Loneliness

[Argamemnon]

In the past four weeks my parents were on vacation, so I was completely alone for a whole month. I have never felt so sad and lonely in my life. I fear the day my parents will die because then I will have absolutely nobody. Their absence reminded me of the terrible loneliness I have to deal with for the rest of my life (I'm 33), since I don't have a wife/girlfriend. I don't think I'll be able to live alone and this scares the sh*t out of me, but there is nothing I can do about it. Anybody else in the same situation?

 

[Nabu]

Hi,

I live alone and I can handle this very well. Thanks to my job I don't realize that I'm alone.

But if I imaging I'm getting old and ill, that is scaring me.
I would need to ask my neighbor or coworker to help me. It is silly, but I find this awkward to have no one.

Nabu

 

[mikestar]

Yer I miss my mum and dad havent lived with them for over a year, its hard im only 20 and i havent got anyone else I feel close to.

 

[Argamemnon]

Hi,

I live alone and I can handle this very well. Thanks to my job I don't realize that I'm alone.

But if I imaging I'm getting old and ill, that is scaring me.
I would need to ask my neighbor or coworker to help me. It is silly, but I find this awkward to have no one.

Nabu

Hi,

May I ask how old you are? I find that it gets worse as I get older.

 

[Blue Teardrops]

Hugs, Argamemnon.

I'm sorry, I know how you feel. Well, except I'm not really close with my dad or sister, and I'd actually fare better without them since they have never made me feel like I belonged or like I'm wanted. With my mom on the other hand, it's a bit complicated. We've always been close and still are, but she's going through a hard time and being really snappy with me all the time. It seems like we've drifted apart a little bit, although I know we'll always be close. It's still very lonely.

I have no, zero, nada, friends and I fear the day my mom is not here any more. She doesn't take good care of herself, on top of having lots of stress and depression, and I am always worrying myself to death that she'll die. I sometimes lose sleep over it. She doesn't know, and if I tell her it'll just make her upset. I am afraid that I'll be alone in this world. I'm almost 23, never been in a relationship, will be lucky if I ever have a good-hearted boyfriend let alone a husband....and I know that if something happens to my mom, it's just me against this unjust world.

 

[zlench]

When I'm alone in the evenings I become very lonely and Sad because I have no real friends. I find it difficult to have any kind of relationships with people because I just cannot connect with them and show my emotions and speak to them.

 

[recluse]

The thought of my parents dying scares the hell out of me too. I have no one else either and i'm kind of still dependant on my parents. I'm afraid that if my parents would die i'd end up homeless.

 

[Argamemnon]

I have no, zero, nada, friends and I fear the day my mom is not here any more. She doesn't take good care of herself, on top of having lots of stress and depression, and I am always worrying myself to death that she'll die. I sometimes lose sleep over it. She doesn't know, and if I tell her it'll just make her upset. I am afraid that I'll be alone in this world. I'm almost 23, never been in a relationship, will be lucky if I ever have a good-hearted boyfriend let alone a husband....and I know that if something happens to my mom, it's just me against this unjust world.

Hi Blue Teardrops. I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. Same here, my mother doesn't take good care of herself either and eats very unhealthy, which worries me. I have no friends either and haven't had any since 2002. But at least you are still young and might be able to improve your situation. I feel that it's too late for me, because I'm clinically depressed and have always suffered from social anxiety. If the anxiety doesn't go away, or if I can't control it then my deep depression will continue I'm afraid.

I've started taking wellbutrin/bupropion today, I have decided to give antidepressants a chance. I always stopped taking them too early because of side effects, or because I convinced myself that they didn't do anything for me. This time I will try each antidepressant for at least two months to see if they work.. and if I find something that works I will probably take them for years, or even my whole life...

 

[Argamemnon]

Another fear I have is that they will cut my welfare.

 

[Nabu]

Hi,

May I ask how old you are? I find that it gets worse as I get older.

