Love

[Luna1740]

Back story: I hadn't seen this girl in about 2 years and I called her up, and it turned out that we had both moved within 15 minutes of each other which is crazy, because we are both over 800 miles from home. So she came over on friday and spent the night, and it was by far the happiest night of my life. And now she is moving again across the country, so there is no real hope for a relationship.

I am in love. And I thought I'd been before, but this is different, this is like, she makes all of my anxiety go away, she makes all of my sadness go away. All that I want in the world is to watch her smile. And although I'll probably never see her again, just the thought of her makes everything so much brighter.

It's weird thinking that just one night with someone can change absolutely everything, but it has for me. I don't care where she is now, what she's doing, where she'll go, just as long as she knows how beautiful she is.

I just see her face in my head and can't help but laugh

(co-dependent much?)


anyone else ever have an experience like this?

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Oh yeah.

I think you become an adult the morning after you wake up after something like that. It's good in a way, but at the same time sad, because you lose a big part of your innocence. That feeling that anything is possible is gone forever.

But that's life, apparently. Ha Ha

 

[EscapeArtist]

That's absolutely positively (i've run out of words already, fill in the blak)ly great that you had that experience! Hope I'm able to one day.

 

[EasySkankin]

Nice dude...

Unfortunately, no I don't know what that feeling is like :/

 

[EgoZero]

I'm happy for you dude and I love such stories, they give some hope. It's just sad that I havent experienced anything like that.

 

[redski]

I think this is one of those defining life moments.
The only advice I can give is do not let this get under your skin.
It's sort of like if you truly love somebody then you can let them go...

 

[goldenholds]

Yes, I have had this experience, a thousand times, with the same woman. I cannot express how grateful I am for it, and I do not know where I would have ended up if not for it. I do not speak of it often, as I do not expect most people would understand. I was not in a relationship with her, I am loveshy after all, but I was able to be close to her for a time. Before that, the world was a terrifying, dreadful, painful place that I could barely endure. Then with just a glimpse of her or the brief sound of her voice the world became a wonderful place where I can do the things I want to do and not be afraid. Even still, it was very difficult for me to be close due to the anxiousness, but I faced up to it and got around it as well and as often as I could manage it. And the more I am close to her, the more I see her, the more I let myself feel the happiness, the better I get.

The most important thing in the world for me was to be sure she knew that she was beautiful. Yet I used to be sometimes afraid of how I felt, afraid it would bother her, afraid I was obsessing, afraid I would be fickle, afraid the world would take my happiness if it knew, afraid I would disappoint her. But the feeling inside is a beautiful thing, and if we all felt this way about someone the world would be a much better place. So I let myself feel it freely now, even if I'm showing signs.

I loved her dearly and so I let her go as gracefully as I could manage it. She moved on and moved away, many years ago. But she is back now, and just the other day I ran into her and spoke with her, and she is still beautiful. So beautiful I had nearly forgotten how much so. But it was always that way, every glimpse of her would leave me breathless, wondering how I could have forgotten how beautiful she was. And just as I thought I had sufficiently remembered how beautiful she was, I would be breathless again, wondering how I could have possibly forgotten she was this beautiful. And then the next time, and the next time, and a thousand more next times. And as fortune would have it, she seems to live just up the road from me. And now I’m a bad boy again, because now I want even more next times. And that’s not even counting for what I need. Oh what a wonderful world.

 

[BlackPuma]

Aw, that's such an adorable story, Luna. I'm happy for you. ^W^

 

[goldenholds]

(co-dependent much?)

If you let her go freely, and still love her and truly wish her happiness, then you are not co-dependent. You've already proven that. You've just taken the feeling inside with you, and it is a beautiful thing. Sam's words, not mine.

 

[agoraphobickatie]

reading that made me smile

i know the feeling of thinking of someone and smiling.. i've had that for the past two or so years with a 'friend' of mine. we've been through other relationships, but we always keep in touch, there's just something about him that always makes me smile. we've always been that for each other. i also know the feeling of not really knowing the future of it or waiting for a future.. he's kind of been all over the place the past few years (as in his mind/actions, not literally) and i'm just not down to be serious with someone who isn't really stable in that way.. through it all, i've been there for him and hope to help him realize his potential.. as of now, he starts college tomorrow and he's been sober for three or four months, so we'll see

i'm truly glad you can experience this feeling... if anything, be happy you can feel it

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Wow small world! glad you had fun

 

[zav943]

That was a nice story

I know the feeling you're talking about. Ever since I left Toronto and went to this small town for work, a girl I've never cared about before stayed in touch with me...the ONLY person to stay in touch with me. She was my only friend while I was there, and it was very helpful during the harsh winter to hear her voice...it really makes me happy.

I think I'm in love with her now...even though I haven't seen her in more than a year. But I don't want to get carried away...I think I'm squarely in the friend zone right now. Not that it matters. I will be moving back in September and I can't wait to see her again. I will actually update SPW