So I guess I'm a b****

[coyote]

My last relationship was like that. He was physically and emtionally abusive. Plenty of men are misogynist and in relationships. Read just this example, educate. And being careful and aware is not crazy. That is an unkind thing to say.

It's understandable that you're leery based on your past.

All we're saying is that maybe you're rushing to judgement with your boyfriend if all you're basing it on is him watching this one TV show.

Black and white thinking is nobody's friend.

 

[Lost Girl]

And being careful and aware is not crazy.

Careful and aware? I don't see any of that happening. I see you going off the deep end and making huge judgment calls on your guy and every other because he likes a TV show. If there is more to it here that you're not letting on other than this 'UFO' show, then okay, but if your guy liking this show really is the issue here then I'm sorry, I'm on his side, and katie's and anyone else's that thinks you're acting bat**** crazy. I think you have some deep issues here that need to be worked on before you're ready for a relationship, if you have issues with this guy liking this show then you're going to find issues with ANY guy. I think you need to grow up, honestly.

 

[fudgy]

I'd give anything to get a job and get away from him. I also have learned that all men lie and nice guys who appear to be nice aren't.

your obviously upset right now , but once you have calmed down you will see what an unfair statement that is !! Not all men lie just as not all us women lie and you know fine well if a bloke had come on and said that there would be uproar.


getting his dvd collection out doesn't mean he doesn't believe in the other stuff !! people are allowed to have different tastes.


As for a bad past , I have every sympathy and if it wasn't private to me I would give you a list of 15 years worth of more abuse from men than I thought possible. You have to move on from abuse , not all men think its ok to mentally, physically and spiritually abuse us ladies you know . The fact that you live with him for a year now should be evidence of that and you need to somehow recall the past year and ask yourself how many times he has abused you , spat at you , hit you , ridiculed you , cheated on you , disrespected you ..... if the answer is ...he never did any of those things , then you need to take a long hard look at the man your about to ruin your relationship with and make sure your ready to let him walk out of your life.

Because of his age I am guessing your my age group (43) and its a crying shame to see a woman of our age group damming all men because of bad experiences.

That said ...I DO ...know where you are coming from in terms of remembering past abuse , and yes it does affect our lives and yes it does make us wary and yes it does change us , because abuse does change you .......

but

you have to move on from it and realise THAT man isnt THIS man.


your fella must be feeling pretty low right now , if he loves you and wants you then he must be devastated and confused that a programme he likes makes you like this toward him, he must be feeling lonely and upset and very hurt right now.

Go give him a hug and talk to him.

Remember there are lots of young men and older men on here who haven't had the chance of a relationship ever and have so much love to give , please don't say ALL men lie and all nice men are not nice men ..it simply is not true.





hope your ok op

 

[fudgy]

serafina


you had a bit of a roll on there huh

 

[Ignace]

If anyone is bored or come across this rant, thank you for looking.

Does anyone know of the show UFO from the 1970's?

Imagine dating a man seriously for a year and whom you live with who claims to be this feminist. Who claims to love you for who you are and NOT because you look good. Who tells you he is a nice guy and respects women and people and worships the mind of Dahli Lama and Buddha.

Then imagine he pulls out his DVD collection of this show and you know he also has pictures of this woman character in his computer and he has watched it since age 10 and he is now 48.

It is the most degrading, misogynist, and unintelligent show I have ever seen. I tell him that and I'm called neurotic and much worse which I won't repeat.

I'd give anything to get a job and get away from him. I also have learned that all men lie and nice guys who appear to be nice aren't.

You don't have to generalize, it's not because some dumb **** follows you in everything you do just for looking real nice, that every guy does that.

 

[Richey]

its important to remember that this is cartoon character and individuals, even ones in relationships are allowed to have their fantasies and or attractions, in this case its a character from the television..so really its no different to a female liking johnny depp or a superman or something like that ...its totally acceptable behaviour even if its a little weird ..

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I also have learned that all men lie and nice guys who appear to be nice aren't.

How can you know something about what all men are like from one man?

Just imagine how you felt when you were betrayed. It feels like that. Like you feel so safe and loved and you know a man and then you realize it was an illusion and you are just in love with the IDEA of love.

Hang on. You've lived with him for a year, and in real life he's been sweet and kind and loving to you, but you decide he hates women because you discover he's into some cheesy fiction from the 70s that has sexist stuff in it? Is all the fiction he's into sexist? Did he say that the way women are portrayed and treated is what makes the show appealing to him? Shouldn't how he behaves in real life, especially for a period that long, be a much better indicator of who he is anyway?

 

[BlackPuma]

I also have learned that all men lie and nice guys who appear to be nice aren't.

Oh, I see. I wasn't aware that my gender by definition made me a bad guy. You can't say you don't like the person you're with anymore for watching something sexist, and then continue on saying something equally sexist.

Perhaps it was an error in your phrasing, but not 'all' guys are the same. Much like that not all women are the same. That's what this little thing ''individuality'' is all about.

 

[Remus]

thread closed

mods looking into it.