My first and only date

[Lestat88]

It doesn't matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to find a girlfriend.
And I'd desperately want to have one.
It's not a question of sex. It's a question of finding someone willing to go beyond appearances, willing to love me and accept me as I am.
I'm 23 years old, I'm extremely shy, and I suffer from palmar hyperhidrosis.
This is the story of my first and only date.

Last year I tried internet dating for the first time. I thought it could be a nice way of getting to know someone without them knowing about my disease. I managed to find a girl I actually had a few interests in common with, and started talking with her. We kept the conversation going for 3 months before deciding to meet. I was quite happy to find someone who was interested in me.
Winter. Saturday afternoon. Temperature: 2°C.
I arrived at the park at 2.00 pm. We actually had to meet at 2.30, but I wanted to make sure to be there, no matter what. I even brought with me a box of chocolates, thinking it might make a nice gift.
At 2.30 I sit on a bench, waiting for her.
Time passed...
3.30. There was still no sign of her. It started raining, and I took out my umbrella. I already knew how it would end, but I told myself to keep waiting. Maybe there'd been a problem with her bus, maybe something had happened to her brother. Maybe I was just making up excuses...
...
4.30. I started sneezing but the rain had stopped... only to be replaced by snow. But I was still there. I didn't want to give up. I would have given up an arm just to have someone who cared about me. I was foolishly hoping for a miracle...
...
5.30. Still snowing. I was the only person left in the park. I'd tried my best to hold back the tears, but there was no point anymore. I was alone. That day, just like every other day of my life, nobody cared.

I threw away the box of chocolates, and went back home. A few minutes later, the snow had stopped.

 

[LifeInternal88]

Aww sorry about that.

Did you chat to her after that ? What was her reason for not coming ?

I think she's very rude tho, so don't give up. I mean if she didn't want to come or was too shy or scared to, she shouldn't have agreed to meet up.

 

[DevC]

You need something else to focus on other then Trying to get a relationship. I know its hard as I felt the same way, but I started focusing on my hobby, hanging with friends, and was feeling content being single. That's when I met the girl I'm dating now. Except girlfriends are not all sunshine and lollipops, I fight a lot of pointless paranoia.

 

[Waybuloo]

People can do this to anybody, it's not because you are not worthy of her attention. I do think standing somebody up is the height of bad manners. If I can't meet someone due to nerves or whatever reason, I would never not tell them. I think for me to do what she did, I'd have to have no respect for people.

I can't say there's any problem on your part, I mean you talked for 3 months and if she agreed to meet then there was nothing you did that turned her away, as far as she let on. I think if I were you, I'd sever my emotional ties with her completely, but with a final task of getting an answer from her as to why she didn't turn up and why she didn't contact you. I'd say that you've managed to get out of a potentially hurtful relationship, because she'll probably stand you up constantly and you'd never feel secure.

 

[coyote]

are you sure you had the right park?

did you contact her to find out what happened?

 

[Iluv]

This made me really sad. ::
You sound like a nice and genuine guy who didn't deserve to be stood up.
Is there anyway you can contact her and ask?
Perhaps Coyote is on to something, you might have got the park wrong or even date and time.
It happens but it's best to ask her directly.

 

[Golden Beam]

Hey man its ok, don't let that one experience get you down so much that you stop trying. Who knows, maybe the next girl won't be frightened to actually show up. Assuming you do not want to keep persuing the aforementioned non-show gal. If you do find her to be non-responsive, just let her be. It usually works best that way.

I'm not sure if meeting at a park in 2 degree weather is the best place for a first date anyway, just an observation.

 

[Boby]

I had to think for quite some time if I read or not your thread because I felt it was a sad one :: .Anyway I read it and it was indeed sad but what I have to say is: Don't give up,dude!!And this comes from somebody who never had a gf! So get up and try again!

 

[dyingtolive]

That sucks dude

Maybe something really came up or the girl had issues with herself, and its not really your fault,

Hope you feel better man

 

[MikeyC]

I think there's more to the story. Something happened to her, I reckon. Sorry it didn't work out, either way. ::

 

[Kiwong]

Did you ask her what happened? Something may have happened for her not to make it.

I feel your sadness. Don't give up, try again.

 

[Lestat88]

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who answered to my post. I didn't think that so many people would actually be interested in reading it.
After the events of that Saturday, I tried to contact her to ask her the reason why she didn't show up, only to discover that, for reasons I can't quite figure out, she had blocked my profile.
I don't even have her phone number, so I have no ways to contact her. Still, I can't understand why she would do that. Like LifeInternal88 said, if she didn't want to meet me, she shouldn't have agreed to meet up in the first place.
I'm sure I got the park right, for the simple reason that I was the one suggesting to meet there, and she had told me she knew where it was. As for the date and time, I'm sure I got them right too, because I still have her message saying "this Saturday at 2.30 pm".
I'm afraid I'll never know her reason for not coming, and for blocking my profile...
Still, I won't give up on finding a girlfriend. Finding love is very important to me, and I hope, eventually, to find the right girl to be happy with. After what I had to go through in the past, I think I'd deserve some happiness.
Thank you very much for your support.

 

[MikeyC]

I'm not sure why she blocked your profile. That seems really random. Hopefully you have better luck next time.

 

[Waybuloo]

Actually, I'm glad to have said what I said before, looks like she's even worse than not turning up. Blocking someone for no reason after agreeing to meet and not turning up is showing utter disregard. I hope she gets treated the same way by other people.

There is no point in finding out what she thought because you don't want to place any importance on an opinion of such a person for gauging your own self worth.

 

[CyclingSoPhob]

It sounds like someone got cold feet literally. That's still a pretty crappy way to leave someone out in the park to freeze and then to make matters worse by blocking you. Hang in there dude and give it another shot with a different girl. Since it's internet dating you'll probably have to keep your hopes low as most females get overloaded with potential dates. Do your best and don't limit your options outside of online dating.

 

[MentalyBlind]

dude the first "date" i went on i got mugged and beat up and when i was bloody and down she said i was a loser and walked away. so yea i'll trade you.

this was in Toronto ..yea she didn't do it 2 guys did lol

 

[drganon]

You have my sympathy. That girl was a real b**ch for doing that to you.

 

[schist]

dude the first "date" i went on i got mugged and beat up and when i was bloody and down she said i was a loser and walked away. so yea i'll trade you.

That's disgusting.

 

[MentalyBlind]

yea tell me about it <.< So i moved out of the city and moved to a small town.

 

[ありがとう]

That's so sad It was really sweet of you to wait around that long too. My heart goes out for you. Things like this happens in online dating a lot and even in proper relationships! The people you're fond of might not turn out to be what you think. Just be glad it happened sooner than later I guess. I hope she gets treated the same **** you went through too.