perfectionism

[Smokeringz]

Perfectionism, does anyone else whip themselves mentaly when they dont succeed?
My view is queit simple on the subjet, as I used to be a perfectionist (and I still am to a degree) if I am to settle for goals and love my goals that are lower, than I will attain these goals and feel good. But if I am to think on the opposite end, then I would be thinking greedy and wasting my time Beacuse for one if you set yourself an impossible goal that you'll never reach then you will keep trying for this goal. Example: I want to run two hours A day, I cannot do this now. If I continued to do this for a few day and kept on the pattern of perfetionism than I would quit. But if I made resonable goals then I would eventualy reach the two hours in time, 40 minutes a day for two weeks then an hour a day, then maby I'll try for an hour an a half who knows.
If anyone else has perfectionism thoughts lets hear them.

 

[coyote]

Yep, I've wasted so much time NOT doing things because conditions weren't perfect, that if I'd just done a little at a time - imperfectly - I may have accomplished a great many of my goals.

I also have a hard time delegating tasks - afraid they won't be done the way I envision them.

I have a hard time collaborating on projects, too, because I want things done my way - but I'm too anxious to lead or direct the group.

 

[Tiercel]

I usually want things done perfectly. I know I'm not perfect, so I often don't even try.

I can't even begin to count all the things I started but never finished, or things I never bothered to do at all....

Of course that then feeds the self abuse. "I couldn't even do that right." And it just makes me feel worse about myself because it seems to make sense. Whether or not it is true is always up for debate, but in my mind it's always just more proof that I'm not good enough.

Sometimes I hate my brain.

 

[BlackPuma]

Oh yes, I can totally relate.

I refrain from any immediate/daily goals. Because I know there's going to be one of those day when conditions aren't perfect that I can't mentally bring myself to do it.

That's why I set big, but distant goals that give me years of time to achieve them (depending on how much effort/time I put into it).

As of late my goals are:

* Create a fictional universe + story, then turn it into a franchise.
* Develop professional paint/sketch/coloring/2D animation/3D modelers + animation/coding/cooking skills.
* Learn to play piano/get musically involved.
* Find a job.

Pretty much overly ambitious goals (with exception to the last one), but I have until my final breath to achieve them. ;3

 

[sleeper]

My perfectionism and fear of failure has kept me from trying many new things throughout my life, and all it does is leave me with regrets. I definately think this is one of my traits that is contributing to my anxiety as well.

 

[awkwardamanda]

Ever since I was a kid I thought of myself as a perfectionist. Especially in school. I always got good grades but I took so much longer to do things than everybody else. I spent so much more time trying to do it right. Sometimes I found it difficult just to do an okay job of things. I'd fret over something forever and get nowhere. It was like all or nothing. But eventually things got more difficult and I kinda lowered my standards. It was too hard to do well and sometimes I was happy to do okay. But I often kicked myself for not being able to keep up with the higher standards I once had. Maybe a few years ago I started wondering if I had OCD (for other reasons beyond perfectionism). But, more recently, I've been thinking it's more likely Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD), which is similar, but not the same thing. Perfectionism is a big part of it, but a lot of the other aspects of it describe me quite well too.

Yep, I've wasted so much time NOT doing things because conditions weren't perfect, that if I'd just done a little at a time - imperfectly - I may have accomplished a great many of my goals.

I also have a hard time delegating tasks - afraid they won't be done the way I envision them.

I have a hard time collaborating on projects, too, because I want things done my way - but I'm too anxious to lead or direct the group.

That's about what I'm like. I like to just do things on my own. I don't like help or to let others do certain things because I know they won't do them the way I want. Sometimes I'll redo what someone else has done because I don't like the way they did it. A common trait of those with OCPD.

 

[doubleM]

yeah im a perfectionist by nature, being an infp personality type. i guess i care too much what people think of my work, but is more what i think. if i do something i usually want the best things to do it with and put 100% into. which is a good thing in some ways.

 

[coyote]

...But, more recently, I've been thinking it's more likely Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD), which is similar, but not the same thing. Perfectionism is a big part of it, but a lot of the other aspects of it describe me quite well too....

Yes, I scored very high on the OCPD portion of the personality disorder test.

 

[awkwardamanda]

Yes, I scored very high on the OCPD portion of the personality disorder test.

Yeeaaah. I scored high...unsurprisingly.

 

[Honda]

My perfectionism and fear of failure has kept me from trying many new things throughout my life, and all it does is leave me with regrets. I definately think this is one of my traits that is contributing to my anxiety as well.

Yeah same here but i learned one thing later.. How can you become wise and successful at what you do if you didnt start stupid and made mistakes and learned from them.. I used to pressure myself about perfectionism because i know im lazy and careless... I wish i let go a long time ago and experienced the failure then i wouldn't have known how to be careful and responsible at the last moment..

 

[EscapeArtist]

Yep, I've wasted so much time NOT doing things because conditions weren't perfect, that if I'd just done a little at a time - imperfectly - I may have accomplished a great many of my goals.

I also have a hard time delegating tasks - afraid they won't be done the way I envision them.

I have a hard time collaborating on projects, too, because I want things done my way - but I'm too anxious to lead or direct the group.

Well said. same

 

[sevenroses]

I would say that I have a bit of a perfectionist attitude throughout my day to day living. I seem to be a perfectionist at work. I tend to stress out easily if something isn't done right and I loose piece of mind. Even in high school and elementary I always submit my test last so I can always double check as much as possible and possibly add in more answers. I guess this perfectionist attitude ties up with my SA and people approving of what I say etc.

 

[Emily_G]

I'm definitely hard on myself if I don't acheive something I set out to do.

 

[vj288]

Yeah, I am (or at least was) a perfectionist. My SA kicked in after I made an "Major, irreversible mistake" in my eyes and started to have to come to irrational terms that I could never be a passable human being. At the time I was in a very religious stage of my life and was certain that Hell was unavoidable until I found a way to make it better. Morally I thought if you did something wrong you knew was wrong it was the worst thing you can do. I held this thing to be very, very wrong and yet I continued to do. Every time I did it I became less and less perfect, but it didn't matter because I was already unfixably damaged, too imperfect, and just dug me a deeper hole. If you really want to know how I was feeling listen to Fiona Apple's song Criminal. Not the same situation, but definitely the same feeling.

My advice to all those perfectionist out there is too remember you can't win, even with the "perfect person with perfect imperfections" theory. You can't stop caring about that stuff, but take your imperfections as they are and turn them into you. Don't be stubborn, you can't change the past.