No life experience/skills

[recluse]

Do you feel that your parents did not bother to teach you how to do everyday stuff like how to cook?

I feel that a child needs to be taught how to live by their parents and i feel that i have no experience and i don't have the simple skills like cooking.

I feel like a little kid in regards to life experience and i am 28. I often blame my parents for my non existant confidence.::

 

[mrb]

hey its easy mate ... you dont need your parents for that , yea sure whilst learning to cook you will burn a few things , but its all part of learning to cook ... i do great toast lol

 

[AimeeSP]

Yeah, but then when i became a vegetarian years ago i had to cook for myself, i was an outcast to the rest of the family lol. ::

yea sure whilst learning to cook you will burn a few things , but its all part of learning to cook ... i do great toast lol

Me too, can't beat my beans on toast. ::

 

[recluse]

Well what i mean is my parents kind of spoiled me and my sister, you know we didn't have to anything in the way of chores, but i wish my parents would have like gone ''Right here's the washing machine...This is how it works''.....''This is how to cook''....You know taught us to use initiative. I might sound ungrateful but looking back i wish my parents would have done it this way like a lot of my school friends, perhaps i would have turned out more confident like them.

 

[Danfalc]

Well what i mean is my parents kind of spoiled me and my sister, you know we didn't have to anything in the way of chores, but i wish my parents would have like gone ''Right here's the washing machine...This is how it works''.....''This is how to cook''....You know taught us to use initiative. I might sound ungrateful but looking back i wish my parents would have done it this way like a lot of my school friends, perhaps i would have turned out more confident like them.

Theres nothing to stop you learning now,yes it might have helped you have more confidence if it had happen earlier,but its never too late to try and learn or take controll a bit more for yourself

Its very easy to get caught up in the past.But imo dwelling on the past constantly isnt always healthy.Life isnt always fair and it does suck,but yknow its never too late to try and make a change ourselves.

 

[Hellhound]

I don't feel it, I know they didn't teach me anything. They never had any interest.

 

[Lea]

Cooking or doing laundry or other basic life skills can be learned any time, but still I know what you mean Recluse. I know how to take care of myself, but still I have feeling like my parents didn't give me what they should in this regard. It's not only about actually learning these things, but something more.. it is very important that parents teach their children these things. When you learn it later it is not the same, don't know why. Just my feeling. As if there was something missing.

 

[Argonar]

Well what i mean is my parents kind of spoiled me and my sister, you know we didn't have to anything in the way of chores, but i wish my parents would have like gone ''Right here's the washing machine...This is how it works''.....''This is how to cook''....You know taught us to use initiative. I might sound ungrateful but looking back i wish my parents would have done it this way like a lot of my school friends, perhaps i would have turned out more confident like them.

Yes, I feel the same way. I feel everything was handed to me while I sat and watched.

 

[recluse]

I feel that i've been wrapped up in cotton wool so to speak and i still feel like my parents shelter me at my age!

I've definately lived a sheltered life.

 

[Nicholas]

OMG Recluse, I know exactly what you mean, I'm pretty much in the same situation! And it sucks because it makes me feel inferior, dependent, ashamed, hesitant, insecure, dissatisfied, worried...

But you know what? It doesn't matter, because the only thing that matters is that we are willing to learn. When you are willing to learn, there's always someone willing to teach you. Learning to cook is actually very easy. But doing the laundry seems much more difficult... :: You know, burning food is ok, but ruining a 100 dollar piece of clothing is NOT ok, LOL.

 

[Richey]

i'd make the worst boyfriend/friend as the person i am now, i mean i feel lazy and unsinpired alot of the time, i have an education but career prospects are really uncertain and while i have life skills i haven't travelled and its just bizarre, just bizzare. i keep thinking i need to book myself into 24 hour therapy like house did. though he was sort of forced in. perhaps there is some chemical inbalance or something that makes me behave like this.
i dont have a clue but i watch my sister and cousins and they are out with friend every night, own houses, travel, make you laugh all the time, they are freaking perfect in every way and i feel as if while i'm a good person i'm a complete waste of space in comparison.

 

[phil91]

Yes, definitely. I was never aloud to do anything on my own when I was younger. I remember when I was a kid all my friends would go to places and do things together, and I was never aloud so just sat in my room watching TV instead. Even now when I go home, my mum still tries to do everything for me because she thinks I won't be able to do it (even when I'm making toast ffs).

You know the saying "people learn from their mistakes"? Well I think children should be allowed to make the mistakes themselves to prepare for the real world, instead of the parents just saying "no, that's a stupid idea", "I'll do it for you" etc. Our parents won't be there forever to tell us what's a good idea or not, so how will we ever learn for ourselves? Now I'm making all my mistakes as an adult, when the consequences are more serious than for a kid.

All I can say is, thank **** I finally got away from them.

