Post a random fact about yourself...

[coyote]

I'm at 9 days of sobriety, and normally I need alcohol to initially get out the house. I'm okay going out in public with someone to hold my hand...hahaha
But by myself I use the following strategies:
- dark glasses (I take them off when I talk to someone I know)
- earphones (my own music, my own world)
- belt bag across my chest, or jacket (wall)
- something in my hand, bottle of water etc (another wall)

- shaolin monk haircut (The front half wasn't completely bald, I used to have it short and have cut it recently. Baby steps towards tearing my walls down!)

*My first ever forum site register thingy, first ever posted thread. My apologies to the perfectionists if I have done it wrong, I hope to get better.

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

if posting had to be perfect, i would have been thrown out of here long ago

congratulations on your 9 days!

 

[Nathália]

I'm at 9 days of sobriety, and normally I need alcohol to initially get out the house. I'm okay going out in public with someone to hold my hand...hahaha
But by myself I use the following strategies:
- dark glasses (I take them off when I talk to someone I know)
- earphones (my own music, my own world)
- belt bag across my chest, or jacket (wall)
- something in my hand, bottle of water etc (another wall)

- shaolin monk haircut (The front half wasn't completely bald, I used to have it short and have cut it recently. Baby steps towards tearing my walls down!)

*My first ever forum site register thingy, first ever posted thread. My apologies to the perfectionists if I have done it wrong, I hope to get better.

HI, LoneWolfGemini. You don't have to worry about perfection. That is very good for you, excellent work on beating your addiction. Also, welcome

 

[GraybeardGhost]

I like walking through old graveyards. I like to look at the old stones and try to imagine what the person's life was like.

I like doing that, too. It's so peaceful, and helps to put things in perspective.

 

[MikeyC]

- earphones (my own music, my own world)

Yep, I always have my iPod in when I'm going for a walk. I like music and it helps not to listen to outside nuances like cars, inaudible chatter, and so on.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[KiaKaha]

Something I have never shared with anyone.

In my wardrobe I have a locked tin with everything I need to take my own life. A method and all the equipment needed to get the job done. Along with documents and other important items.

You know - a quick kit - just in case I can't take it anymore.

I am pretty efficient like that.

 

[MikeyC]

Something I have never shared with anyone.

In my wardrobe I have a locked tin with everything I need to take my own life. A method and all the equipment needed to get the job done. Along with documents and other important items.

You know - a quick kit - just in case I can't take it anymore.

I am pretty efficient like that.

Not enough sad faces....

 

[Nathália]

Something I have never shared with anyone.

In my wardrobe I have a locked tin with everything I need to take my own life. A method and all the equipment needed to get the job done. Along with documents and other important items.

You know - a quick kit - just in case I can't take it anymore.

I am pretty efficient like that.

So sorry you've felt that way. You're a very beautiful man Kia, very.

 

[Starry]

Something I have never shared with anyone.

In my wardrobe I have a locked tin with everything I need to take my own life. A method and all the equipment needed to get the job done. Along with documents and other important items.

You know - a quick kit - just in case I can't take it anymore.

I am pretty efficient like that.

That's awful! I hope with all my heart and soul that you never feel the need to use it!

 

[KiaKaha]

for sure. sorry for the depressing post.
I am not having a very good night. I feel sad. Despair type sad. I am going to go to sleep.

 

[MikeyC]

for sure. sorry for the depressing post.
I am not having a very good night. I feel sad. Despair type sad. I am going to go to sleep.

:: Feel better, mate.

 

[Invisibleman]

Something I have never shared with anyone.

In my wardrobe I have a locked tin with everything I need to take my own life. A method and all the equipment needed to get the job done. Along with documents and other important items.

You know - a quick kit - just in case I can't take it anymore.

I am pretty efficient like that.

oh sh*t. Thats like that episode of family guy where Brian admits the same thing. Damn dude feel better.

 

[MikeyC]

oh sh*t. Thats like that episode of family guy where Brian admits the same thing. Damn dude feel better.

Is that the episode where it's Brian and Stewie locked in the bank vault? Despite some of the heavy dialogue, that is one of the best Family Guy episodes ever made. Simply because it's not totally stupid.

 

[GhoulsNightOut]

Something I have never shared with anyone.

In my wardrobe I have a locked tin with everything I need to take my own life. A method and all the equipment needed to get the job done. Along with documents and other important items.

You know - a quick kit - just in case I can't take it anymore.

I am pretty efficient like that.

That's one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever heard, Kia! :: You can have the life you want. It may be difficult to work for but it's not impossible. I hope you never resort to that.

 

[BlackPuma]

Something I have never shared with anyone.

In my wardrobe I have a locked tin with everything I need to take my own life. A method and all the equipment needed to get the job done. Along with documents and other important items.

You know - a quick kit - just in case I can't take it anymore.

I am pretty efficient like that.

Do remember that kits like that can be anchors towards the deed. Almost like a magnet or beacon. If you really feel like you need to have it, then I'll have to respect that, even though that's hard to say.

