rodinski
Well-known member
This is driving me nuts. Here is my backstory.
For over, I don't know, 10+ years, I have had OCD. It started out as germs, then moved to sex, then people picked on me for not having a girl friend (btw, I never had one) and then my OCD turned in, wtf, am i gay bullshit, then moved to semen, then moved to washing my hands, then moved to this girl. I seriously hate this shit, it drives me nuts. I get over something, then the thought comes back, and bam, takes over once again.
This girl was the one that basically determined that I had OCD. I thought she took an interest in me, and what I did was use her as a means to get myself away from other thoughts that were effecting me. By originally admiring her from affar(in the sense that she was a building block for me, there were things that she did that reminded me of myself a long time ago before OCD began to manisfest itself), my OCD eventually took over and all I could think about is her and thinking if she liked me. Turning to signs, astrology, etc, just to figure out if she likes me. Eventually, I write down all my thoughts and things troubling me, things that went through my head and brought it to my councilor. (my goal was to try and make myself better to present myself to her and ask her out, heck, i even lost 60+ poinds to try and impress her). They suggest OCD. One person assest me, said it probably is, but on the fence. Then they brought me to a psychologist, she says it is full blown. I am currently on 100mg of zoloft, been on it for about a month, on the meds since early july/late june.
She is still on my mind. The story continues where I eventually confess all these feelings that i built up inside about her, and then pampered her with love notes. She eventually flipped, i called her a fake because all these "signs" i thought she liked me. **** my life. i told her all this when i had a red bull, and it doesn't mix well with zoloft.
so i appologized and explained my situation about it with her. she blocked me, eventually leading on to an unblock, but doesnt talk to me. she hasn't even sent a friend request, etc. at school, now university, i have a class with her. whenever she walks buy or i walk buy, a change in attitude occurs and she goes blank. really annoyed by this.
but she is on my ****ing mind ..... again. i've tried new diets, eating more protein, more exercise, blogging, talking with my counciler, trying to focus on school, but it just doesn't help. i'm obsessing about her and i kinda did stalk her too. **** my life, why does my OCD take my thoughts over, i friggen don't want to deal with this for the rest of my life. it is just so friggen problematic i just can't function anymore.
--------
kinda weird for my first post, but i think if i talk with other people who have OCD it might help : \
For over, I don't know, 10+ years, I have had OCD. It started out as germs, then moved to sex, then people picked on me for not having a girl friend (btw, I never had one) and then my OCD turned in, wtf, am i gay bullshit, then moved to semen, then moved to washing my hands, then moved to this girl. I seriously hate this shit, it drives me nuts. I get over something, then the thought comes back, and bam, takes over once again.
This girl was the one that basically determined that I had OCD. I thought she took an interest in me, and what I did was use her as a means to get myself away from other thoughts that were effecting me. By originally admiring her from affar(in the sense that she was a building block for me, there were things that she did that reminded me of myself a long time ago before OCD began to manisfest itself), my OCD eventually took over and all I could think about is her and thinking if she liked me. Turning to signs, astrology, etc, just to figure out if she likes me. Eventually, I write down all my thoughts and things troubling me, things that went through my head and brought it to my councilor. (my goal was to try and make myself better to present myself to her and ask her out, heck, i even lost 60+ poinds to try and impress her). They suggest OCD. One person assest me, said it probably is, but on the fence. Then they brought me to a psychologist, she says it is full blown. I am currently on 100mg of zoloft, been on it for about a month, on the meds since early july/late june.
She is still on my mind. The story continues where I eventually confess all these feelings that i built up inside about her, and then pampered her with love notes. She eventually flipped, i called her a fake because all these "signs" i thought she liked me. **** my life. i told her all this when i had a red bull, and it doesn't mix well with zoloft.
so i appologized and explained my situation about it with her. she blocked me, eventually leading on to an unblock, but doesnt talk to me. she hasn't even sent a friend request, etc. at school, now university, i have a class with her. whenever she walks buy or i walk buy, a change in attitude occurs and she goes blank. really annoyed by this.
but she is on my ****ing mind ..... again. i've tried new diets, eating more protein, more exercise, blogging, talking with my counciler, trying to focus on school, but it just doesn't help. i'm obsessing about her and i kinda did stalk her too. **** my life, why does my OCD take my thoughts over, i friggen don't want to deal with this for the rest of my life. it is just so friggen problematic i just can't function anymore.
--------
kinda weird for my first post, but i think if i talk with other people who have OCD it might help : \