For 10 years it was a nightmare.
Now I'm 34 years old and I can handle it better. I assume that it is my job or I'm in the resignation phase

 

[iamthenra]

I can completely understand what you are saying, because I also feel alone and lonely allot. My father and I were allot closer than I am with my mother. My mother beat me as a child, so I have some anger management I have to deal with and try to hide, because my father passed away in 2002. I also HATE, yes I mean HATE being alone. Even if it means being with the very person who caused me to be the way I am today... It is a "toxic" relationship that we have, but she is still someone. So I take care of her home, her cars, buy her grocieries because she never leave the home....EVER!!! Yeah, I am the "enabler" caretaker if you will. That is my personality, if someone has a problem I usually take care of it. So I run between my sisters' house and my mom's house taking care of issues that come up with the cars / home/ whatever it may be.. So I am spread thin... One good thing about being so busy is I don't have allot of time to think about how lonely I really am... Anyone want a good husband???? I'm looking!!!!

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

I'm only alone when I'm with others.
I suppose if I lived completely alone (no parents, siblings), with no other life around me, it might affect me after a given amount of time.

 

[sorrow1]

i agree i feel alone when im with lots of people, when im truly alone i can finally breathe a sigh of relief.

 

[Anubis]

The thought of my parents dying scares the hell out of me too. I have no one else either and i'm kind of still dependant on my parents. I'm afraid that if my parents would die i'd end up homeless.

The ironic thing is that there is a huge chance that the complete opposite would happen. With your parents gone, your body would probably enter into an extreme form of "fight/flight" mode as it struggles to avoid homelessness. You would do anything to survive, maybe even do things you wouldn't ever imagine doing - like developing more social relationships. Your reaction probably wouldn't be different than a person who gets a gun pointed to his face. This person, with his life in danger, just suddenly "wakes up" and does anything to save his life.

It's an evolutionary reaction that often gets clouded for depressed people. But it's still there. And ready to be awakened with the right stimulus.

 

[recluse]

I can completely understand what you are saying, because I also feel alone and lonely allot. My father and I were allot closer than I am with my mother. My mother beat me as a child, so I have some anger management I have to deal with and try to hide, because my father passed away in 2002. I also HATE, yes I mean HATE being alone. Even if it means being with the very person who caused me to be the way I am today... It is a "toxic" relationship that we have, but she is still someone. So I take care of her home, her cars, buy her grocieries because she never leave the home....EVER!!! Yeah, I am the "enabler" caretaker if you will. That is my personality, if someone has a problem I usually take care of it. So I run between my sisters' house and my mom's house taking care of issues that come up with the cars / home/ whatever it may be.. So I am spread thin... One good thing about being so busy is I don't have allot of time to think about how lonely I really am... Anyone want a good husband???? I'm looking!!!!

My mother would beat me and my sister up too but i still love her. It's strange but even though she did what she did i still could not live without her.

 

[neko]

I know that feeling... I had my mom and my cats only before. No one else, no friends, no lover... It changed a bit, I have a lover but even so, he works and during that time, I'm at home, all alone. I don't have any friends and no cats to hold and pet. It's a bit depressing. So I know how you feel.

 

[klytus]

I guess it's a bit different with me. I prefer to be alone and therefore live in solitude, basically. I have no friends or people to talk to (except my mother). Not to mention a girlfriend. Over the last two years I have lost my entire interest in having interpersonal or romantic relationships.

 

[whos_that_girl]

Hey man, I KNOW how you feel. I'm also 33, very much alone except for having a brother and I get extreme fear when I think about him dying. But, we have to always remember that we are never really alone. We just freak ourselves out over THINKING that we are alone. That is our problem, thinking too much. I don't want to sound bitter, but atleast you have your parents. Mine died by the time I was 15, and with only my brother, it's been one heck of a major emotional rollercoaster with me. I wouldn't want anyone to experience the horror that I have, no way. Good luck to you, don't give up your still young.

 

[metafink]

I'm thirty and studying in an unfamiliar city where i have no friends. I keep relapsing into alcohol addiction cos i'm so lonely but i still can't gather my courage to go and make friends. People on my course seem to avoid me. I've just started a new job in a bar and i'm terrified i'll mess it up by just being myself again. The only solace i can take is that i only have one more year of my course then i can move on again and start all over again somewhere else. Hang in there mate. If i can do all i've done over the last two years and retain some semblance of sanity then I think anyone could.