Right NOW, I feel like dying.

[123456switch]

I stopped getting girls THEN got depressed. So much for that theory. I wasn't getting them anyway. Nice try though.

I was really confident, and happy and nice. Then they said things like "you must be gay" or "you are way too short" or "why are you so happy, are you stoned?"...and eventually they stopped noticing me at all, but the ones that did said "you are way too nice" and then went on to guys that watch UFC all day, waste their money, and physically abuse them. So then I got depressed in that regard, because what kind of woman wants a man to NOT be nice? This is just representative of the terrible values women hold where niceness equates to weakness, and height equates to strength and status. This makes me want to die, just talking about it

Whenever I see my parents, I fee like dying even more. If I had to live in a homeless shelter or go on assistance I would want to die even more. I have no reason to pick myself up, since I can't do the one thing I want to do, which is die. I am just going to let it happen slowly since euthanasia is not legal. Not yet anyway.

For those saying "you're depressed" I'll direct your attention to the fact that I'm posting in the depression forum, so I already knew that, but thanks.

 

[123456switch]

All I can tell you is that my thinking is usually the same as yours, but I keep forcing myself to go out and do a few things. I keep forcing myself to get out and find out for sure if I really don't like things. In the process, I ended up finding a few things that I do like.

Otherwise, I want to die and get this over with most days myself. Living on the fringe of life.

What is something you've always wanted to do, but always found an excuse not to? Do it! It might be much better than you think it will be?

The reason I even bother with any of this is because I know my family needs me. They do. I am living in this world for them, not for me. I try my best to keep my interest up in something, even if it's just my cat.

The opposite also worked. I liked canoeing all my life and thought kayaks looked so uncomfortable and difficult. I wasn't even interested at all. I tried it in spite of myself and found something that brings me peace, a few moments of sanity, and a heavy dose of adventure for one small investment. I thought I would never try it, but it gave me one thing in the world to look forward to. Most often, I go out alone in the boat. It's an isolating activity that is actually good for me.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, but I know the part somewhere deep inside me that wants to live comes here to chat this out. If you are anything like me, we wouldn't be here talking about it if every ounce of us really wanted to die. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'm keeping my spark lit up for the sake of my family.

My family makes me want to die. I'm on this forum to vent, since they will not allow me to. I want to learn how to die in my sleep. If you all are sick of my posts then tell me, and I will disappear from this site forever.

I am depressed, yes, and I don't know how to turn it off, so I give up. I just want to end it all. Everyday is more painful than the next. I would love to just go to sleep forever. And what is wrong with me wanting that anyway? I didn't ask to be F**king born. It wasn't my choice to be here.

Just because my selfish parents succumbed to their sexual desires and my dad accidentally finished inside my mom, without protection, and just because she kept the baby despite being an idiot who knew nothing, and didn't love the man she had the kid with, does not mean I should WANT to live. I'm accidentally created but I'd like my death to be purposeful

 

[123456switch]

I know I sound so awful in these posts...but I don't know what to do?

My life is horrible.

I don't want the extra stress or financial burden of needing a drug subscription to be filled every month, but I do wonder about medication sometimes. I don't want to take medication that would make me happy, yet unable to drink beer or get an erection.

What should I do people? There is no natural cure that I can think of, except death. So what medications are out there that won't hinder my ability to drink, and have sex?

Which medication CURES depression?
I wouldn't want to continue to take it forever.

 

[Alienated]

Man there is no miracle cure, but there is a way of seeing things differently. I know exactly what you are going though, and I have even survived worse.... And trust me when I say it can get worse....

If you want to just talk to someone, I got all the time in the world. I do understand where you are coming from, and how these comments people make seem to make it worse. So lets just talk about it, I'll tell you want I went through. IT really sucked ....LOL... but I'm alive...

How about we just take one thing at a time, and see if we can find some solutions...OK ?

I sent you a PM

 

[Flanscho]

We all live only once. As long as you live, there is the chance that things become better. When you die, you cease to exist.

 

[k8steroonis]

I've felt like dying too recently so I understand. What keeps me going is that I know there's a better way to think and view the world that I'm not doing. And I want to think/do things that way because I believe there's a positivity and negativity within everyone and what others see and what we experience is the one we access the most. I've just been awfully negative recently but I think if you work really hard at it, you'll find those women and jobs aren't really what you want, it's a version of yourself you can like and you feel is worth life that you want. Also, the women, you prolly want that too haha. BUT I know it's annoying but unless you're good with yourself, you won't be good with anyone else. No one can fill a void they can only add to what you build on. "We accept the love we think we deserve" please realize you deserve love 123456switch because as a human being, you do. We all do. Sorry I've been on some hippie shit lately but it's helping my depression lift a lil, so who knows maybe a different perspective, albeit a lame one, would be a good change of pace.

