Loyal's Thoughts

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Really struggling with motivation.. I have so much to do, including an assignment thats due this week and I havent started on any of it.. not the cleaning or the uni work..

 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
I got some of the minor uni work done, but havent started on the assignment thats due on thursday or the prepping for another assignment (prepping is also due thursday in class). I did 3 other things on my list of uni work stuff so hopefully tomorrow I can do the rest and maybe even clean
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Assignment due tomorrow... Smashed it out in a few hours, and did two loads of washing, the dishes and the dog waters (scrubbing their water buckets and the big shell pool they have)

Actually had a productive few hours.. of course now im tired and drained but I got stuff done so im counting it as a win even though emotionally I feel crappy
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
skipped uni today. It was going to be a relatively pointless class this week coz he was gonna do one on ones with the students to make sure they're thinking about the first assignment which is due in two weeks. I dont work in that way (I do everything in one go, usually at last minute) so I wouldve sat there all lesson (potentially 3 to 4 hours depending on how he would be going through the students) waiting and doing nothing... So I dont feel too guilty about missing it. I slept so badly last night and feel sore and exhausted and sick today so I really wasnt up to it. Plus I feel rather emotionally drained today, very melancholy and im not too sure what (if anything) triggered it.

All in all I wasnt up to class physically or emotionally today and it was going to be a pointless class anyway. So I stayed home and slept. I feel a little better for sleeping but still pretty out of it. Tomorrow and the weekend will be for cleaning and uni work and grocery shopping. Today is for rest. I need it
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
So yesterday I managed to sleep through my alarm and completely miss my class, because I'd skipped last weeks class of it I've now used up all the absences I can have for photography which is really frustrating. I also have an assignment for it due next lesson which I havent started but have to do this weekend, along with work on a few other things for uni, and hopefully get some damn cleaning done.. But of course I spent most of today sleeping and getting fuck all done.. ugh I'm just so damn tired and not motivated lately that everything feels like even more of a struggle than usual (not that im usually much better, but it just feels harder lately)

Doesnt help that tomorrow is the day Gabe should've been turning 46. I've been feeling the loss rather heavily again, didnt pay attention to the date so it feels like it snuck up on me and now I just feel sad and lost
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
All in all I wasnt up to class physically or emotionally today
wasnt up to class again today. I really gotta try and go to the doctors soon because this stupid issue isnt going away and im just so weak and tired. I havent had the strength to do much at all lately. I have an essay due in two days that I'm going to have to write tomorrow because I've only been awake for 2 hours today and I already need sleep again. havent even been able to post much on here lately coz I just dont have it in me. I've been reading and liking, but just havent been able to reply much.. still around though, just lurking until im a bit better
 
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