No one knows you are shy

[*Amy*]

@ *Amy* the answer is: Because you send the message to people "Don't talk to me cuz I'm scared" They can notice your behaviors.

Then there IS rejection actually. They reject me because of my shyness and fears.

 

[DespairSoul]

It doesn't work on you because you have extremely anxiety. you have to control your anxiety with medication.

Yes i have extremly anxiety, and BDD! Medication will not completely solve my problems. Maybe little calm me down. And at all i will feel similar as now.Then where is the diffrence. I hate myself and world to much in me is something more as anxiety i think i just cant love nothing. If i love i suffer if i dont love i suffer.

 

[DespairSoul]

1. Rejection is reall and this i prove it many times!

I give situation yes: I will go every day with the same bus to work. Every day will be there same people what i meet if i go on bus. I will be nervous, give head down coz i will be afrraid to look it in eyes because of my fear.And shake it hands and will not able give ticket to machine for tickets. What they will feel about me?Plus this i dont look much sympatic from appereance + my fears.

a) neutral
b) positive
c)negative
d)hate
e) love
f)nothing
g)she is weird and smile to me


Answer is g an you know why? People dont like things what stick out from society. They dont like strange stuff no matter of what is going. If u look not sympatic to them from apperaence they already make box for you: She is ugly or weird looking i will not like her.
She act diffrently she is nervous then really is with her something wrong ooou hands away from her...and attention never seat next to her in bus she is so weird. Like this people always will boxing you if you have SA or not. Just people are judgemental and they always will be coz of color your skin,coz of big nose, no matter what i dont want be in those judgemental world this is one of the reason i cant rid of it my SA coz i hate people and they will never change problem isnt in me problem is in them! I call this boxing coz for everyone people create a box and place him there.

 

[Dj SL]

@MsBuzzkillington; let me be more specific; so, you can understand me.

Shyness: people experience anxiety during social situations but once they are in a save place they don't feel anxiety and they don't worry about what is coming next.

SAD: people experience anxiety during social situations, when they are alone they keep experience anxiety because they worry about what social situations are coming next.

 

[Dj SL]

@ *Amy*; they don't reject you... they don't know how to talk or approach to you. They think "She looks like she is scared, If I talk or approach to her she could reject me".

People don't reject Social phobics because they are quiet, sensible and compassive.

People reject toxic people like; people who are annoying.

 

[Dj SL]

@Despairsoul; the medication doesn't work if you don't act. Medication and therapy works together.

In addition, you cannot prove rejection because you cannot read people's mind. You are only imagine that you are going to be rejected. In my opinion the answer is "a" because people care about what are they doing or what are they going to do. People thinks about them lives, examples; friends, music, job, school, family. If someone see you that you are shaking... then that person is going to think she has a cold. nothing else.

"No one can reject you, judge you or criticize you because they don't know you"

 

[DespairSoul]

@Despairsoul; the medication doesn't work if you don't act. Medication and therapy works together.

In addition, you cannot prove rejection because you cannot read people's mind. You are only imagine that you are going to be rejected. In my opinion the answer is "a" because people care about what are they doing or what are they going to do. People thinks about them lives, examples; friends, music, job, school, family. If someone see you that you are shaking... then that person is going to think she has a cold. nothing else.

"No one can reject you, judge you or criticize you because they don't know you"

DJ SL,

This have nothing common with this if they know me or not. They just do it rejection exist say what do you want. I was proving many times. Another they still remember you and have funn from you and point on you. What you say on this if i did hear them many times what they was saying isnt rejection this?People think about their lives this i know as well but if they can lower someone or just make funn they do it. And this i call rejection. ISNT MY IMAGINE AND ISNT COZ OF SA. I know they do it. In school they was doing to me as well. If you really believe that people dont reject then i congratulations to you. You sugest you only positive thinking but reality is diffrent believe me!!! Ou and shaking because of cold common DJ in a summer yes?

 

[mozart87]

I have never really been able to tell the difference between social anxiety and shyness.

The fact that some people tell me I might just be shy and it's nothing like social anxiety, makes me feel like I am stuck in some sort of limbo. Am I really just "shy"? Do I not have social anxiety? Is what I feel nothing compared to others? If others feel worse and I am just shy, then shouldn't I be able to beat this easier? If I don't have it as bad as them, why do I feel so bad about it all the time?

Some people say they wish they were only just shy instead of having SA. But I really don't understand why. I don't understand how they are different. If you think that someone is just shy is different from you and you have SA, I want to know why you think that person has it easier than you do.

Not only that, there are so many different variations of SA. Even within these communities. Some people can do things that others can't. Some people have an easier time talking on the phone, others dread it.

So what is Social Anxiety anyway, and what if we are all only "just shy" but our anxiety levels are higher than "normal"?

and to add... I don't think you can be extroverted and shy. Those two clash. It's an oxymoron.

I think holistic medicine is more correct when it says: " there are no diseases, there are only ill people".
You can't make a clear separation between shyness and SA. in the best case you can distinguish extreme social phobia from shyness. cause I think when you're shy, you almost have SA.

