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rubyred716

Member
i just think like, this is it? this is life? thats all? i think of space and the universe and just us floating in it .. i get dizzy, and i feel like i cant escape. i say to myself, why is THIS life? why cant something else be life?

When I was 15, I was laying in bed one night, and thought about what happens when I die? I lay there, and that's it? Forever and ever? All of a sudden I got dizzy and had to say My name is Michelle, I love my Mom, she is upstairs. I explained this feeling to people but they didn't get it. It was only for a few seconds but my heart started to race and I felt really hot. I got this feeling like 5 times. I couldn't think about it because it made me get dizzy. I've had anxiety my whole life. A month ago I started smoking weed but not a lot. I've smoked it a few times b4 in the passed and became paranoid but nothing like derealization/depersonazalition feelings. Well a month ago I got that feeling like I did when I was 15 but it was 10x worse. Then I smoked again a week ago and got the feeling, my head got numb and everything. My boyfriend didn't know what I was talking about. I kept saying this is life, that's it? That's all? It felt fake, like I was in a dream, and not even here. Like someone is watching me from outside of a bubble. I constantly question why are we here, and how a planet can come out of nothing? I feel like I can't escape it. I feel like I'm stuck and drowning. I always think, this is life, that's it? What makes THIS life? Why isn't life like something else? I went online and saw that this is what it's called, and I went to a psychotherapist a few days ago and she told me I had dissociation disroder along with this, anxiety, and depression. She put me on lexapro which I've been on like 3 years ago for like 6 months for anxiety. Does anyone feel like this? PLEASE WRITE BACK! it'll make me feel so much better
 
R3K

R3K

Well-known member
i've heard it refered to as "feelings of unreality" before. dissociation disorder might be accurate too, or they could be the same thing. i used to get this sensation a lot when i was young, and occasionally it hits me still. i think it has something to do with nerves or chemicals in the brain, and can be caused by SAD, drugs or other things. smoking weed might not be helping you in this regard since it disturbs the balance of chems in your body. when i was about 10 y/o i was at the dentist and they gave me laughing gas. i tripped out big time and felt like i was floating next to my body. had to cancel the procedure and i spent about an hour sitting in the playground mentally collecting myself:confused: while my mom sat around watching confusedly.

i think it's a form of halucination caused by various possible things. most important thing is to not overreact and wait for it to pass. try exercising regularly and eating healthy (easier said than done, i know :rolleyes:)
 
CosmicNeurotica

CosmicNeurotica

Banned
Good questions really.
Just know you can't really answer them. It is what it is.
I've done what you do too. I look in the mirror and say "This is me? Why am I me? What made this person known as myself into this body?" Then I wonder how sand can be made into mirrors so I can see myself.
You have to create a solace for yourself.
For me though, I think these thoughts are fun. They themselves are my solace. Because questioning yourself and reality only leads to new discoveries, be it something only you can know, or a creation that will be a part of evolutionary history.

Weed doesn't work for me, I just get extremely paranoid to the point I will sit in a corner until it wears off. I also get facets of "reality" that I don't like (conspiracies against me, everyone hiding something from me), and it makes my depression MUCH MUCH worse. Not to mention I black out if I smoke too much.

I think the way you're thinking is a good thing though.
Just be careful with the weed because for us thinkers by nature, weed is my worst enemy.

Oh, by the way, planets are created from suns :p (well, from stars)
 
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panicsurvivor

panicsurvivor

Well-known member
Ha ha. You are definately not alone. This happens to me all the time. Another one that really ****s with me is the concept of infinity. Like if god created the universe who created god, or our universe is just another molecule in a blade of grass, and that blade of grass is on a planet like this......ect....ect.
I have panic attacks about this too. So don't feel lonely.
The others are right though, I would stop the weed. If you must use drugs for fun I suggest downers they are much better for people like us(not that I recommend drug use).
 
Anti Matter

Anti Matter

1
Ha, I've thought about this many times, interesting query, I've looked at my hand basically for about 10 minutes thinking this is amazing, haha,quite sad I know. :p Then the other thought processes sink in, what am I? Who am I? Is there a meaning behind all of this? The Universe, life, evolution, is everything just a dream, what is reality? etc etc.