However, I do feel the need to suggest that you move it somewhere else.
Move it somewhere where it's very impracticable to get to, so that you don't accidentally do something you'd otherwise regret. Like, bury the locked tin somewhere a few miles out. Next to a tree or a road. Minus the important documents of course (you might need those), just the things that would be fatal.

You know, add a few variables to the final decision. The reason for this is that a kit like not only can trigger suicide, when depressed you're not always seeing all the detail to a situation. Adding variables and time gives you a better chance of changing your mind, were you to regret the decision deep down.

Of course, I'd rather suggest that you destroy the kit entirely. But considering you went through the trouble of putting it together, that's not likely to happen. So, if you really have to have it, decrease the likely hood of using it - and give yourself the some time to consider all sides of the situation were you ever tempted to use it.

 

[BlueDays]

Do remember that kits like that can be anchors towards the deed. Almost like a magnet or beacon. If you really feel like you need to have it, then I'll have to respect that, even though that's hard to say.

However, I do feel the need to suggest that you move it somewhere else.
Move it somewhere where it's very impracticable to get to, so that you don't accidentally do something you'd otherwise regret. Like, bury the locked tin somewhere a few miles out. Next to a tree or a road. Minus the important documents of course (you might need those), just the things that would be fatal.

You know, add a few variables to the final decision. The reason for this is that a kit like not only can trigger suicide, when depressed you're not always seeing all the detail to a situation. Adding variables and time gives you a better chance of changing your mind, were you to regret the decision deep down.

Of course, I'd rather suggest that you destroy the kit entirely. But considering you went through the trouble of putting it together, that's not likely to happen. So, if you really have to have it, decrease the likely hood of using it - and give yourself the some time to consider all sides of the situation were you ever tempted to use it.

^This is really great advice, I hope you read this soon Kiakaha, and you are able to do what puma suggested.
I know from experience that someone can be ready to do it, but just the difficulty of getting "stuff" ready can deter you long enough for that ultimate despair to fade a little and results in being able to take one step from the end that you would not have been able to do if you had the "stuff" ready for use immediately. Please do what puma suggested Kia.

I’m so afraid from judgment, rejection, humiliation and being disliked I tend to avoid posting my personal thoughts here on the site - even sharing this was hard.

I can really relate to this. Somedays I am ok, and somedays I can't find the confidence to reply to as many posts as I would like to etc.

 

[BlueDays]

I’m feeling a little bit better today, but most of the time I just start typing and end up not posting. I'll try to work out the confidence to change that.

I think it is just natural for people like us to worry about how our posts will be taken. I keep having to remind myself that there are like minded people in here that will be more understanding then in real life and that helps. Thats great that you are hopeful that you can make a difference working on your confidence.

 

[Amitush123]

I am so afraid of being rejected and even mocked by girls that I avoid speaking to them completely..and then spend the rest of the time wishing they would somehow know that I admire their beauty without telling them directly

 

[KiaKaha]

OK.

I did what Blackpuma suggested.
Reluctantly.

I actually told someone about this after I broke down crying - and about the idea blackpuma suggested. I fear I may have set off a series of events that I wish to avoid.
I have placed my 'kit' outside of the immediate area of where I live - but still within relative ease of reach. I have thoughts on why because part of me doesnt want to make it harder if the time ever comes.

I think it's best to leave it there. I feel a bit stupid for bringing this up - and selfish.

I just wish life wasn't so continually painful. I am not going to do well.
I can just tell.

 

[MikeyC]

OK.

I did what Blackpuma suggested.
Reluctantly.

I actually told someone about this after I broke down crying - and about the idea blackpuma suggested. I fear I may have set off a series of events that I wish to avoid.
I have placed my 'kit' outside of the immediate area of where I live - but still within relative ease of reach. I have thoughts on why because part of me doesnt want to make it harder if the time ever comes.

I think it's best to leave it there. I feel a bit stupid for bringing this up - and selfish.

I just wish life wasn't so continually painful. I am not going to do well.
I can just tell.

Why did you break down crying? :: Was it because you had to reveal you had this kit to someone?

 

[BlueDays]

OK.

I did what Blackpuma suggested.
Reluctantly.

I actually told someone about this after I broke down crying - and about the idea blackpuma suggested. I fear I may have set off a series of events that I wish to avoid.
I have placed my 'kit' outside of the immediate area of where I live - but still within relative ease of reach. I have thoughts on why because part of me doesnt want to make it harder if the time ever comes.

I think it's best to leave it there. I feel a bit stupid for bringing this up - and selfish.

I just wish life wasn't so continually painful. I am not going to do well.
I can just tell.

Very glad to read that you have placed it further away from your immediate access Kia. There is absolutely no reason to feel bad about "bringing this up". If you are feeling overwhelmed with life's pain atm, we are here to help (well, provide a listening ear). I hope the intensity of your sadness starts to lift soon.