I can definetely tell that shy people are not "ok". sure, it's not so obvious but only they know what's in their heart.
to give an example: I had a great colleague in high school. He was inteligent, always studying and performing good. I've never seen him blushing sweating or something like that. I even remember him making fun of me because I was blushing when we used to play football.
but (there is a but) I have never noticed him socializing more than at a polite level with girls for example. like he never wanted to risk anything. he always seemed to do safe things, not to have any problem.
And I also know from another colleague with whom he used to go to clubs, bars etc that he told me once that my shy colleague "is never enjoying going out". He does that only to have some friends and acquaintances


so, to make a long story short, shyness is not something too nice to live wheter it can be or not diagnosed (by the conventional medicine) with SA

 

[Kiwong]

@ Kiwong:


How do you know people doesn't like you?

Because they call me names, they laugh at me, they mumble at me as I walk by.

People will dislike others for many reasons, it is a fact of life, how you respond to it is the question. How much power you give the people who dislike you is the problem. SA sufferers give too much power, because of low self esteem.

 

[DespairSoul]

Because they call me names, they laugh at me, they mumble at me as I walk by.

People will dislike others for many reasons, it is a fact of life, how you respond to it is the question. How much power you give the people who dislike you is the problem. SA sufferers give too much power, because of low self esteem.

Kiwong yes exactly you have the point! People will dislike others for many reasons and this is fact of life. We must only learn to accepting that(if we dont give up till that time) or just will fight with it till we dont die. We give a lot of power and SA suck it from us. Im so tired from trying all the time fit to public.

 

[just wanna b normal]

But see... what I still don't get, is how you can distinguish between shyness and SA when there isn't even a technical term for shyness.

Shyness isn't a disorder. But SA. So why can't the two be the same thing. What if SA was just labeled as being shy because no one knew what SA was?

I mean, someone who is shy is scared to talk in public, scared to talk to people, scared to make eye contact, scared to do many things. So, I still don't see a real clear cut difference.

aha i found something that can help i found this off this page -- Many people get nervous or self-conscious on occasion, like when giving a speech or interviewing for a new job. But social anxiety disorder is more than just shyness or occasional nerves. If you have social anxiety disorder, your fear of embarrassing yourself is intense — so intense, in fact, that you may go to great lengths to avoid situations that would trigger it. The good news is that many effective treatments and self-help strategies can help you overcome the symptoms of social anxiety and reclaim your life.Social Anxiety Disorder and Social Phobia: Symptoms and Treatment

 

[Dj SL]

@Despairsoul,

In reallity everything exist, but you choose who you want to be, Some part of this world is wonderful the other part is horrible. It's your choice in what world you wanna live.

Everyone in this world thinks different. Life is to short to be afraid all the time.

Let me ask you a question do u think everybody rejects you?

 

[Dj SL]

@MsBuzzkillington; I want you to read a book that help me. They talk about Shyness and SAD, Different types of shyness, different types of social phobics; The book is call: Shyness ( edited by warren H. Jones, Jonathan M. Cheek, and Stephen R. Briggs).

 

[EscapeArtist]

Ok will do man. Truth as any

 

[Dj SL]

@Kiwong,

They just want to give you a hard time and have fun but that doesn't mean they dislike you.

 

[Kiwong]

@Kiwong,

They just want to give you a hard time and have fun but that doesn't mean they dislike you.

No you are wrong. There is nothing but a deep hatred in their eyes, and spitefullness in their words.

 

[DespairSoul]

@Despairsoul,

In reallity everything exist, but you choose who you want to be, Some part of this world is wonderful the other part is horrible. It's your choice in what world you wanna live.

Everyone in this world thinks different. Life is to short to be afraid all the time.

Let me ask you a question do u think everybody rejects you?

Please, dont tell me those things that i choice what i want to be. I dont want to never be freak ok? People make me sick. And before i was normal and when start those bad experiences in public with them also start my BDD and SA. Is my choice what in wich world i wanna live?Perfect...then i wanna peacefull one with out haters it is possible? Whether u can realize this for me i will be healthy...i dont choice this i choise be izolate me because i suffer between them because im not accepted as other and this make me sick...

Answer on your question is simple not everyone reject me but is more of rejection as of accepting if will be conversly and time to time will be some rejection then i will be ok,some one get rejection one time per year and this must be wonderfull feeling. And some one almost never. Im me and will be always the same,why i must be this one who must fight for air,for see trees and for go shopping...they do it normaly with out thinking deeply about it...coz they know well they get outside smiles not cloudy faces,hate and misunderstanding...

 

[Dj SL]

@ Kiwong,

Advice: Stay away from toxic people, Is this happening in school?

 

[Dj SL]

@Despairsoul,

Yes is your choice in which world you wanna live, everything is in your mind, you can have the vision to see the world peaceful. Your past is behind.... If you decide to change your life, everything in you will be different. Don't lose hope, you don't know what the future will bring for you.

 

[mismeek]

people in class dont talk to me because they think I'm acting stuck up or bitchy, but in reality I get so nervous about talking to strangers that I get nauseous. So I try to avoid.. dont wanna risk throwing up in class.