 

[Jannah]

I was raised by a single mother most of my life and I still live with her now. I wash the dishes, pay my own bills though not always on time, do my own laundry, and cook here and there. But I still feel like a loser because I have no confidence in me. I have the lowest self esteem imaginable. I sometimes think if my father would've raised me as well maybe I would be more of a "man" than a insecure, sensitive, overly emotional guy. FML I'm just a big cry baby.

 

[Bemzy]

I was raised by a single mother most of my life and I still live with her now. I wash the dishes, pay my own bills though not always on time, do my own laundry, and cook here and there. But I still feel like a loser because I have no confidence in me. I have the lowest self esteem imaginable. I sometimes think if my father would've raised me as well maybe I would be more of a "man" than a insecure, sensitive, overly emotional guy. FML I'm just a big cry baby.

I was thinking really similarly to you a few years ago but then I realized it's not anyone's fault that I didn't have any confidence...it was just me. I have both of my parents and still, I had problems with my confidence.

As soon as I realized that it's up to me to make me feel confident the problem almost vanished in a matter of weeks. It's all about how your mind is programmed.

I don't want to sound like a motivational guru but that's just the way it is. Personally I know a bunch of people who were raised just by their mothers and came out just fine, even more confident than average (not that I'm saying something's wrong with you).

Btw kudos to you for paying for your own bills!

 

[applegirl]

I don't feel like my parents made me have social phobia but i do feel like maybe I was just born this way. For as long as i could remember i've had some sort of social fear. of course in the mind of a little child it started out pretty much like nothing. like it turned from being afraid to strangers coming in the house (my parents dubbed it "shyness") to being afraid to ask for help over homework or bringing up something important about school or whatever. i mean i seriously would not ask for help if i needed it. there was a time i didn't ask for help from my brother as i usually was supposed to do and when my mom was checking my homework she saw all the blank pages of nothing written. i didn't know how to write the homework assignment but yet i was too scared to ask for help from my brother. i don't mean normal scared i mean anxiety fear scared. i don't think my parents had the slightest clue what was going on with me and why i was so apprehensive about asking for help. my mom had told me over and over before when there were countless times i did not ask for help that i absolutely needed to speak up. i guess she had reached her limit of trying to deal with me this time. first she was scolding me then yelling and screaming at me. she even threatened me and then slapped me. sometimes i think i'm over this but when i relive it in my head i remember myself thinking at the time this was happening how unfair she was being because she didn't understand the real reason why i wasn't asking for help. to me her actions that day were not justifiable because it didn't help solve the problem of the situation neither get some answers from me. if anything i'd like to think she did all those things to satisfy her raging temper. she really was unable to calm down. but what child could explain at the age i was the symptoms i was feeling? i didn't know what anxiety and social phobia were at that age and neither did my parents.
my mother had a frightening temper but also she was known to be quite timid around strangers and even suffer from some slight fear and apprehension when in "some" social situations. i wonder if i got it from her. my parents spoiled me rotten. they never let me do anything alone. see there is a difference between having low self esteem and having experience in certain skills. once my parents saw i didn't know how to do something they would not stand by me and guide me with their words and encourage me to do it with my own hands. instead they'd be running over and taking whatever out of my hands and doing it for me or telling me to go outside and let them handle it. I'm a college student now but my dad is still the ever obsessive one trying to do everything for me and my brother. it's gotten to a point i get angry at him for babying me. cause i do recognize my own freedom to choice and independence despite my lack of self confidence.

 

[BlueDays]

I learnt the majority of life skills when i moved out of home. Then you learn by doing, yes it is scary at first, but you get a great sense of achievement when you learn something yourself.
You can also learn a lot by watching others do things....why not just watch your mother while she is cooking/doing the laundry etc.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

Most things I know now, I had to eventually learn on my own, but I don't blame my parents or anyone else. I do blame my mom for certain things, but not for that. I blame her for not doing something about me while I was young. I was obviously not like other kids, I could never do the things kids typically do at young ages & it took me years to learn how. I needed professional help, but got it from no one & now I'm 28 & like this.

 

[Nocer]

I have parents but the seemed like they were too self involved to notice they had individual children. My dad moved away from home to find work at a very young age (he is just stranger to me now) and my mom kept on going back to school in an attempt from her dead end job, she kept getting her degrees but she never really did leave that job (+ she is scared of the world and how everything is trying to kill you which is weird since we all live in a nice cozy environment in North America). Now the funny part is that i raised myself up through t.v and a crazy imagination and we never had any relatives around so I was basically isolated from other people and I am not entirely sure how people actually think and their emotional responses, so in basic life experience and kills, I am pretty screwed.

 

[Mr isolated]

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[Mikefly]

Do you feel that your parents did not bother to teach you how to do everyday stuff like how to cook?

I feel that a child needs to be taught how to live by their parents and i feel that i have no experience and i don't have the simple skills like cooking.

I feel like a little kid in regards to life experience and i am 28. I often blame my parents for my non existant confidence.::

It's really easy to blame someone else especially your parents but your 28 your a man now you have to take it upon yourself to improve in what areas of your life you think you not so good at. I'm in the same boat but no one to blame but myself.