emre43
Well-known member
I say this out of kindness...prepare yourself.....it's tough love.....quite tough but only becasue I care.
1) You have built her up to be your dream woman, she is not perfect, you saw her for an hour a week? That is not enough to get to know someone (dont argue that with me just listen) Its not. Its didn't happen and its not going to.
2) There are plenty of girls out there who do not present themselves like that. You will never meet any of them with your current attitude. While you're busy obsessing over this counsellor (who isn't who you think she is-you only know her in her professional capacity and btw she could have been doing it for work experience shes young she needs a placement to get a job she needs experience. Lots of people volunteer this way shes not a saint. She did it for herself.And She was obviously inexperiened or she would have nipped this in the bud)
3) This is obsession. You can not deny it. If this was your ex-gf it would be also be obsession and unhealthy, You need to let go and move on. There are bigger things in life than romance. There are bigger problems in life. (While I realise that to you this is a huge problem, trust me there are worse)
I know I'm being hard on you but it's because I've followed this thread in the hope that you'll wake up, I tried nicey nicey and I just fed your misery, you need to let go. You need to be shaken up and really see this.
STOP TRING TO PROVE ITS REAL LOVE AND CONSIDER THAT ITS NOT AND YOU ARE MISSING OUT WHILE YOU'RE BUSY OBSESSING AND TRYING TO CONVINCE US IT IS. JUST CONSIDER THAT IT IS NOT.
Now life goes on. And believe me it does.
Thank you for you help, I really do appreciate it and I understand that I am probably being annoying, with keep reviving this thread. I totally understand where you are coming from and I agree with you on a lot of what you have said; I'm big enough and ugly enough to accept it.
Believe me when I say that I have tried to get over her. I thought I had for about a month or so, but eventually the feelings keep coming back; I just find it so difficult to forget her. There are comments that you have made in the past that have helped me but like I said above the feelings keep coming back.
She is probably the most important person to have ever entered my life in terms of the help she provided me; my anxiety has improved immensely. Prior to seeing her she was everything that I had ever wanted in a woman and I thought didn't exist anymore. I didn't have to build her up in any way. I suppose the feelings are enhanced when you are sat in front of a beautiful young Greek woman and letting her into your most personal, private and intimate thoughts and knowing that she is the only person who has ever really listened to you; it has a strong effect.
She's the only girl that I have ever felt comfortable talking to; I just don't know how to talk to them. She was so softly spoken, which I found endearing and she brought something out of me that gave me the ability to make conversation with her and I did make conversation with her every week outside of our sessions.
I have seen two counsellors since and I feel that I am being pushed by them. She gave me time and space to do things in my own time and that was perfect for my situation. She was on a placement but I respect her for wanting to do something productive with her life. With her looks she could have got a job anywhere.
I am not denying that it is obsession either; nor have I anywhere. Also, I apologise for my ignorance but I am not sure what you mean when you say it is not 'real love'. It is definitely love as I am the one feeling and experiencing it. Obviously she didn't love me but I never expected her to. It is the only time that I have ever felt it; please don't take that away from me.
I find it really difficult to make these posts and tell other people in the real world about this and get my thoughts and feelings across about this because nobody seems to understand; I'm not having a pop, it's just a really difficult situation for me.
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