish i could give you advices.. but... im really horrible at things like.. love. never experienced it either.. and im not really a very colorful or a happy person, so....

..... no, i dont know what to say... im atleast greatful that one of us can be happy

 

[MotherWolff]

^^^^^^I'm sorry to hear that, drakir. I know this sounds corny but, never say never. I believe that everyone deserves to experience love.

 

[OceanMist]

I'm glad you're happy with this guy.

I have yet to meet a woman that actually likes me AND that I'm attracted to.

Those dating sites just don't really work out for guys like me. I keep doing them because I'm so lonely and want women to talk to and have sex with sometimes. I've definitely slowed down with the meeting in person thing because women that I wasn't in love with started loving me and I wasn't attracted to them.

 

[MikeyC]

To answer your questionn, MikeyC, I only knew my bf for nearly 4 weeks. Yeah, I do feel like we don't see much fault in one another. I do fear that day will come when we will actually begin to argue. But I know that is normal. I feel heartless because I never felt the way I do about any person until my bf came into the picture. Your right, I did tell my dad a small bit about him, as well as one of my sisters and a brother. But they don't know how I truly feel about my bf. So it kind of feels like I haven't told anyone about him.

You feel heartless because your boyfriend has discovered that you have one. He's the only person to make you feel this way, so you probably feel that the way you are with other people isn't the same, and therefore you feel heartless because of it. It's not the case.

Yeah, you will have arguments and the relationship will cool off. But that's later. Right now you're having fun getting to know each other and getting some intimacy happening so I say milk that for all it's worth!

 

[Niiña]

I think like them, you've got now very useful advices about the topic. I wish you the best with your bf and remember is not all your fault if something doen't work it as you thought you are wonderful and you will be always, for what i read quickly in your signature I think you are very young girl you have a lot experiences to live. Also I have to say I like to read this experiences they are really nice love stories and you shouldnt feel ashamed to show your feelings you are not being ridiculous, to have feelings talks good about you. But I trust in that everything will be super cool.

 

[mismeek]

Congrats! But be careful. and take it SLOW.. since you guys are in love, theres no need rush.

 

[Niiña]

I'm glad you're happy with this guy.

I have yet to meet a woman that actually likes me AND that I'm attracted to.

Those dating sites just don't really work out for guys like me. I keep doing them because I'm so lonely and want women to talk to and have sex with sometimes. I've definitely slowed down with the meeting in person thing because women that I wasn't in love with started loving me and I wasn't attracted to them.

Something similar happens to me with guys that I like never are attractted to me. I'm affraid I will be forever alone till the end of time or I'll be the crazy old maid of the cats

 

[A86]

MotherWolff happy!
Make A86 happy!

 

[daisydaydreamz]

A word of warning MotherWolff....

I don't wish to rain on your parade but what your experiencing is not true love. It is attraction/lust/idealization... call it what you will, but true love is something that happens further down the line, once the initial ''honeymoon period'' is over.

PLEASE... take things slow, keep a level head and be objective.
I speak from personal experience. I have walked in your shoes, fallen in love hard and fast. I was so ''high'' on being in love with someone I believed was ''the one'', that I did not realize it wasn't real love (on his part) until it was too late. I have wasted nearly 10 years of my life with this man.

I hope I am wrong about your boyfriend, he may well be right for you, in which case I wish you all the best. I am just saying ....be careful, and SLOW DOWN.

Daisy x

 

[OceanMist]

Something similar happens to me with guys that I like never are attractted to me. I'm affraid I will be forever alone till the end of time or I'll be the crazy old maid of the cats

I'm not afraid of being alone, I'm just sick of never having friends or a g/f. I have practically nobody in my life.

It's frustrating because i don't really know how I can go about this. I've gotten to the point of going to a bar by myself but that wasn't a great experience.

 

[MotherWolff]

Right now you're having fun getting to know each other and getting some intimacy happening so I say milk that for all it's worth!

Amen to that!:thumbup:

A word of warning MotherWolff....

I don't wish to rain on your parade but what your experiencing is not true love. It is attraction/lust/idealization... call it what you will, but true love is something that happens further down the line, once the initial ''honeymoon period'' is over.

PLEASE... take things slow, keep a level head and be objective.
I speak from personal experience. I have walked in your shoes, fallen in love hard and fast. I was so ''high'' on being in love with someone I believed was ''the one'', that I did not realize it wasn't real love (on his part) until it was too late. I have wasted nearly 10 years of my life with this man.

I hope I am wrong about your boyfriend, he may well be right for you, in which case I wish you all the best. I am just saying ....be careful, and SLOW DOWN.

Daisy x

I hope you are wrong Daisy. I do agree with you about taking things slow. But I am not lusting for his body or just wanting to have sex with him. He is nothing like the men I have met online in the past where all they talked about was sex, sex, sex. He actually cares about me. I don't believe that love must begin at a certain time in a relationship. It can happen in months or even weeks. I feel like I've known him all my life. I'm sorry about what happened to you with the man you spent 10 years with. All I can do is try. You never know until you try right? Thanks for your advice anyways. I thank all of you for the advice.

 

[bcsr]

Amen to that!:thumbup:



I hope you are wrong Daisy. I do agree with you about taking things slow. But I am not lusting for his body or just wanting to have sex with him. He is nothing like the men I have met online in the past where all they talked about was sex, sex, sex. He actually cares about me. I don't believe that love must begin at a certain time in a relationship. It can happen in months or even weeks. I feel like I've known him all my life. I'm sorry about what happened to you with the man you spent 10 years with. All I can do is try. You never know until you try right? Thanks for your advice anyways. I thank all of you for the advice.

Falling in love is easy, that's why it's called "Falling" It's really not about finding someone to love as much as it is loving the someone you found. Just recognize that the "honeymoon phase" will definitely end eventually, and don't like that discourage you. It's completely normal.