living at home with parets and agoraphobia

[ZITA21]

Hello

my problem is that i have agoraphobia, i have had it for five years now. i am 22 now and
my agorhaphobia makes it harder to move out on my own.
Every one who has agorha knows how hard it is to even go outside your house. go great or even small distant travels makes me fysikal and mental sick. spending overnigth is a living nigth mare.
at home i feel safe, and allrigth. But the problem is that i am living with my parents and they make me irrateded. and really angry.
we live in a smal appartement, and my mom is mental sick to witch goes hard on me to. i am dealing with so many things at once. i am always irritated and angry.
do not get me wrong i love my parents,but everything is so tense. everyone are so tense.
No one works at my house. my mom is on sosial money and my dad is retierd.
i do not work my self because of my agora.
everyone are home. all the time. we never get a brake from each other.
my parense want me to be more responsible. kleaning clothes, washing the dishes.. and on... and i am trying. belive me. its really hard for me. they want everything to be in there time, rigth there and then.
i dont know if that is the normal thing or what, but i get tierd and i want to do it in my time. they want to control it all. Maybe it is just my adult clock tikking and want to leave home,but the think is that i can`t. so my quastion is people who has agorha and lives at home. how to live with your parents. any tips. how to deal?

sorry for the writting errors. i am norwegian.

 

[dottie]

yes, that is normal of them. your clock is ticking and so is theirs. i think you should move out- easier said than done (believe me, i know). do you think you will live with them forever?

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

If I had money to support myself, I'd move out. I felt better living by myself, I think...
Being made to live with my mother makes me feel worse because I feel like I'm leeching off of her and I don't want to be.

I'm also 22 but I was doing well for a couple of years and moved out after highschool. I was happy to be on my own and I'd like to be again but I don't have the money...and I'm not doing very well physically or mentally since becoming depressed and sinking deep into agoraphobia again.
If you can get some sort of income from working from home-- or maybe be put onto disability if you have panic disorder and agoraphobia; then I think getting a small apartment for yourself to have your personal space would be a good option.
Of course-- I don't know everything about you, so I'm not sure if it is possible or if you'd want that... but it's something you could think about. Take small steps and do what you can to feel some sense of independence.

Try not to stress out about it too much, because you're not the only one!

Welcome to the forum.

 

[ZITA21]

not forever. it just that is really, really hard. home is my safe sone.it always been.

 

[ILovePocky]

I have similar issues. My parents don't really understand my agoraphobia and social anxiety and they're always pushing me to get a job, go to school, move out. But I know that they're only doing it because they want to see me happy and sucessful. I know I have to start facing my fears, I can't hide away forever. But it's really hard. I hope you find a way to deal with it as best as you can. Like others said, you definitely are not alone!

 

[fitftw]

you have parrots at home? ;] sorry I'm a wiseguy sometimes at the worst times. I saw the thread title and had to get that stupid little joke out of my system and I couldn't keep it to myself.

My bad. And it was a bit hard for me to read your text wall. I had started to get physically ill also from living at home at age 25. It made me sick and I hated myself. My mom has been on Xanax my whole life so she was always a bit crazy. You'll move out when the time is right. The universe has a plan for you.

 

[Ajuna24]

Hey

I'm actually in almost exactly the same situation.
Just going to the grocery store makes me extremely anxious.. heh.
Living with my parents is starting to drive me insane.

I'm 23 and from Norway too. I sent you a private message.

 

[Seb]

I'm only 17, but I'm getting a lot of **** from my parents about not being able to leave the house.

They usually complain about how I don't have a job and how they don't want to pay to keep me here-- as if that's the most important thing to them. They usually offer useless and insulting advice for me to "get over" my agoraphobia as if it's that simple, and deliberately reiterating it whenever I tell them that it's not helpful in any way and just makes me feel worse. They usually compare my situation to theirs, where they were physically abused, which to them makes my problems meaningless int he face of what they took when they were my age. There's no reasoning with them on that.

It's a bit of a wild child situation with my parents, they let me stay here for nothing, but they constantly get on my back about things I can't really control or deliberately try to get on my nerves by telling me to "go out and get it, then" whenever I ask if they can pick up something while they're out.

**** my life.

 

[djkghigh]

it is tuff and parents dont seem to understand these things because they have no xperience with it, they dont know what its like
not having a job and having to depend on them makes me feel less of a man
gotta focus on a strategy to make it out

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I don't think 22 is too old to live with parents. I know a couple people who are 26 and live at home and probably older. You do sound irritated though, which isn't good. Don't worry about what others think though, if your not prepared just get a job at a small store and save up? You can apply to jobs online or sign up for a travel group like nols just so you can experiance being away for a month, good luck : )

 

[Pachito]

yeah im 21 living with my parents too, but because I can't afford to pay rent ( I already pay for college and other bills). But I feel you on the agoraphobia, I used to not get out at all. Ever since I started therapy and meds (zoloft) I can at least take a walk outside. You should try getting professional help, because it can help. I used to ignore my SA for years and I ended up worst than before. So, yea man hope you feel better, and don't worry about living with parents just try to get out with friends and you won't even think about it

 

[Skullomania]

I live with my parents and never leave the house. My parents have very backwards thinking and steal money (the little bit I have) from me, so in a way it's very difficult for me to move out. They are extremely irritating and screech when they talk. There is no privacy, they go through my things as well. My parents also barely clean and are disorganized filthy people at times. I am also OCD so this is a problem for me. In all honesty it feels as if I am the parent at times.

The only way for me to deal with them is to block them out with music or books or imagine things being much worse. i.e. being homeless and hungry. I yearn for the day to get over agoraphobia, get a job and have the means of moving out. It will be worth it.

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

I live with my parents and never leave the house. My parents have very backwards thinking and steal money (the little bit I have) from me, so in a way it's very difficult for me to move out. They are extremely irritating and screech when they talk. There is no privacy, they go through my things as well. My parents also barely clean and are disorganized filthy people at times. I am also OCD so this is a problem for me. In all honesty it feels as if I am the parent at times.

The only way for me to deal with them is to block them out with music or books or imagine things being much worse. i.e. being homeless and hungry. I yearn for the day to get over agoraphobia, get a job and have the means of moving out. It will be worth it.

Damn! That's rough!
You need to buy a gun and tell your parents to stay away from your ****!
No doubt, I hope you can find a way to get out of that house.
I have agoraphobia too, but mine is the opposite problem. No one here does anything, they are too nice and forgiving. The world is tough, and I never learned anything to get me through it. (Not from the rents anyway)

 

[missjesss]

My god you have agoraphobia at 22!! are you doing anything to beat this?? that is no life to be living at all !! why are you so afraid to go outside??

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I've been living with my mom my whole life & I'm 29 now. I've been afraid to leave home since around 13 or 14. I started taking care of my mom when I was 19 because she had a really bad stroke (which she mostly recovered from, luckily, except for mentally). If she had never had the stroke, I know for certain she would have kicked me out by now. The only reason she lets me stay is because I take care of her, pay the bills (with her money, since I have none), etc. I would love to have a life of my own but I don't know if that will ever be possible.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

My god you have agoraphobia at 22!! are you doing anything to beat this?? that is no life to be living at all !! why are you so afraid to go outside??

Wow, that was rude. Did you actually mean this or are you being sarcastic?

If you're being serious, you obviously know VERY little about agoraphobia. There are people in their 40's & 50's who have it & probably even older. It doesn't just magically go away at a certain age. I'm 29 & have it. