most girls dislike me

[Megaten]

It's so interesting how for so many men on this site the main source of anxiety, the main point of focus, is that strange alien known as a female (if you'd believe their accounts of us anyway! Countless threads on this site of women being spoken about like a completely separate species).

I mean it's not generally likewise is it :question: For women it's.. well, kind of everything else! Emotions, family, self opinion...

It's only such a hot button issue because a lot of guys with social phobias tend to have lives completely devoid of romantic love. Which can utterly consume your thoughts and eat away at any hope of self esteem unless dealt with. Unfortunately a lot of times we have to take the reins when it comes to dating so unless a dude fights through his phobia, he could very easily go a long time without intimacy. Hell I didnt get my first kiss until my 30s and it ate away at my brain. Sorry though if it comes across like all guys are just sex/dating obsessed though because Im sure thats not intentional.

 

[Opaline]

Ah don't think Bronson's comment was meant to be taken seriously, Opaline.

Sorry if it wasn't

 

[Bronson99]

Ah don't think Bronson's comment was meant to be taken seriously, Opaline.

Correct.

But I'd still be lying if I said it didn't make me envious/angry a bit, when I see a couple doing the "public affection" thing.

 

[Bronson99]

It's only such a hot button issue because a lot of guys with social phobias tend to have lives completely devoid of romantic love. Which can utterly consume your thoughts and eat away at any hope of self esteem unless dealt with. Unfortunately a lot of times we have to take the reins when it comes to dating so unless a dude fights through his phobia, he could very easily go a long time without intimacy. Hell I didnt get my first kiss until my 30s and it ate away at my brain. Sorry though if it comes across like all guys are just sex/dating obsessed though because Im sure thats not intentional.

I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head, there!

 

[Graeme1988]

Correct.

But I'd still be lying if I said it didn't make me envious/angry a bit, when I see a couple doing the "public affection" thing.

Aye, ah know... I kinda feel the same way. Or, at least, more envious than angry.

 

[jayfan]

can relate. i only have ugly girls after me for hookups and relationships. cant seem to find anyone who i actually am interested in to hook up with me. it sucks. i have two kids that i take care of full time. broke single fathers arent exactly looked highly upon. im below average looking as well.
I get so many cold shoulders from females.

 

[ONline87_15793]

my solution? avoid them at all costs.




...it WORKS.


its not that I CANT talk to girls its just that they always seem to dislike me so I'd just rather avoid them because I know they're just going to be rude and bitchy if I try to talk to them....so basically my solution is "oh well...**** it"

you can also spend the time that you use to talk with them to improve yourself!

 

[theslowesthand]

One advantage of not having the opposite sex not all that interested in me, is that instead of being free and independent, I could very well be an unhappily married or divorced man, with ungrateful children, and no time to myself. Perhaps things worked out for the best

Thats the way i look at it as well

That IS a good way to look at it but still its kind of a double-edged sword...iv tried to convince myself to have that exact mindset your talking about and most of the time it works/makes me feel better...except for when its like christmas eve and I'm shopping for groceries by myself or doing some menial errand and I see a couple out of the corner of my eye and they're publicly nuzzling....then I just get depressed.....or like when I'm forced to interact with a female and she's acts like a snobby little bitch to me for no reason....at times like that my whole "don't give a ****" logic doesn't really work and i just get terrible pangs of sadness....it just seems like my best option is avoiding girls/women

Thats true about the double-edged sword. I typically find myself swinging wildly from one extreme to the other .. form being kinda thankful i dont have all that relatinship drama, which i'm sure would be FAR too much for me to "handle" emotionally-wise (ie i'm unsure how my insecurities/issues/temper/etc would fare) ... to feeling a sense of deep injustice, almost sub-surface rage, at my never having had even one "relationship" with a woman, in spite of a few almost-maybe's, & the odd for-sure's.
And for some unknown reason, my thoughts/feelings about women right now are pretty much driving me "crazy".

 

[theslowesthand]

you can't exactly avoid half of the population

I almost manage it. The only woman i usually see regularly is my mother. Other than her, i'd be "lucky" to come across any other female homo-sapiens from between one to a few months.

 

[theslowesthand]

Any guy can get a girl. You don't have to be ambitious.. being employed will always help, but I've even heard of unemployed guys in relationships. You don't have to look great, either.

You just need to 1) take care of yourself a bit, 2) start loosening the grip social anxiety has on you.

That's it

IS THAT ALL there is to it??? lol

Any guy EXCEPT ME can get a girl. I'm the SINGLE excepption to the rule. But then again, i've always done my own thing, obeyed my own rules/whims, disregarded societies rules/ways/mores...

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

It's so interesting how for so many men on this site the main source of anxiety, the main point of focus, is that strange alien known as a female

Loneliness and anxiety go hand in hand, often times helping create or exacerbate the other.

 

[theslowesthand]

I think women are attracted to guys who are confident and comfortable within themselves (I'm speaking generally).
having SA, it's likely you don't come across as confident and comfortable.
If you're not willing or can't change your SA, your only other option is to get rich! :lol:

Women like money

I've got about zero confidence. And even if i did become rich, i have a sneaking suspicion that i'd use it to "tease" women, all the while rejecting all advances due to the money (don't ask me why)

 

[Bronson99]

IS THAT ALL there is to it??? lol

Any guy EXCEPT ME can get a girl. I'm the SINGLE excepption to the rule. But then again, i've always done my own thing, obeyed my own rules/whims, disregarded societies rules/ways/mores...

That's all there is to it. Break down the barriers preventing you from liking yourself fully and/or expressing confidence... that's most of the equation right there.

 

[Halym]

Girls dislike me too.... I don't know why but when I try to approach them or talk to them, they make theses weird faces and ignore me... So, I don't even look at them..

 

[nina79]

I don't think this is true.

There are all kinds of things that make people attractive. Adventure, humor, warmth, compassion, drama, physical appearance, style, thoughtfulness, sensitivity, etc.

But if you have nothing in your life, don't care to find anything, and think that everyone including yourself is shallow, stupid, selfish and not worth the effort, then you're not going to make a good impression.

And believe it or not a lot of women and people in general would rather be poor than stuck with someone who doesn't make them happy but buys them lots of stuff. Though it is pretty difficult to be happy when you can't afford to do anything.

I totally agree. I married for love, not money. The right people can be found. It's easier now that the internet is here, you can find people online with like minds. Find a woman who feels like no guys like her!! Match made in heaven <3

 

[R3K]

if you're not socially vibrant, and you don't have a clique of cool dude friends who wear suits and watch football at sports bars and have cool haircuts, all girls are always gonna think you're a creepy perv.

 

[Requiescat]

Here's something to pinder: Most people aren't interested in most people. In other words, every individual on Earth is either disliked or flat out ignored by the rest of humanity. And I mean every individual, even celebrities. So what to do once you realise that? You need to find your own niche, figure out where those people are found. And you will know that when you know yourself better. So it's best to stop superimposing yourself on incompatible types of people. There is someone out there for everyone, I assure you that you are not so unique that no woman on Earth can relate to you on any level. You aren't from Mars! And I can honestly say I have never seen a person who I thought was genuinely ugly.

 

[Bronson99]

if you're not socially vibrant, and you don't have a clique of cool dude friends who wear suits and watch football at sports bars and have cool haircuts, all girls are always gonna think you're a creepy perv.

Not very helpful, and not true, either.

Maybe some extroverted j-erks might think these things, but I assure you most women will not pass this judgment on shy men.