living in newborn hell

[cowboyup]

Ok, perhaps a bit strong of word, Hell. But close. Since I last posted my sister in law had the baby. A girl. She is 5 days old and cries about every hour to 2 hours.

I've been watching my nephew (the brother) and a couple days ago he threw up 3 different times. All 3 times I was with him, cleaning up behind him, and at one point, he got sick, I was holding the newborn, and trying to comfort him while she whaled on.

I am definitely too old for children. Right now, I have a horrible stress headache ... close-to-migraine-like pain.

My brother took my nephew to the doctors and they said he has the stomach flu. So, he's been sleeping in my bed at night. I've had to tell the parents that I have to -- rather, MUST have a few hours to myself because I have homework to do.

We're expecting my SIL's parents and grandparents to arrive today so I am hoping and praying that they will help .... I haven't been out of the house since Wednesday and that was only because I had class.

Since the mom and dad need to go 'shopping' today, I will be watching both the newborn and 3 1/2 year old.

Seriously, I love kids but sometimes this Auntie needs a break too. My body feels like that of an elderly person - severe back pain which kept me awake last night, my left knee is swollen as is my ankle.

then to top that with icing, that guy I was whining about, well I ran into him at the store. He asked what I was up to, my reply was watching kids. He replied: "that's lame, I'd rather lay naked in a field of ants, it would be less painful"

at least he's honest, I guess. Funny thing is he is the same age as my brother and SIL. Wow! The difference in maturity...or something. meh, whatever. I have no time for silly things right now. lol.

Ok, off my soap box of woe. Just had to vent.
Thanks for listening!

 

[MikeyC]

If you feel unable to look after kids, you have to tell your brother and sister-in-law. They're THEIR kids, not yours, and you have the right to refuse looking after them if you need time to yourself.

Imagine if you don't tell them: you could be babysitting for the next 15 years. Having them dump a 5-day-old baby onto you is poor form, so establish now that you're not their mother.

 

[JuiceB]

I don't know how you put up with it. Like Mikey said its THEIR KIDS not yours. If they don't have what it takes to raise kids then they shouldn't have them. I would put my foot down and tell them something. You don't have to be rude, just tell them that you don't appreciate being stepped on like that.

Also while you're babysitting the kids they might be making your life even more miserable by working on another baby, maybe even triplets. Tell one of them to get fixed so that this won't happen again.

 

[dottie]

if you dislike watching them so much... don't.

 

[cowboyup]

^^^ Yes, you guys are SO right! It's not that I dislike kids or helping - to a point, but when you feel like it's more advantageous to them than me, then I MUST grow a spine and put my foot down. I refuse to see them off to high school!

They tell me thank you and that they couldn't do this without me - but I wonder about all the people in this world who have nobody to help out or rely on and are working full time, have 2-3 kids, etc. Somehow THEY "make it" work. Yes, it would be hard, very hard...but I think that would be the situation of most people.

Sometimes I feel like I am going nuts and wonder if it's me ... thanks for the input

 

[MikeyC]

Putting your foot down is exactly what you need to do. I'm sure you love the kids, but you can't be bending over backwards to help them. Good luck!

 

[awkwardamanda]

then to top that with icing, that guy I was whining about, well I ran into him at the store. He asked what I was up to, my reply was watching kids. He replied: "that's lame, I'd rather lay naked in a field of ants, it would be less painful"

at least he's honest, I guess. Funny thing is he is the same age as my brother and SIL. Wow! The difference in maturity...or something. meh, whatever. I have no time for silly things right now. lol.

LOL!! I need to find a guy that. Not liking kids does not make someone immature. I dread the day my brother has kids (which won't be any time soon anyway) because I'll be a terrible aunt. I hate kids. I don't have a clue what to do with them and I don't like pretending to care about someone else's kids or acting like I think they're cute.

 

[mikebird]

Well.. everything goes around.

I have never been near to any small person at my age of 36, apart from tiny wailers in a pink crib in a supermarket trolley or a dashing, squealing, running child. If I ever have one of mine being that disturbing, I'd punish it and keep things quiet. My inbuilt reaction would be to silence such an annoyance as a car alarm, and use any method to obliterate it - be human or electronics. I would curb my Terminator instinct somehow.

All my family went on and on to me as my nieces were born. Before that, my brothers' wives were devoted to me as a cuddly, in their on-heat instinct.

I'm so glad that many of my akin people do see the creation of fresh humans as mindlessly, ridiculously foolish. About 50:50 of the people I know, of our era, have produced offspring.

The signals from my brothers' wives from very early age, until the time I left school to do something significant, I should have listened to them and followed instructions, and be part of our distorted, skewed, cuddly society.

It's an important base for any human to live by. Having failed in civvy life, earning money, I regret not having the chance to be in ArmedForces. My fault. The world is collapsing in around me now.

Very sorry for wailing

 

[cowboyup]

LOL!! I need to find a guy that. Not liking kids does not make someone immature. I dread the day my brother has kids (which won't be any time soon anyway) because I'll be a terrible aunt. I hate kids. I don't have a clue what to do with them and I don't like pretending to care about someone else's kids or acting like I think they're cute.

