Och aye the noo

[Graeme1988]

Yea the pain endured from tattooing can vary from person to person, but there are definitely places which are more painful than others. My arm and shoulder wasn't painful, but my kidney areas were excruciatingly painful.

I have no tatts on my feet but I have heard from many ppl that it's high on the pain Richter scale, along with the stomach and rib areas.

Anyways, cool tatt

Naw, I don't intend upon getting any tattoos on my feet or kidney areas. Though, I heard the same said about getting tattooed on the feet.

 

[Graeme1988]

Ah love that my family still - even as I approach 30 years of age - underestimate and question my ability to do the simplest of tasks, like putting my sock on in the morning. All because of my disability. Yet, insist upon doing it for me. h:

And still see nothing wrong in lying to, and manipulating me to get their way.

Great, innit? :thumbdown:

 

[Graeme1988]

Just 24 hours, the ink's barely even dry, and my oldest sister is asking:

"So... When ye getting yer next tattoo?" h:​

F**kin' hell! Like, ah know, I said I wanted some of them afore the summer, but gimme a break. I'm no that impulsve... Not that I'm offended. Just confused. Maybe it's just me but I've been one for making a decision withoot giving it some thought.

I mean, I don't want to regret getting any of tattoos done. I'd rather they have meaning to me, or at least, my first few.

 

[Graeme1988]

So if you don't know who you are how do you find. Out who are? How do you find what like ?Because I don't really like anything. How do you find out what you like to do because I don't really like doing anything. I do stuff but I don't really like it I just do it because it all I can think of to do.

So you see my set back but after you find out who you are how do you find friends that like who you are?

Sorry for taking someone's else's thread/post. But this something I've been asking myself for years. :sad:

 

[Graeme1988]

Hmmm... Should I get my next tattoo so after my first? :question: :thinking: I mean, if it's going be, roughly, £90 pounds at most, the money I usually get for my birthday should cover it. :idontknow:

 

[Graeme1988]

Don't know what it is about me? Ma face? Height? Size? People seem to take an instant, immediate dislike to me. I know, being bi-racial, mixed or whatever the f**k ye want to term it, I should be used to that from folk. Having gotten it most of my life. But it's still, a difficult thing to make peace and come terms with. Especially since my family have done the same thing... Making assumptions about me without bothering to try and understand my life.

Cuz it's no easy going through life with a disability. Despite the whole courageous image of disabled folk as having this drive to triumph, and overcome the obstacles we face. Ah feel like ah've done that alone. I don't even like to reflect too much upon those challenges, just face 'em and keep moving forward. Guess that's what I get for being told to stop living in the past?

As my mum once told me: "The good thing about getting older is, ye forget stuff ye don't want to rememeber"​

 

[Graeme1988]

Just got this...

Hooked up to this...

And to test out this software on my laptop...

Listened to the output via headphone... The synth effects sound f**kin' amazing! Particularly the broken, gitch effect patches.
But it'll be better once I get my keyboard playing skills slightly improved. Can only imagine how it'll sound via my KRK speakers.
So chuffy, and happy that my minimal home-studio setup has worked out better than I'd originally thought it would.

At least, I now know that my electric guitar is going sound great via my laptop as well.

 

[theslowesthand]

Hmmm... Should I get my next tattoo so after my first? :question: :thinking: I mean, if it's going be, roughly, £90 pounds at most, the money I usually get for my birthday should cover it. :idontknow:

You could get one per year. You can use them as something to look foward, ie like a treat. :question:

 

[Graeme1988]

You could get one per year. You can use them as something to look foward, ie like a treat. :question:

Hmmm.... :thinking: That could work - ie, my birthday. And my next one's going to coincide with that. My first was merely done as my way of commemorating to everything I went through in 2016. And I'd have got it done last year, but couldnae decide on the design, then booking time to have it done was awkward - due to the place being owned and ran by one person. And only does tattooing part time, so he's not working there everyday.

But, having said all that. On the other hand, if I've got most of ma tattoo ideas sorted, as far placement on my body. I could just get them every couple o' months. :question: Since, depending on what I'm looking to have done, I doubt the price would go beyond £100 - unless I was getting a big tattoo done over a course of a few days.

What with the outline of the tatt, itself, taking up most of the time. Colouring doesn't take that long, really.

 

[theslowesthand]

Wow, just found out Jimmy Barnes is Scottish-born! In all the years of playing Cold Chisel, i never knew that... :thinking:
Also, on top of that, he briefly replaced Bon Scott in Fraternity!
Did ye know all that?

 

[Graeme1988]

Wow, just found out Jimmy Barnes is Scottish-born! In all the years of playing Cold Chisel, i never knew that... :thinking:
Also, on top of that, he briefly replaced Bon Scott in Fraternity!
Did ye know all that?

Nope! Ha! Ye learn something new everyday. Knew Bon Scott was, obviously. And, eh, David Byrne of Talking Heads is also Scottish-born! Born in Dumbarton, but raised in America.

 

[Graeme1988]

Ah don't think I'll be aroon much longer. Life's no fur the likes o' me, really. :sad: Crippled c*nts like me are just spare an early death, so we cun suffer more hardship than other folk. Naw, don't get aw teary-eyed for me, that's just the f**kin' truth o' the matter.

