Loyal's Thoughts

Oh my Gooooooowwwwd! I don't come in for a little while and I miss all the fun, doh. :oops:

*goes back over all the missed posts*

Good grief Fountain & Pug!!!!! your posts over the last 2 pages have me rotflmao! 🤣
Awwwww, that was so kind of you both to try and help ease Loyal's anxiety, while she was waiting to see the Doc. I'd give both of you Big Bear Hugs - if I knew you in real life.

Whoa Loyal, that is great news that you are able to have children - if you decide you want to.
That is life changing, for you! (y) 🤩

You are never going to hear the end of the wink wink/nudge nudge's from your mother now.
The "Grandmother DNA" is relentless when it is activated - the flood gates have now been opened, lol. 😂
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
So I head to your place Loyal.. and We have dinner...

When... Loyal gets right to the point..

Kinda scared me... the knife thing..so..
Loyal felt like she came on too strong...



So she invited fountain over to get his opinion on things...



He asked if any dinner was left...



She said they ate it all...



So he hung up...



!

Welp.. guess Im back to square one

 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Oh my Gooooooowwwwd! I don't come in for a little while and I miss all the fun, doh. :oops:

*goes back over all the missed posts*

Good grief Fountain & Pug!!!!! your posts over the last 2 pages have me rotflmao! 🤣
Awwwww, that was so kind of you both to try and help ease Loyal's anxiety, while she was waiting to see the Doc. I'd give both of you Big Bear Hugs - if I knew you in real life.

Whoa Loyal, that is great news that you are able to have children - if you decide you want to.
That is life changing, for you! (y) 🤩

You are never going to hear the end of the wink wink/nudge nudge's from your mother now.
The "Grandmother DNA" is relentless when it is activated - the flood gates have now been opened, lol. 😂
They've had me rotflmao too :LOL::LOL:

and it really is life changing. My immediate future doesnt hold kids much to my mothers disappointment (I mean I live in half a garage where exactly does she expect me to keep the baby!?) but after uni I can actually look at various options of where I want my life to go, and for once it includes the possibility of kids (Im only 28 so I have some time)
 
(I mean I live in half a garage where exactly does she expect me to keep the baby!?)
well you keep a baby in the 2nd or 3rd drawer of your desk.. or dresser.. that way its always close by and handy. (Geez.. some people have no idea..*rolls eyes*)


I see you will need plenty of help and guidance once your baby arrives Loyal. But you can rest easy knowing you can always ask me for sound advice.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
well you keep a baby in the 2nd or 3rd drawer of your desk.. or dresser.. that way its always close by and handy. (Geez.. some people have no idea..*rolls eyes*)


I see you will need plenty of help and guidance once your baby arrives Loyal. But you can rest easy knowing you can always ask me for sound advice.
But my drawers are full!? I suppose the laundry sink on the other side of the garage could work? :unsure:
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member


Accurate representation of my mood today. Between all these doctors appointments, and errands and family things I havent had a chance to rest at all this uni break and now my first week of uni break is gone (technically only got two weeks because I skipped that one class I would have had this week). I have one week left, and already my monday/tuesday/and wednesday are all full of appointments and errands. Which means I have only 5 days til uni is back on, and in those days I have a whole list of cleaning and uni work to get done. At most I might get one day to rest at the end of it all but im bloody exhausted now just from the stress of having to have gone out so much so a chance of one day at the end is more like a spit in the face.

Guess a part of the grumps is also the fact that the meds arent working, or working very very slowly, so Im not even getting a break from that crap either.

Im just so tired and all I want to do is sleep and rest and play video games. Im tired of uni, and errands and appointments and all that crap. I just want a couple months to myself to retreat and recuperate a bit.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Welp, its friday evening and Im back at Uni on Monday. I have done literally nothing on my list of uni work, and practically nothing on my cleaning list (I say practically because I've done a couple things but they are already due to be done again, or will be by Sunday). At least yesterday/today I technically got some rest, though it doesnt feel restful because im stressing the whole time about what I should be doing (and yet not actually able to get off my ass and do the damn things I should be doing!)

Im so drained, physically and emotionally, with this stupid medical issue and all these doctors tests and appointments so my already practically non existent motivation is absent.

I still have to book three more appointments with doctors, plus am awaiting the ultrasound results (which I should find out sometime next week around uni classes). I shouldve called to book those appointments today but Im just so overwhelmed and with uni starting back up I gotta focus on that shit first coz thats got due dates whereas the doctors are technically more flexible timetable wise. I think it would be easier if I only had to focus on one thing. Uni or the medical stuff. Having both at the same time is more than my stupid anxious brain can manage apparently..

Ugh. I just feel like im trying to survive on empty. So much to do and zero motiviation/ability to make myself do it. So instead im doing fuck all and just getting more stressed and somehow more drained.

 
Welp, its friday evening and Im back at Uni on Monday. I have done literally nothing on my list of uni work, and practically nothing on my cleaning list (I say practically because I've done a couple things but they are already due to be done again, or will be by Sunday). At least yesterday/today I technically got some rest, though it doesnt feel restful because im stressing the whole time about what I should be doing (and yet not actually able to get off my ass and do the damn things I should be doing!)

Im so drained, physically and emotionally, with this stupid medical issue and all these doctors tests and appointments so my already practically non existent motivation is absent.

I still have to book three more appointments with doctors, plus am awaiting the ultrasound results (which I should find out sometime next week around uni classes). I shouldve called to book those appointments today but Im just so overwhelmed and with uni starting back up I gotta focus on that shit first coz thats got due dates whereas the doctors are technically more flexible timetable wise. I think it would be easier if I only had to focus on one thing. Uni or the medical stuff. Having both at the same time is more than my stupid anxious brain can manage apparently..

