this_portrait
Well-known member
This. Not only do I agree, but it describes my past relationship well.
My life would be better if I had a girlfriend
- Thread starter sullyS25
- Start date
This. Not only do I agree, but it describes my past relationship well.
Maybe, maybe not. They can wake up with you still asleep and steal all your money and take off never to be seen again. That happened to me once although she wasn't a girlfriend, just some chick that I picked up. Took all my paycheck from my wallet and left. Girlfriends can drag you to see sappy love movies and leave their flip flops in your truck all summer and make you listen to pop instead of metal. They can annoy you to no end with incessant ramblings of clothes, diets, drama, hair dye, and leave her rubber band pony tail holder thingys on your truck's gearshift. They leave their clothes all over the bedroom floor and makeup and beauty paraphanalia everywhere. I'm married and I still have to put up with all that and more and every girlfriend before my wife was the EXACT same way. THEN they wanna throw away your favorite ripped up jeans and want you to dress nice and shave more than twice a week and want you to stop cleaning guns on the kitchen table. It's really annoying. Aside from the fact she might or might not be good for your SA, she might help or hurt and a bad relationship just ain't good for anyone at all. I say get a gf and try it and if it ain't working let her go. Just be prepared for her to want you to take her to the mall and to fancy restaurants.
brokenfingers04
Well-known member
therapy is the only answer.
"Die Antwoord"
"Die Antwoord"
coyote
Well-known member
:thumbup: :thumbup:
Starry
Well-known member
Ahem... As a married woman I can assure everyone that not all girls are like that...
I don't watch "sappy love movies", or wear flip-flops, let alone leave them anywhere. I love metal, possibly more than my husband. I do not incessantly ramble about clothes, drama or hair dye (diets? well, sort of, I ramble about workouts...) I don't have any "rubber band pony tail holder thingys" to leave anywhere (in fact, my husband is the one who has a hair band to tie up his hair when he trims his beard...) I never use the things... I do not leave clothes all over the floor, nor do I have "make-up and beauty paraphernalia" everywhere...
And I know other girls and women who are also like that.
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To answer the original post:
Your life may be better with a significant other, if your main problem is loneliness. However, having someone else will not make your social phobia go away. It may, in some cases, (as in mine) give you a little more confidence, but the anxiety will still be there.
I must say your husband must be a lucky man.
This is totally awesome man! :applause:
Opaline
1
Wooooowwwwww. I'm no feminist, but this just screams sexism, even if you didn't intend it. Not all women are like that, just like not all men are sloppy, stupid, cheating douchebags looking for the next hottest thing to hump.
And coyote why did you thumbs-up it? :/
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coyote
Well-known member
because it's funny :ironicsmile:
It was not my intent to come across that way, simply sharing some of my experiences. I did not say ALL women are like that, just ALL the ones I've had relationships with were.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH:thumbup:
Marc7
Well-known member
Oh ok i get it now
Are still with your girlfriend?
I think you have to love yourself before dating, and also don't message them alot if they don't respond, trust me i know
Well I can tell ya I've never been in a relationship and I'm going out with this girl next week. I know what I'm getting into though with this girl as she will definitely accept me in the long term as a boyfriend. I don't suffer so much from social anxiety when it comes to being quiet with maybe the exception of meeting people for the first time or a job interview. My quietness more stems from the fact that I'm very very introverted and lack the quantity of social experience to maintain conversations over the long haul.
But anyways here is the point I want to make. I feel a girlfriend will definitely make someone who has never had one ever before happier at least for the short term. I know that's the case at least for me. However, over the long haul the lack of social life like me, will cause you to experience the possible and likely rejection in a relationship that will make you realize to be happy in this world is how you deal with rejection. Unfortunately we live in a society where everyone must experience disappointment and rejection at some point in our lives. How well we accept rejection and disappointment in our lives determines whether we are going to sink or swim. Obviously I don't consider myself sinking nor swimming, but I do know someone who is highly introverted that never hangs out with the 2 friends I do have I'm certainly not someone who is swimming, but at the same time I have a job which is something in life so I don't consider myself sinking either. That's why I think it's necessary to go out on as many dates as possible just to get experience so that it will give you if nothing else more material to share with future dates and more stories. I mean I have MAYBE enough material to talk about myself with someone for a first date. After that I'm screwed, but I still get to know someone else and that helps me for future dates because I have an experience to share.
But anyways here is the point I want to make. I feel a girlfriend will definitely make someone who has never had one ever before happier at least for the short term. I know that's the case at least for me. However, over the long haul the lack of social life like me, will cause you to experience the possible and likely rejection in a relationship that will make you realize to be happy in this world is how you deal with rejection. Unfortunately we live in a society where everyone must experience disappointment and rejection at some point in our lives. How well we accept rejection and disappointment in our lives determines whether we are going to sink or swim. Obviously I don't consider myself sinking nor swimming, but I do know someone who is highly introverted that never hangs out with the 2 friends I do have I'm certainly not someone who is swimming, but at the same time I have a job which is something in life so I don't consider myself sinking either. That's why I think it's necessary to go out on as many dates as possible just to get experience so that it will give you if nothing else more material to share with future dates and more stories. I mean I have MAYBE enough material to talk about myself with someone for a first date. After that I'm screwed, but I still get to know someone else and that helps me for future dates because I have an experience to share.
i had a friend, that happened to be a girl and when i was around her she made me feel really good. i felt confident, less anxious, and... happy. one time she came to visit me and my brother said i was a totally different person. but, sadly we are no longer friends i really do think she brought out the best in me... i'll never find someone like her again...never.
UnofficiallyMe
Banned
My paramour does help and hurt.. but hurting can mean growth.. I am not left alone enough and this makes my anxiety flare but my paramour pushes my up and out of my ruts... forces me into new situations, instead of just flopping at home..
Its different for everyone.. you are you and need what you need.. end of story.. what I need is not what you need, eh?
Its different for everyone.. you are you and need what you need.. end of story.. what I need is not what you need, eh?
sullyS25
Well-known member
Yes Im still with her and we are closer than ever even with her living in California and me being in Spain until June....Thank you for the advice.....Ive learned not to message them alot if they dont respond the hard way too! haha
NightTimeForever
Well-known member
I'm beginning to realize that my problems are more fundamental than getting a girlfriend, and it's likely that I'm just irredeemably screwed up.