obsessed about ugliness

[Falkor]

Hello,

So this is another topic about my prob. I just can't cope with it.
I feel extremely obsessed about my ugliness.. ::
You guys might think, I look pretty, but without make up, I'm an ugly troll.
I'm deeply ashamed about my own appearance.This mornin', I looked in the mirror, and I felt like this extreme dissapointment feeling coming up. I went to bed again. Because I just can't show myself like this. It's all about my face, the issue. I don't like my skin, my lips, and my laugh is just terrible And .. My hair is like straw... (sorry for the rant)
it makes me tense, stressed and unhappy. I wish for a better appearance. In the past I've been bullied by classmates because I looked very boyish. I had short hair, wore boys clothes. I was really like the tomboy girl. people have brought me down and they found me VERY ugly. Over the years I have become obsessed about my appearance. I dare not to show my own self. I'm afraid of reactions from people. I envy those with smooth skin. I have a nice figure, I'm happy with that, but my face is my great shame. I would not complain but it presents every day. it keeps replaying in my head, and I would prefer to curl up in my room. people say that this is not necessary, which I think is wrong. But I have a strong suspicion that I have BDD. I so want freedom from this pain. It is impossible to describe what I undergo every day, it takes my life to complete. I hope for better times, and self acceptance, but I'm afraid this will take my whole life, because I have been dealing with this kind of BDD for years, I can't control it, and I'd rather not show myself to the world.
It's hard to understand my struggle, but this is the worst feeling in the world. I can't get anywhere.

 

[bsebring]

hun, it's all apart of having sa. I just spent 3 hrs getting ready today just to feel like an "ugly troll" as well. The best way I cope with it is coming to the realization that people aren't paying that much attention to anyone else. In actuality, people don't care what we look like. Personality makes us beautiful, not just cover up and perfect hair.

 

[Emmaa]

I have exactly the same problem.

I think what we need to remember is that people do not see us in the same way that we see ourselves, although I understand that it is much easier to say than do!

 

[sunboy400]

I have exactly the same problem.

I think what we need to remember is that people do not see us in the same way that we see ourselves, although I understand that it is much easier to say than do!

I think you are totally correct.most of the time we spend all our time thinking and beating ourselves about how ugly and useless we are but not knowing that most people don't see us in that light.i think we should learn to love ourselves more even if we don't feel it we just have to try

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I agree with Bsebring. In fact, I think we could say that they don't EXPECT us to be as perfect as we expect ourselves to be. So they don't mind if we are not: they are not perfect either. You know I have the same problem as you, you answered my thread about the same subject, so I have no solution to this. For now, my solution has been to accept that I'm ugly but refuse to have this keeping me from doing what I want to do.

 

[Falkor]

Thanks all for ur answers. Yeah nobody expects us to be pretty, maybe I should keep that in mind, thanks, Now I feel good, but mostly I have this problem in the afternoon's, at the evening I don't care about it. Weird huh? But yeah. I should just don't give anything about my looks, because nobody is forcing me. So I will just not make up, but just make up my mind about being so ugly.. LOL ::
I'm happy right now, cuz I'm looking forward to old year's eve!!

 

[Xylia]

I personally think you're very pretty and that was after looking at the pic where you were with your grandma. You don't look like you're wearing much makeup in that one.... so just sayin'

 

[nafadda]

whatever your feeling IMO comes from the inside of you and NOT the outside...no amount of makeup or cosmetic surgery will ever cure that, if it's not fixed from 'within'.....

also,if you ever want to test yourself and have something to ponder about 'ugliness'..go to a hospital where someone may have severe facial damage from perhaps a bomb blast or fire,or accident..then you may see what "beauty' you were givin is actualy a gift,and you may accept it and treasure it much more,think of how they would feel to be able to be as 'ugly' as you say you are...just a thought

 

[Aussie_Lad]

also,if you ever want to test yourself and have something to ponder about 'ugliness'..go to a hospital where someone may have severe facial damage from perhaps a bomb blast or fire,or accident..then you may see what "beauty' you were givin is actualy a gift,and you may accept it and treasure it much more,think of how they would feel to be able to be as 'ugly' as you say you are...just a thought

This is actually a good idea.

My mum's cousin, was involved in a serious plane crash when he was a lot younger. The plane errupted in flames upon impact, and he had his face quite badly burned. He still bears scars from the crash to this day. While he was in hospital the nurse that was looking after him, eventually become his wife. When I first met him, I was quite repelled by his appearance, but it's what underneath that counts. His wife obviously looked past his imperfections, and once you get over the initial shock of seeing him, it turns out that there is a beautiful soul inside of him. Outside appearance is only good for first impressions, for once you start talking to someone then only their personality is important.

ps. Flowergirlie, I like a woman without makeup, it shows the real person. Makeup is a way of covering up. The real beauty of a woman is what she looks like when all the eye shadow and lipstick are taken off at the end of the day.