Ugh. I just feel like im trying to survive on empty. So much to do and zero motiviation/ability to make myself do it. So instead im doing fuck all and just getting more stressed and somehow more drained.


Sorry to read you are feeling overwhelmed and unable to find the much needed motivation to get things done, Loyal. :(

I know it is of course easier said then done, but try hard to just break each day down, into manageable segments.
At least that might help to ease the pressure in your mind a bit, and therefore aid in decreasing it's constant draining of all your energy?

Do you get a lot of iron in your diet?
Increasing your iron levels can give you a boost of energy.
You should buy yourself some iron tablets. I assume you don't have the time or energy to cook yourself up a few dinners with beef? - one of the best sources of natural iron.

(If you happen to be a Vegetarian, please disregard the beef suggestion! 😊)
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Sorry to read you are feeling overwhelmed and unable to find the much needed motivation to get things done, Loyal. :(

I know it is of course easier said then done, but try hard to just break each day down, into manageable segments.
At least that might help to ease the pressure in your mind a bit, and therefore aid in decreasing it's constant draining of all your energy?

Do you get a lot of iron in your diet?
Increasing your iron levels can give you a boost of energy.
You should buy yourself some iron tablets. I assume you don't have the time or energy to cook yourself up a few dinners with beef? - one of the best sources of natural iron.

(If you happen to be a Vegetarian, please disregard the beef suggestion! 😊)
One of the things the doc has told me is to increase the iron in my diet, I hate cooking for myself and because I share dads kitchen theres rarely room for my own stuff so I mostly eat his food/ easy meal type things (mi goreng, cereal, etc). So iron tablets are actually on my shopping list.

Im trying to remind myself that technically cleaning has no real deadline (with the exception of things like dog water bowls) and so its ok that I dont do the cleaning on time. But I just get so frustrated with myself. I know I should be doing stuff and I want to get it done but I struggle so much with it it infuriates me.

 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Well guess who not only did nothing on the list, but also didnt go to class...Yup .. Turns out I woke yesterda with a horrible migraine that didnt go away, theres still a lingering headache today, which is partly why I skipped todays class as well, though that was also because I feel rather emotionally fragile today and Im not sure why, I keep feeling like im going to bust out crying but I cant figure out what the trigger is. Im chalking it up to lingering headache and stress but who knows..

Tomorrow I dont have classes but I do have yet another doctor appointment, I'll be getting those ultrasound results.. Hopefully we'll finally have some answers - and a damn plan to fix shit
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Welp. Results came back as expected, next step is some heavier meds, more tests (oh yay) and I've been referred to a specialist.

Theres also some very serious family stuff going down, which I'm quite concerned about, and of course I havent done anything on my goddamned list yet so feeling quite stressed all round...

However, on the flip side of things, I got early birthday money from my grandma and treated myself to some new games (preowned sales are the best) I got Kingdom Hearts the story so far (essentially all the kingdom hearts games in two discs, aside from KH3), Kingdom Hearts 3, and Fallout 4. None of which I am allowed to play until the holidays because I gotta try and make myself do some damn uni work
 
Theres also some very serious family stuff going down, which I'm quite concerned about, and of course I havent done anything on my goddamned list yet so feeling quite stressed all round...

Oh no, serious family issues is the last thing you need on top of everything else you're trying to cope with! Ergh. :(
Do the family members involved know how much you are struggling atm, and their "stuff" could be affecting you in a negative way?
Geez, it seems all families have their own torment going on at the moment.
I wonder if everyone is more emotional, angry, frustrated and stressed, because of continually increasing living costs/job struggles? Everyone seems to be stuck working longer hours, for less pay.

Everyday-life seems to getting harder and more stressful, year after year for everyone - just in different ways.
People and therefore whole families, are fraying at the edges and struggling to keep it all together. 😟
 

Miserum

Well-known member
Welp. Results came back as expected, next step is some heavier meds, more tests (oh yay) and I've been referred to a specialist.

Theres also some very serious family stuff going down, which I'm quite concerned about, and of course I havent done anything on my goddamned list yet so feeling quite stressed all round...

However, on the flip side of things, I got early birthday money from my grandma and treated myself to some new games (preowned sales are the best) I got Kingdom Hearts the story so far (essentially all the kingdom hearts games in two discs, aside from KH3), Kingdom Hearts 3, and Fallout 4. None of which I am allowed to play until the holidays because I gotta try and make myself do some damn uni work

There's a thought that has been on my mind lately: Tough times don't last. Tough people do.

Get after it.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Oh no, serious family issues is the last thing you need on top of everything else you're trying to cope with! Ergh. :(
Do the family members involved know how much you are struggling atm, and their "stuff" could be affecting you in a negative way?
Geez, it seems all families have their own torment going on at the moment.
I wonder if everyone is more emotional, angry, frustrated and stressed, because of continually increasing living costs/job struggles? Everyone seems to be stuck working longer hours, for less pay.

Everyday-life seems to getting harder and more stressful, year after year for everyone - just in different ways.
People and therefore whole families, are fraying at the edges and struggling to keep it all together. 😟
They do, but the situation isnt one that can be put aside or avoided. In short something happened and the fallout is really bad and may become even worse. Technically it doesnt affect me except that a family member is suffering and in a really bad place (like suicide risk level bad). So its not something that can be kept from me coz it may become worse and I'd be furious that no-one had prepared me for it. Just a really shitty situation in which theres next to nothing that we can do about it aside from try and be there for the family member who its directly happening to.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
ugh. its 5:41pm and I have a 2000 word criminology essay to write by 12pm tomorrow (which I havent remotely started) but since I have class tomorrow I technically need it done by 11am tomorrow. Looks like im pulling an all nighter tonight o_O:cry::LOL:




This will be me tomorrow
 
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