Lol, yes, that is true, you're right, to like or not like kids doesn't make one immature...You put a new light on how I stated it, cool!


actually it was funny, I re-read what I wrote and I laughed when I think of what he said.

 

[cowboyup]

Well.. everything goes around.

I have never been near to any small person at my age of 36, apart from tiny wailers in a pink crib in a supermarket trolley or a dashing, squealing, running child. If I ever have one of mine being that disturbing, I'd punish it and keep things quiet. My inbuilt reaction would be to silence such an annoyance as a car alarm, and use any method to obliterate it - be human or electronics. I would curb my Terminator instinct somehow.

All my family went on and on to me as my nieces were born. Before that, my brothers' wives were devoted to me as a cuddly, in their on-heat instinct.

I'm so glad that many of my akin people do see the creation of fresh humans as mindlessly, ridiculously foolish. About 50:50 of the people I know, of our era, have produced offspring.

The signals from my brothers' wives from very early age, until the time I left school to do something significant, I should have listened to them and followed instructions, and be part of our distorted, skewed, cuddly society.

It's an important base for any human to live by. Having failed in civvy life, earning money, I regret not having the chance to be in ArmedForces. My fault. The world is collapsing in around me now.

Very sorry for wailing

no apology necessary. I understand. My mom's side of the family are cool like that, they don't question why I am single with no kids. They don't care. And I like it that way. In fact, a lot of my relatives died single with no kids so it really is not a big deal. Believe me, if I had to do it over ... I would. Like you, I regret not being able to join the military..and yes I thought that would have been good for me, discipline, independence etc. but got b!tch slapped for thinking that was my way to a better life.
Ugh, what goes around...karma, yup!!. I watched my brother, sister, was forced to quit school to watch my sister while my mom worked and dad spent nights at the bar. OK, not "forced" per se, but I knew that there would be severe consequences and a lifetime movie made from it if I didn't do as told.
Could be worse. Aside from SA, I have my health and my intelligence
Actually, my SIL and I had a nice convo. the other day and I told her that 35 (+/-)is the cut off limit for having kids (IMO). Even at her age, 32, the nurse/doctor said her pregnancy difficulties were probably due to her age. I am 42, I do not, not at all regret not having kids. I raised enough of the little rugrats, so I am all set. Plus I won't have to give all my hard earned money, time and energy to them. Selfish, perhaps, but if there's one thing I've learned from all this is that you have to look after yourself first because nobody else will. That, of course, is a work in progress for me. My challenge, so to speak.

Now, I must apologize, here I am droning on and on.

 

[dottie]

true, kids = insta-poverty. at least in the location where i live.

 

[cowboyup]

true, kids = insta-poverty. at least in the location where i live.

everywhere, I think. I see first hand all the sh!t they have to buy for the kids and I am blown away.

the dumb questions people asked when she was preg too. like, "what are you having" ...duh a human.
Oh you have a pair now...a girl and a boy.
uh ok. not a pair of shoes. they match. a girl is different from a boy.

if people heard my thoughts, I'd have been committed. hehe

 

[MikeyC]

true, kids = insta-poverty. at least in the location where i live.

Some people can make it work pretty well. I know my parents were struggling when my brother and I were very young, trying to afford to raise us, though. We all survived!

 

[Bo592]

My sister left her boyfriend who took care the kids most of the time and got new boyfriend that she meet at her work now that both of them have to work and sleep all day long. I am left with babysitting and having trouble making them mind me some times. I am learning thing that I never knew about kids now but still wish I had more time for myself like you. I am looking at it like this I always wanted to grow up and have a family of my own so I see this as my chance to learn to be a father.

 

[cowboyup]

^ that's good you can see the positive in the situation
When I'm feeling more level-headed and calm(er), I am better able to deal with my situation as well...but at times, as you can see by my whiny posts, it tends to get the best of me.

Hang in there! Sounds like you have a good attitude!

 

[oddOne]

LOL!! I need to find a guy that. Not liking kids does not make someone immature. I dread the day my brother has kids...

Hey, I’m a guy like that! . . . but I’m sort of far away and in a different country . . . but on the same CONTINENT! Anyway, I don’t have to worry about feigning interest in any future nieces/nephews, as my sister (my only sibling) can’t stand the thought of caring for loud, insolent, and very expensive crap/p!ss generators either. In other words, we’re both biological/evolutionary “dead-ends.”

(which won't be any time soon anyway) because I'll be a terrible aunt. I hate kids. I don't have a clue what to do with them and I don't like pretending to care about someone else's kids or acting like I think they're cute.

To me, all babies look like extraterrestrials (e.g. sort of like “E.T.,” you know, that crap movie from 1982). I don’t get how ANYBODY considers them “cute” and/or stories about kids “interesting.” It has to be hormonal . . . or something related. On that note, here’s a sincere question directed at nobody in particular. Amongst people that have kids, are there individuals that actually give a crap about stories that have to do with other people’s kids?