I wish finding a match were as simple as finding a shy girl I was attracted to, but it's not. The problem here is I am not only shy and socially anxious, but I am doing poorly in life as well. I have a minimum wage job, no college education or prospects, and no relationship experience or social status. I come in contact with very few people, only co workers and then customers (who can see me from a distance across the store), and other drivers on the road (one of the worst places for me). My chances of finding a good match are slim to none. I look at it this way. Half of my 40 coworkers may be females (20 matches), a third of those are within my age bracket (~7 matches), maybe only a fourth of those are single (~2), already down to 2 girls without factoring in anything to do with looks, personality and of course similarities. I'm a ****ing weirdo for typing all this stupid shit. What a waste.
Wow. Self-deprecate much??
PJS... if you keep looking for reasons to back up your excuses why you'll never succeed, you will find them everywhere. I suggest looking for reasons to back up the fact that achieving your goals may, in fact, be possible.
And this "I'm a ****ing weirdo for typing all this stupid shit. What a waste." is a problem. You really need to knock that shit off. If you have a question or comment you can say what's on your mind without putting yourself down. I know I'm being hard on you, but I can't stand when people talk that way about themselves. Start at least pretending that your self-esteem is through the roof and good things will start to happen. Fake it till you make it, brotha.
And take a look at Licorice's comment below on self-loathing.
Yeah I have the hard way and now granted it's better than it was, but it took me a while to really set apart what was truly me and what wasn't. Online chatting's really helped make this not happen because for some reason I feel 1000x more comfortable to be honest and just be myself, even though I have a harder time do the same in person.
Yeah, online chatting also helped me become more comfortable conversing, but the confidence you pick up doesn't seem to translate well to the real world. At some point, you're gonna have to bite the bullet and force yourself to push through awkward face-to-face convo after awkward f-t-f convo until your brain learns how to communicate in an authentic manner. It's nothing more than a skill that you can learn just like anything else.
The social phobic gentleman that I dated not too long ago did nothing but put himself down from the start and Im sorry but I still wanted to proceed getting to know him,however theres only so much one can take with all the self loathing and to try to bring someone up all the time is exhausting...And there goes the corny cliche saying,you have to love yourself first and foremost,but its true...One can only hide for so long till the real person comes out,so why be a phony from the start and waste everyones time,well thats just my opinion...PJS its not a waste,do you think there are no women out there in the same boat as you,well i bet there is!
Well, I think it's great that you tried hard to be accepting of his attitude and still try to get to know him. I think that most girls wouldn't be so tolerant. Honestly, you seem like a really cool and very sweet person and it's nice to know there are women out there who think like you do. I'm sure a lot of guys on this board are really appreciative of your comments.
And I really do mean this so please don't think I'm trying to get into your virtual panties... I already have too many Gilfs in my harem and no available slots in my schedule with which to accommodate you.
What about changing seats in a lecture hall to the point of sitting in your row, literally three seats away from you?
I don't think that counts unless she came over and sat in your lap.
People seem to want immediate gratification these days,if they only knew that the best things in life dont come easy nor fast....
So not true. I'm fast AND easy and my grandma told me I'm God's gift to women.