Or, at least, my experience, anyway.

 

[Hot_Tamale]

Its Valentines Day, the one day out of the year we devote to love...where's my chocolates and rose bouquet Graeme? Where is the beautiful night out underneath the stars in Paris like you promised me, hmm?

 

[Graeme1988]

Its Valentines Day, the one day out of the year we devote to love...where's my chocolates and rose bouquet Graeme? Where is the beautiful night out underneath the stars in Paris like you promised me, hmm?

Sorry, ah didn't forget. Just couldn't get that flight booked in time. And I'm to skint to afford them chocolates n' roses.

 

[Graeme1988]

Right, how is it that me and my sister both agree that our mum is frustating? Ah mean, thanks, like. Only took ye roughly 7 f**kin' years to notice. :thumbdown:

Though, my older sisters give our mum a pass. But then, they didnae get subjected to the verbal, emotional and physical abuse, and sexist, feminist tangents I had to endure, eh? I mean, I love my mum as well, but, just not to the level of putting her on a pedastal as my sisters. Plus, I'm a lot happier when I'm not having every decision I make contradicted. Or every thought, question or opinion I utter being dismissed. As my mum tends to look upon me as less worthy of being taken seriously.

Also, I don't know what the deal is with my sister spouting this nonsense about me

"You know better than me, anyway. I don't huv a clue"
"Yer a lot more capable than you'd like to think ye just sell yersel' short"​

Yesterday, she wus trying to convince to become a mechanic. I'd assume jokingly? :thinking: Since ah know sweet-f**k-all about cars.
And I hate having do stuff for folk, when they're more than capable of doing it themselves. They're just too lazy...

And she wus gettin' all nostalgic about my othopedic surgery:

"Just think, this time last year ye were hoopin' aboot with a zimmer frame. And look how far you've came, now, eh?"​

But today.... well, ah had to keep myself from laughing oot loud when she telt me that:

"Of course y'know what yer daein. You've got more common sense than the rest of us"

I nearly said: "Well, Gawd help me then..."

Doesnae really bode well for the rest o' them, eh? If me and one of my cousins are the only "smart" ones in the family, does it? If that's the case, then the rest o' my immediate family must huv the collective IQ of a f**kin' broom handle? :idontknow:

 

[Graeme1988]

Well, that's it! I'm done with trying to be social and outgoing. It's a waste o' f**kin' time.
Don't think I'm meant to be happy, anyway. :sad: So, I'm probably better off keeping to myself.
Nothing really works out for me, or it's rare it does.

I'm just stuck in this vicious circle of being a failure and disappointment to ma family, regardless of whether I do what I want or what I'm told. I'd prefer just no being here anymore, really. I'm just a burden to my family.

There's nae joy in making other folk happy, they just end up using yer kindness against ye.
Unless they do the same for you, of course.

 

[PugofCrydee]

I'd prefer just no being here anymore, really. I'm just a burden to my family.

There's nae joy in making other folk happy, they just end up using yer kindness against ye.
Unless they do the same for you, of course.

Have you sat down these ppl and told them how you feel? Maybe you have, maybe you havent. If you haven't (and been totally honest and upfront with them) then you can't expect anything to change.

 

[theslowesthand]

Nope! Ha! Ye learn something new everyday. Knew Bon Scott was, obviously. And, eh, David Byrne of Talking Heads is also Scottish-born! Born in Dumbarton, but raised in America.

Gee whiz, i didnae know that either! All these crazy talents from Scotland eh? :bigsmile:

 

[theslowesthand]

Ah don't think I'll be aroon much longer. Life's no fur the likes o' me, really. :sad: Crippled c*nts like me are just spare an early death, so we cun suffer more hardship than other folk. Naw, don't get aw teary-eyed for me, that's just the f**kin' truth o' the matter.

Or, at least, my experience, anyway.

Y'know i've been thinkin the same so far this year (& the last). I'm crippled too, but in different ways, but crippled nonetheless. I've become matter-of-fact about it too. I don't really care anymore if people will miss me, i'm past that. If i reach the point where i see the past misery repeating once again, with no hope of resolution by ordinary means, then i can see myself taking an early exit .. that is, if i have the courage. All things pass, die, whatever; i'm getting used to that fact, slowly but surely.

What are we talking here? months? weeks?? For me there is no timeframe at present, as i'm handling things ok, not often depressed, etc.

 

[Graeme1988]

Have you sat down these ppl and told them how you feel? Maybe you have, maybe you havent. If you haven't (and been totally honest and upfront with them) then you can't expect anything to change.

Tried to, but they'd rather be in denial, say that I'm lying. Doing it for attention, as far as the depression and anxiety goes. Particularly my mum. I mean, they won't even acknowledge how difficult my life is with my disability. My perspective is wrong and ah shouldnae talk like that, is all they say in response. Rather than admit that, aye, they do constantly pressure me to living up to their high, unspoken expectations. Or do hinder me more than help me. Or take responsibility for the times they've wronged me. Naw, I'm supposed to apologise to them for getting angry. Cuz it's always my fault, ye see?

If you've got a c*nt and a pair of tits, you can do no wrong in my family. And yer never wrong.