My friends hate me

[Anxy]

My friends hate me, because I left them for another friend. Simply because I had much more in common with the other friend and felt a lot safer.

Today I realized how wrong I was... They didn't do anything to me after all, I shouldn't have left them. But I did.

Almost all my friend gathered round to talk. I was here to apologize to them, because as one friend said, it's cowardly to talk to someone through computer screen when you can meet them in real. Fair enough I guess...

Well, we met. I was so stressed out, all crying, and shaking and because of it one person said that I should just get over it and stop being so sensitive. I said it's because of my personality (they don't know I have SAD, I wonder if I should tell them). Of course, they didn't believe me. Same with me saying bad things about myself (alright I was a liar, a coward... and so on) - she said that I should stop pretending and being so miserable. She also said that I'm not looking into people's eyes (looking on the ground), having trouble saying things and I'm not gesticulating (which I never ever do anyway), so that makes me a liar.

I was apologizing to them for a few hours, but they said that I'm lying. They didn't believe a word I said. Also, one friend said that one day I looked into her eyes and said that they're primitive and I'm only with them to show off so people from my school think I'm not forever alone after all. I don't remember saying things like that... but they had better memory than me so I guess that maybe they're right. Of course, they didn't believe in my bad memory.

Only 2 out of 4 friends there kinda forgiving. The rest was shouting and seeming to be hateful, though saying that they will forgive me if the rest will. Still waiting for the other friends to come so they can decide whether they want to forgive me or not.

Guys, please tell me what should I do... I feel really bad for what I did. I wonder if this is a toxic relationship or not... after all they were always there for me, but their behavior towards me changed since I did this bad thing.

 

[Steiner]

I don't quite understand the situation. I am not sure what you should do. Hope it works out.

 

[Backandforth]

There seem to be some missing gaps in the story that are making it difficult for me to understand what transpired. So you left your original group of friends for another friend, but then you all agreed to talk about it. What did they think you were lying about? That you were sorry for becoming friends with another person?

2 out of 4 friends is better than 0 out of 4. Whatever happened, just realize that initially they are going to be upset with you. Ask yourself this: in a year, is any of that going to matter? If they're that upset with you after apologizing then it's their problem. You can get through this challenging period.

 

[Anxy]

I don't quite understand the situation. I am not sure what you should do. Hope it works out.

I'm sorry I was really tired while writing this. It's about me and my friends. I left them, because I wasn't really having much fun around them. They didn't do anything wrong to me, but I still decided to find another friend. I regret what I did.

I thought my old friends don't need me anyway, but suprisingly they really cared. I tried to explain the situation to them, but they said that I'm lying.

They said that I'm lying because I didn't remember calling them primitive and I didn't remember saying that I'm just being with them to show off I'm not alone to people from my school. But they told me I actually said that, though I can't believe it. But I have short term memory so that could happen. Anyways I said that I'm sorry for whatever I did.

I was really tired when talking to them, scared and couldn't think straight. But they said that these are just excuses.

2 of 4 friends that I was talking to said that they can forgive me if the rest will. I still have to wait for the next talk, because not all friends were present that day. Still I don't know if it's worth it, or not.

There seem to be some missing gaps in the story that are making it difficult for me to understand what transpired. So you left your original group of friends for another friend, but then you all agreed to talk about it. What did they think you were lying about? That you were sorry for becoming friends with another person?

2 out of 4 friends is better than 0 out of 4. Whatever happened, just realize that initially they are going to be upset with you. Ask yourself this: in a year, is any of that going to matter? If they're that upset with you after apologizing then it's their problem. You can get through this challenging period.

I'm sorry if it's difficult to understand, I was writing it in horrible mental state. But yes, you understood it good. They thought that I lied about everything - I was just trying to explain myself. But they didn't believe, because they were really dissapointed and lacking trust for me anymore. It's not about me having more friends, it's about completely forgetting old friends for the new one.

 

[Srijita52]

Are you sure you want to be with them? From what you've written, they seem like a bunch of self absorbed people to me. Of course I don't know the entire situation but if you feel somethings off between you and your friends, often there is something off.

 

[mismeek]

real friends forgive no matter what.

 

[jaim38]

If your friends hate you, then they're not friends. Who would want friends like these? I sure don't! So what if you left their group? Real friends let you come back anytime! I don't think you should apologize anymore. If they don't accept you, so be it! Plenty of better potential friends out there!

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

real friends forgive no matter what.

As a stand-alone statement, I disagree with this. If someone betrays me badly enough or does something otherwise completely unconscionable, I will dump them and not look back. I don't keep people in my life who turn out to be rotten.

 

[Anxy]

It's over now. They can't imagine talking with me anymore, neither I can. Maybe it's better that way. What hurts me the most though, is the fact that I made 7 people mad at me. SEVEN. I seriously wish I didn't do that, but I can't do anything right now. At least I don't know what to do... They forgave me anyway. Even if I meet them ever again, they will probably still be holding the grudge. I can't blame them though.

 

[Steiner]

It's over now. They can't imagine talking with me anymore, neither I can. Maybe it's better that way. What hurts me the most though, is the fact that I made 7 people mad at me. SEVEN. I seriously wish I didn't do that, but I can't do anything right now. At least I don't know what to do...

Hang out with the friend in which you abandoned your old friends for?

 

[Anxy]

Hang out with the friend in which you abandoned your old friends for?

I don't know if I should... maybe...

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Sounds like the kind of situation where you have to learn from your mistakes and move on

 

[AGR]

You shouldnt burn bridges if thats what you did,unless they were bad to you,anyway if you didnt insult them they should forgive you,I dont understand the drama,if they were guys they wouldnt give a shit who you were hanging out with :bigsmile:,unless it was an "enemy".......

 

[Anxy]

You shouldnt burn bridges if thats what you did,unless they were bad to you,anyway if you didnt insult them they should forgive you,I dont understand the drama,if they were guys they wouldnt give a shit who you were hanging out with :bigsmile:,unless it was an "enemy".......

They weren't bad to me. I kinda did insult them... because I said that I'm being with them just to show off to other people that I'm not a loner and I have friends. They did give a shit, I just didn't notice it. It's not about "oh, she has a new friend, let's stop the friendship!", it's about "she left us completely for another person". And yes, that person was kind of an enemy, but I still wanted to give this person a chance.

 

[Anxy]

It's all sorted out.