Och aye the noo

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
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That's what I said when I woke up yesterday

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Ps I wouldn't have minded being born from her womanly womb! (or to have some other involvement with her womanly parts! hehe)

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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, I went out and had a meal last night to celebrate my birthday. A change of the usual habit of staying in. It wus just me, my oldest sister and her fiancé. Sadly, Mum didn’t want to join us. Despite me inviting her.
But, oh, she didnae want the middle child to make a fuss about it... :kickingmyself:​

But she’s another feckin’ story, her, the older sister. :thumbdown:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I don’t think contentment is even possible anymore. ::(:

Life is just a meaningless crock o’ sh*te. :sad:

And most people, in my experience, are just inconsiderate, egotistical c*nts. :thumbdown:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, my physical and mental well-being are continuing their steep decline. :sad: Cannae wait for my pathetic, useless existence to end. ::(:

Also, feeling conflicted about moving out o' the family home. Ma oldest sibling has every confidence that I'll manage on my own, yet my mother is convinced that I'm utterly incapable of living independently. :kickingmyself:

Other that, it's the old f*ckin' story. The same day repeating on a loop, as I slowly lose the will to live. But I'm expected to pretend like it's aw grand. :thumbdown:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, it turns out that this...

Right, help needed here.

How tha f*ck d'ye split the signal fae the arse-end o' this...

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Into the inputs of this audio interface...

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Cannae be f*ckin’ done. :eek:h: Despite some eejit that works for an online musical instrument store that sells mostly guitars telling me otherwise. Oh, you’ll just need a line selector footswitch pedal for that... f*ckin’ arse.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Don’t know whit tae dae anymair... Ah just give up, ah really do. : kickingmyself:

Dinnae think ah wus ever meant to be happy in this life. It’s just yin disappointment efter another. Being take advantage of, treated like ah don’t matter. Muh family think I’m a f*ckin’ joke whenever ah speak my mind or show assertiveness.

Ah wouldnae wish ma life upon anybuddy. :sad: It’s a bloody struggle, huvin tae put yersel’ last aw the time. Caring for a parent who thinks it’s funny to threaten suicide - cuz “... it wus only a joke”. That’s no how dark humour works. As well as that, said parent sees nae wrong in using emotional abuse to get their way. Like burdening yer ain disabled son with the responsibility of caring for ya, cuz yer old. :thumbdown:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Nothin’ seems to be going right for me lately. :sad:

F*cked up ma back today, am in agony. Cannae sleep as a result o’ ma back. Went n’ buggered up one of ma guitars trying to get it in tune as well. :eek:mg: :kickingmyself:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah feel like ma life is just... going nowhere. Every school teacher who said I'd amount to nuthin' huv kinda been proven right. :sad:

My mother barely acknowledges me, it's as though ah dinnae even exist. F*ck, she rarely talk to me at all; yet she thinks that's the basis for "good" parental relationship. :crying: But then she's never had a history of being nice to me, she just put up with me cuz am payin' tae keep a roof over oor heids.

Ah often wonder whit ma life could've been had my Mum n' Dad put me up for adoption, cuz they never really wanted me. Ah get that sense from how ma mother continues to treat me n' how my Dad never really show much interest in getting to know me. Ah don't know... Guess the past 10 months huv got to me? :idontknow: How I cun never gie masel' time to just relax. How I'm always running efter other folk trying to keep 'em happy. :kickingmyself:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I've thought this about myself a lot over the years, dont have any helpful advice for you regarding it.. really just wanted to say you're not alone in it

I feel the same. :sad:

Good to know I’m not alone in how I’m feeling. My mother and older sister think I’m either bullsh*tting or ”... that just for a laugh”. :eek:mg:

But, keep in mind, my mother’s the kinda wummin who has used the possibility of her own suicide as a means to upset me n’ my oldest sibling, then pass it off as ”...just a joke”. ::(:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Speaking of the domineering matriarch, my Mum seems to think I’m in the wrong for selling stuff ah no longer huv any use for. :kickingmyself:

In this case, a guitar book, which could easily be downloaded as PDF file n’ scroll through on a laptop. Whit would be mair nostalgic aboot - a CD or vinyl copy of yer favourite album - which ye could still listen to with the right sort of stereo - or a book that allowed you to learn how to play the guitar parts of said album? :thinking: Ah know the yin I’d pick...

Yet mair proof tae me that my Mum is a total narcissistic control freak. I’m the only yin in my family who has to get approval whenever ah make a decision. And justify it... Every-f*ckin’-time !! :kickingmyself:

Ah cannae just decide to dae summit, then do it. Naw, no me! :thumbdown:
 
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