All I can say is, thinking about it is a great conversation starter, but it can get scary after thinking too deep, also try to lay off the weed a little bit, when I did it and thought about things like this, I always looked waaaay too deep and started to panic. Wasn't good. Anyway there are many unanswered questions which keep humanity an interesting subject to think about. Just remember we are here and we have purpose even if we don't know it.
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
i wonder if people who have anxiety are just more realistic about the idea of not existing anymore and people who don't address it don't have nearly as much anxiety. we have anxiety because we realize this is IT. this is our one chance right here right now to be excellent. and that is why we are such perfectionists.
 
CosmicNeurotica

CosmicNeurotica

Banned
No not for me.
Not existing doesn't really cross my mind. I don't remember anything before I was born so I won't know anything after I'm dead.
I don't care about being excellent, or perfect. I just want to be happy.

Speaking of before you were born though (I know, more mind benders)
If we are a product of our parents, doesn't that mean all possibilities of ourselves exist all at once?
 
Ignace

Ignace

Well-known member
"This is it, this is it, this is it ... I'll be performing the songs my fans wanna hear .."

It's strange indeed how everything became the way it is now. I'm wondering too how the piep we got here ? A planet and all these living things on it. Some aliens had to plant us here.
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
ToolShuggah said:
No not for me.
Not existing doesn't really cross my mind. I don't remember anything before I was born so I won't know anything after I'm dead.
I don't care about being excellent, or perfect. I just want to be happy.

Speaking of before you were born though (I know, more mind benders)
If we are a product of our parents, doesn't that mean all possibilities of ourselves exist all at once?
Click to expand...

when you go to a job interview you don't want to be excellent?
when you make a presentation you don't want to be excellent?
i don't buy it.
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
in advance, sorry to get OT. skip this, i am just reassessing self.

ToolShuggah said:
No, not really Dottie, and that may be a part of my problem of why I'm a recluse.
I despise conforming to social norms. I just want to be. Be whatever I am, without having to impress anyone else.

This topic made me remember the best Simpsons intro

YouTube - The simpsons intro-universe
Click to expand...

now i'm feeling out of touch with myself. at my interview today did i genuinely care to be excellent? or did i only care about seeming excellent? does my anxiety stem from trying to sell the facade? there is societal pressure for me, at age 30, to get a job, any job i possibly can in this economy. so to fulfill that expectation i put on the facade. i certainly do not give a **** to be excellent at pushing their multi-billion dollar company while suffering immense SA and getting paid peanuts. so the anxiety comes from trying to believably look like i care when i blatantly do NOT. it's like i am forced to be a liar, to sell something that is not true. and i am not a good liar.

so, i guess i'm not as much of a perfectionist as i thought. i don't know. i'm tired and am no longer thinking straight.
 
CosmicNeurotica

CosmicNeurotica

Banned
it's like i am forced to be a liar, to sell something that is not true. and i am not a good liar.

That's exactly the way I feel about it. And you're right. It is a facade.
But I think these things come more naturally to those who have been out in the social world and live there. They can pretend and lie with the snap of a finger and they're used to it. Being social is almost an art form. That's the way I look at it anyway.
But maybe I'm just an anomie.
I respect law, and only want good things for people. That's not the issue.
I guess you could say I just simply don't care. Through my experiences with society, I just grew a hatred and jealousy. It's unfortunate, but most likely, I will be sharing my ideals and my love to no one but myself.
 
goldatom

goldatom

Well-known member
rubyred,

You're thinking too much. Many of us think too much and worry too much about unnecessary things. That's where anxieties and disorders come from. For eg. a person might worry too much about there being germs on his/her hands, and frequently wash them to the point of doing nothing else! Then it's a problem. So the way out is so start doing things which are good for you. Like work, study, indulge in your hobbies. Because no matter what life is and what the universe is, if you don't do constructive things like the above, you might face problems later! So remember - relax, keep your anxieties and irrelevant thoughts at bay, and do constructive things while enjoying them.
 
F

fuzzylogic

1
I got dissociation feelings and thoughts from anxiety when I was younger which seemed to be aggravated by smoking pot - which gave me hppd where my face would morph into an alien when I looked into the mirror in dim light. My face felt numb and I thought objects where staring at me and wanted to get me when I wasn't watching. But I got rid of all my anxiety over this stuff by looking upon thoughts and ideas about things and how things are as nothing more than theories that exist somewhere mentally.
 
Paahi

Paahi

Well-known member
I think and feel like that too, rubyred716.
I try not to think about it too much.
 
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