men/women/weight issues-*may be offensive to some* Apology in advance

[cowboyup]

I've been reading the responses. Very interesting. You all look at both sides of the coin.

So, here's the deal - I talked with my SIL because this struck a cord in her as she is a school counselor and the work she does with the kids focuses on bullying issues, self-esteem, body image, etc. so needless to say she got an earful.

Update: SIL talked more in depth with a few the people because she was wanting to put together a lesson plan. Well, according to the people she talked to, boys (age range teenage to early 30's) would tell their girlfriend "hey, if you gain weight other than the monthly fluctuation, I will break up with you"
That is what one person said that her daughter's boyfriend said to her. This is the basic statement coming from others as well. The 40 lb weight gain was an exaggeration (sorry I was misinformed on that one). It was "if the girlfriend gained 10-15 lbs they would consider breaking up with the girl. What time frame, I don't know.
The boys explanations were that they felt the girl would be considered lazy if she didn't keep her appearances up while dating, and they didn't want to be seen with a person who is over 110 lbs (that was the average weight SIL and I calculated with average height of 5'5")

Now, given that information, I would say the guys may be shallow at first thought. I understand WE ALL have preferences in what we like and do not like. Food, people, genre of movies, hairstyle, color of hair, etc...the list is pretty much endless.

According to SIL, these incidents are not health motivated.

The girls are compliant and the guys seem to like to boast that they even had some past girlfriends who were so afraid to gain even a pound in fear the guy would leave.

The parents (who, by the way, are also teachers) sound concerned but don't know really what to think and hope it doesn't lead into eating disorder.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Generally speaking, women are judged on their appearance more than men. Men are judged on height and their wallet more than women. What can you do? :idontknow:

 

[cowboyup]

Generally speaking, women are judged on their appearance more than men. Men are judged on height and their wallet more than women. What can you do? :idontknow:

LOL, ya know, I think you may have summed it up - Just.Like.That

 

[Flanscho]

this is crazy!, just men trying to rule of woman

You know what you achieve with saying nonsense like "evil men trying to oppress poor women"? All you achieve is that you widen the gap between men and women. You fight against equality.

 

[jc972]

My wife looks like she did when she was 16 even after two children. And I love the way she looks because she ain't real skinny, she's curvy. I was always more attracted to curvy girls. I would never dump a girl over gaining weight-if you care about a person you stand by them. I pay more attention to personality too. I'm the one that's gained the weight in my marriage, in muscle thugh, and I've gained 80 pounds. I'm not skinny but I'm not fat, kinda in between somewhere. I started lifting weights and jogging at 17 because I was about to get a job as a fireman and I wanted to be stronger. I can lift and carry my own body weight and I normally do 50 pushups every day before work with my two kids sitting on my back, then another 150 without them. Then I do 200 sit ups. I'm not into body building or insane workouts, just being healthy.

 

[Odo]

I have to admit, I could never be interested in someone who was morbidly obese… a little chubby is actually pretty hot. Some girls aren't so lucky with where their body stores fat, but they can still compensate for this by being charming or interesting or something… and as long as they're active and trying to get strong, I still have all the respect in the world for them.

I only really have a problem when they're not trying and they're getting to the point where they're actually physically limited by their weight. Maybe they are a really nice person with a great heart, interesting to talk to, etc... but if someone is physically incapable of walking for 10 minutes without needing to take a rest, then how are they supposed to keep up with me when I go jogging? How are they supposed to go hiking or camping with me? I'm not going to spend the rest of my life not doing the things I enjoy doing because I have to stop and rest every 20 minutes or so…

And the thing is-- for a lot people out there who are really big, they could easily lose the weight if they tried. Just carrying that much weight from one place to another would probably burn off a lot of calories… but they drive everywhere, don't exercise, don't try to change anything, and they let how fat they are control their entire life. Some people have a legitimate issue, but I really don't think it's as common as some people want to believe it is. If you're fat and don't exercise, then it wouldn't take much to shed those pounds-- if you're huge, then you probably already have enormous muscles from just having to haul around all of that extra weight.

So yeah, I can't feel at all sorry for you if you're not even trying and then getting angry at other people for judging you… that's actually triple repulsive-- once for the fat, once for the lack of effort, and once for the blaming others for your own problems.

 

[selon]

Wooah I think you should watch some documentaries about the causes of obesity.. I'm not fat myself (though I wouldnt mind losing some weight) but I think your attitude is pretty insulting! Try growing up in a family that cannot afford anything else than Mac Donalds!!

So yeah, I can't feel at all sorry for you if you're not even trying and then getting angry at other people for judging you… that's actually triple repulsive-- once for the fat, once for the lack of effort, and once for the blaming others for your own problems.