I would of used a stonger word instead of monster but i dont think swearing is allowed of the forum. :S
Anyway point is my dad makes me feel like crap. Espesh recently. Its worse when hes drunk because then he says what hes really thinking.
For e.g i went to bed early yesterday because i had been up all night. I suffer from insomnia so i was awake all night and day and had to go to bed early i was exahuasted. Anyway my dad came into my room and started to make fun of me and he said in a really weired, nasty patronizing voice , 'Aww its a shame isnt it? Thats all you live for.. the telly, food then bed. Aww its a real shame because you havnt got a life.' Then he just walked out. It was the most horrible thing ever and i felt worthless and then just bursted out crying and then eventually fell asleep. :
: Worst thing is i KNOW he meant it.
And today just then after coming in from the pub suprise suprise! He asked me 'did you cry when you went out today?' I said no because i didnt then he tried to put me down once more by basically slaggin me and my mum off because we got the wrong food from the supermarket! And he never goes.
I dont know why my mum puts up with it. Shes such a doormat its sad. When me and my sister were little we were nervous as anything because of him. I thought though it was just normal to be scared every now and then of your parents.
My nanna and grandad arnt fond of him either. He always used to mock my mums side of the family and embarrass her at family gatherings when i was a baby which i just found out from my mum.
Hes been ok for the last few months. Still he insulted me but it hasnt been this bad. And ive always blamed my social anxiety on myself but now im starting to think is there more to it after all these years,
I want to leave home i cant take it anymore. I cant speak to anyone. My sister is leaving at the end of this year for university. She cant stand my dad either.
I started to fight back though, just then. I asked him did he cry whilst he was in the PUB all day with all the wasters. Usually though if i do it too much i'll get hit.
What do i do now?
Should i leave home?