 

[Pookah]

Referring to genetic "ugliness." Like it or not people respond positively to attractiveness and not so much to ugliness. I have experienced it first hand, being not very pretty.

In my opinion, I think you are a good looking person, Flowergirlie. But I can understand low self esteem and I hope the people around you can bolster your confidence.

 

[Liam17]

Yes i think i'm very ugly.

I was bullied for years, being called it.

By women mostly. That it self shattered my confidence.

I had bad acne at point, and i'm left with some scarring, near my neck. So bare in mind people don't see that on my pictures etc. Thats why i hardly believe people, when they say i'm not.

 

[jus]

I was at my parents house the other day, was looking at pictures of when I was 13. I had the clearest skin, all even tones.... I was even smiling in ALL the photo's !!! I was hawt ! I was so happy back then.
Year or 2 later I also got acne for like 6 years.
14 years later.. (27 now) I hate my skin tones, all uneven with red patches here and there. Dark/puffy circles under my eyes. Probably doesnt help that I smoke, but yeah my appearance is pretty much the only thing that causes me issues. It sucks cause when im getting dressed in the morning sometimes I think I look pretty good, then i go into the bathroom which is alot brighter and I see the uneven skin tones/puffy eyes etc etc


Saying that though.. I think alot of us could have it alot worse. I was at the supermarket the other day and there was this attractive girl, 20-something and she had a massive dark birthmark or something covering 3/4 of her face/neck. She was walking around smiling and happy looking. Made me wonder why I am so unhappy about my minor issues... its interesting everyones minds work differantly.

Yes i think i'm very ugly.

I was bullied for years, being called it.

By women mostly. That it self shattered my confidence.

I had bad acne at point, and i'm left with some scarring, near my neck. So bare in mind people don't see that on my pictures etc. Thats why i hardly believe people, when they say i'm not.

 

[JamesSmith]

Worrying about the looks that you've been giving genetically is a waste of time. There are things you can do to make yourself look better like exercise if you are overweight, or dress nicer, or if you are a woman you have those makeovers you could do. After you've done what you can reasonably, you should just move on and not think about it. Yeah, looks can matter, but me being a decent looking guy I can tell you that talking to people is so much more important than looks if you want to be respected, liked and noticed. I do feel sorry for women in a way, cuz I personally think that your sex is judged on looks more than guys are. Well, I guess if you are attractive and a woman that would be a great thing, and I don't feel sorry for those women at all. In fact, it believe attractive women have the easiest lives of anyone. If you don't believe me, go to an NBA game and start by the courtside seats and go up to the top and look at the people as you go by. The attractive women are closer to the court, and the reason they got there wasn't necessarily from working hard.

 

[Fearn]

You look very pretty flowergirl, infact all you girls do, I'd date you all

 

[alejandro84]

Hello,

So this is another topic about my prob. I just can't cope with it.
I feel extremely obsessed about my ugliness.. ::
You guys might think, I look pretty, but without make up, I'm an ugly troll.
I'm deeply ashamed about my own appearance.This mornin', I looked in the mirror, and I felt like this extreme dissapointment feeling coming up. I went to bed again. Because I just can't show myself like this. It's all about my face, the issue. I don't like my skin, my lips, and my laugh is just terrible And .. My hair is like straw... (sorry for the rant)
it makes me tense, stressed and unhappy. I wish for a better appearance. In the past I've been bullied by classmates because I looked very boyish. I had short hair, wore boys clothes. I was really like the tomboy girl. people have brought me down and they found me VERY ugly. Over the years I have become obsessed about my appearance. I dare not to show my own self. I'm afraid of reactions from people. I envy those with smooth skin. I have a nice figure, I'm happy with that, but my face is my great shame. I would not complain but it presents every day. it keeps replaying in my head, and I would prefer to curl up in my room. people say that this is not necessary, which I think is wrong. But I have a strong suspicion that I have BDD. I so want freedom from this pain. It is impossible to describe what I undergo every day, it takes my life to complete. I hope for better times, and self acceptance, but I'm afraid this will take my whole life, because I have been dealing with this kind of BDD for years, I can't control it, and I'd rather not show myself to the world.
It's hard to understand my struggle, but this is the worst feeling in the world. I can't get anywhere.

i feel the same about myself and it only makes my SA worse. I can honestly say you are pretty by looking at your photographs on your profile. I'd probably be unable to tell you that face to face because of my own anxiety. But online its easier. The 3rd photo in your profile is a nice one very smiley and cute pose! Keep smiling