SA among SA

[megalon]

I've just realized that it feels like I have SA even among a group of people with SA. On here, as in the real world, you have the sort of clique of people who seem to all be friends and know each other and then there's everyone else. I suppose it's just human nature. I'm not complaining, just making an observation. I'm sure there are others here who feel the same, they probably won't reply because they're mostly lurkers like me.

 

[Krista]

Most certainly, I'm sure there are people who feel that way. I wish I knew most of all of you, I'm very vocal with everyone on here..but I can't say hi to you if you're lurking and hiding from me

Sounds creepy..after reading it. Ah, well. I'm creepy.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

i feel the same mr megalon, really its hilarious to me. just like i dont make friends in life, i dont make them on here either. so sa among sa is right, or avoidant, whatever it is. i get the impression lots of people on here are far more social than me. they mention facebook and myspace and all those social networking sites. id never be on those. a social phobic with a facebook page, what is that?! plus there are groups that know each other that form on here, like you say. so i think i know what you mean.

 

[philly2bits]

I think it's sort of normal for people to fall into "cliques." People will naturally gravitate towards others they feel are on the same wavelength. It seems to me the little groups are easy to join when they are still forming. After that you need to sort of wiggle into the group. Of course with people here they may feel afraid to try to wiggle in.

 

[megalon]

i feel the same mr megalon, really its hilarious to me. just like i dont make friends in life, i dont make them on here either. so sa among sa is right, or avoidant, whatever it is. i get the impression lots of people on here are far more social than me. they mention facebook and myspace and all those social networking sites. id never be on those. a social phobic with a facebook page, what is that?! plus there are groups that know each other that form on here, like you say. so i think i know what you mean.

Actually I do have a facebook. I only have 15 friends on there, all people from work or guys on my paintball team that I don't really consider friends anyway. Their status updates help me find subjects to talk about when I want to challenge myself to have small talk with a coworker.

 

[Krista]

i feel the same mr megalon, really its hilarious to me. just like i dont make friends in life, i dont make them on here either. so sa among sa is right, or avoidant, whatever it is. i get the impression lots of people on here are far more social than me. they mention facebook and myspace and all those social networking sites. id never be on those. a social phobic with a facebook page, what is that?! plus there are groups that know each other that form on here, like you say. so i think i know what you mean.

I always find what you say enlightening, I think it's best to remember that no one is singling others out or not including anyone on purpose of course. No, not everyone is going to be as reclusive as another person, everyone has varying degrees of SA. I would think it's a step in the right direction if they can be a degree of comfortable on a social networking site, not something to make sound like a judgment call.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

Actually I do have a facebook. I only have 15 friends on there, all people from work or guys on my paintball team that I don't really consider friends anyway. Their status updates help me find subjects to talk about when I want to challenge myself to have small talk with a coworker.

now i'm sa among sa among sa

 

[johnny 85]

now i'm sa

FIXED

(mg to short, bla bla bla .)

 

[Day_Tripper]

That's weird. I was actually planning on making a thread about how there are different levels of sociability even here. I guess some people are more comfortable being themselves and making friends on the internet, while others are always struggling to fit in.

 

[scarletlee]

Megalon I feel the same way, even though everyone on here seem really nice i still find it really hard to post, just like in any large group of people it’s hard to have the courage to speak up.
I get nervous every time I post :: I think most people on here understand though, we all found this place because we have experienced some sort of social anxiety.

 

[Krista]

That's weird. I was actually planning on making a thread about how there are different levels of sociability even here. I guess some people are more comfortable being themselves and making friends on the internet, while others are always struggling to fit in.

Do you feel that it's other people who make it hard for those who are constantly struggling to fit in, even over the internet or do you think that it's themselves holding back?

 

[Hellhound]

I feel the same. I also feel I'm not really important here, I'm just a person posting and nothing more. Not helpful, not meaningful, a burden. I usually feel guilty when I post because I think I'm whining about unimportant s**t when others have it worse, which makes me selfish. I feel like that IRL too, for almost everything I do. Bleh...

And, as I write this, I think I'm a selfish idiot. I truly apologise for whining so much...

 

[Luke1993]

I was going to make a topic about this, but I didn't think any of you would understand what I was talking about lol. But yeah I do feel like I am not social enough even here, which is why I've been trying to post a lot so I can improve and potentially join the ranks of the popular people here.

 

[megalon]

I feel the same. I also feel I'm not really important here, I'm just a person posting and nothing more. Not helpful, not meaningful, a burden. I usually feel guilty when I post because I think I'm whining about unimportant s**t when others have it worse, which makes me selfish. I feel like that IRL too, for almost everything I do. Bleh...

And, as I write this, I think I'm a selfish idiot. I truly apologise for whining so much...

I know exactly what you mean. I'm reluctant to post because I don't want to waste people's time that they spend reading it.

 

[userremoved]

I still feel uncomfortable about everything I post here but I find it a little easier each time I do it. I also end up deleting posts sometimes because I don't feel they really helped or that no one really cared to read it. I think it's a confidence thing more than a clique thing. At least for me it is.

 

[illuminationSP]

For a long time now, I've felt as if the only way to even be noticed on this site is to participate in some of the mindless, off topic banter that has nothing to do with the purpose of this site. This site actually reminds me of high school (which I barely escaped), and I wholeheartedly agree with you, Megalon. More and more, it's beginning to be quite aggravating. I posted some really inspirational documentaries that changed my life, hoping they could do the same for someone else in my position, considering that we are all suffering - absolutely ZERO responses. Meanwhile, other topics about shoe laces (I don't know) are readily added on the 'hot topics' list. It's not necessarily jealously on my part, but bewilderment and confusion. As someone said, I suppose we all deal in our own ways, but seriously. I find myself participating in some of the zaniness, while I'm actually incredibly reserved and quiet by nature - I really shouldn't do that anymore (change), as I once did that in high school just to fit in.

I don't mean for this to offend anyone, but this is how I feel, and this thread caused it to surface.

 

[Day_Tripper]

Do you feel that it's other people who make it hard for those who are constantly struggling to fit in, even over the internet or do you think that it's themselves holding back?

It can be a combo. When you have a bunch of people who clearly are already friends, who have a bunch of inside jokes, you feel like an outsider. But it's inevitable - that's just how people are. I'm not saying I feel like an outsider here, just I can see how it's frustrating for others who don't have dozens of friends posting on their profile, joking around.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

this is a really great thread. i think its safe to say that nobody joins a mental health support site because they want fun and games. everybody is here for a serious reason, even if they have a silly personality. its easy to forget that we all have the same problem even if it doesnt look like it.

 

[philly2bits]

this is a really great thread. i think its safe to say that nobody joins a mental health support site because they want fun and games. everybody is here for a serious reason, even if they have a silly personality. its easy to forget that we all have the same problem even if it doesnt look like it.

People may even be sillier here then they would anywhere else. They may feel comfortable here to be themselves, or more themselves anyway.

 

[Krista]

It can be a combo. When you have a bunch of people who clearly are already friends, who have a bunch of inside jokes, you feel like an outsider. But it's inevitable - that's just how people are. I'm not saying I feel like an outsider here, just I can see how it's frustrating for others who don't have dozens of friends posting on their profile, joking around.

Completely understood. I actually try to put myself in the middle of helping people so I won't feel so completely left out which I do most times on here. I only talk because I like helping others like they have me, most of the time I wish I had the interaction and charisma that others seem to have with people on here, I'm no Christina(Brokenx) or Amiee, although I adore her.