 

[BlackPuma]

I know I sound so awful in these posts...but I don't know what to do?

My life is horrible.

I don't want the extra stress or financial burden of needing a drug subscription to be filled every month, but I do wonder about medication sometimes. I don't want to take medication that would make me happy, yet unable to drink beer or get an erection.

What should I do people? There is no natural cure that I can think of, except death. So what medications are out there that won't hinder my ability to drink, and have sex?

Which medication CURES depression?
I wouldn't want to continue to take it forever.

I don't think any medication cures depression, depression is a state of mind after all. A wound/infection you can heal or cure, a state of mind has to be subdued by the medication (in extreme cases), and changed progressively over time.

But while it's no cure, medication might render the depression less severe long enough for you to get back on your feet and set your life back in motion. Motivation is hard to come by when the very motivation to be motivated is scarce. And nobody could blame you for it, you're in a undeniable bad place both financially and emotionally, and I can't even begin to understand what that must be like. But it's not quite the end of the road. It's a hell of a set back, but not the end. The medication might give you that edge you need get that motivation back.

Suicide is such a final thing. It can't be redeemed or reversed. While life is endlessly bendable and flexible.

 

[123456switch]

Hmm so I still have no real reason to live. What all these posts say is that I'm just depressed, that's why I think this way, and there's no cure. Well back to square one then.

My favourite thing about suicide will be the finality of it. I am so glad it can't be reversed since there would be NO reason to reverse it. I just have to find a method that will work without fail. People have survived hangings and jumping off buildings and even shootings in the head. I guess I will be alive for awhile longer until I find that perfect method.

In the meantime I will just go about my daily activities as any zombie, or living dead would. I'm dead inside but my body lives on. The only difference between a real zombie and myself is that I don't eat brains.

Thanks for all your help. I have my answer now I just need my method and the problem will be solved.

 

[PrincessKitty]

Awhh sweety. You can get through this. DON'T GIVE UP!!
Keep working hard. I bet you could do something that requires a job... I mean you got that job for reason didn't you?
Well you can get it back.. by getting aother job.
Like working in a shop. Volenteer? Cleaning toiltes like a janitor if you have to... do something and get back up.
Go to a hostal and they will help you.
But please don't kill yourself. There are so many options in this world.
Hope this helps honey *hugs*

 

[gazelle]

I've been where you are before feeling suicidal and having no reason to live anymore. You seem sexually frustrated but trust me there are many greater sources of pleasure in life than women and romantic relationships ... I was also in a similar situation.
It was the worst time of my life, but let me tell you something despite being sure that there was no way that my despair would end it eventually did. I sought solace in spirituality.
Sometimes depression can also result from physical conditions that we aren't aware of (anemia, vitamin deficiencies, hidden autoimmune diseases, food intolerance, thyroid disorders and much much more...).
Believe me there is a cure for depression other than having to take pills.
You need to start an investigation on yourself (with the help of a doctor). I also did that and so far it's been the most helpful thing that's helped me keep my depression under control.
I don't think you've tried all of the options possible to fight with your depression, a spiritual reason for you to live would be to try every option out there to fight with your depression and live to help others overcome after.
Life is meant to be full of challenges in order that we learn and evolve from them.
I can understand that you're stuck in a difficult situation atm, but you're much stronger that what you think. Hang in there.

 

[Alienated]

Hmm so I still have no real reason to live. What all these posts say is that I'm just depressed, that's why I think this way, and there's no cure. Well back to square one then.

My favourite thing about suicide will be the finality of it. I am so glad it can't be reversed since there would be NO reason to reverse it. I just have to find a method that will work without fail. People have survived hangings and jumping off buildings and even shootings in the head. I guess I will be alive for awhile longer until I find that perfect method.

In the meantime I will just go about my daily activities as any zombie, or living dead would. I'm dead inside but my body lives on. The only difference between a real zombie and myself is that I don't eat brains.

Thanks for all your help. I have my answer now I just need my method and the problem will be solved.

Well I can give you a new way to go... But if you don't try to change anything....well then nothing will change... It's your choice

 

[Steelsoul]

Hmm so I still have no real reason to live. What all these posts say is that I'm just depressed, that's why I think this way, and there's no cure. Well back to square one then.

My favourite thing about suicide will be the finality of it. I am so glad it can't be reversed since there would be NO reason to reverse it. I just have to find a method that will work without fail. People have survived hangings and jumping off buildings and even shootings in the head. I guess I will be alive for awhile longer until I find that perfect method.

In the meantime I will just go about my daily activities as any zombie, or living dead would. I'm dead inside but my body lives on. The only difference between a real zombie and myself is that I don't eat brains.

Thanks for all your help. I have my answer now I just need my method and the problem will be solved.

It seems nothing we say will change your mind. It's your choice, after all. But hear me on this one: you have one life to live, and as long as you're alive, there are posibilities to change everything.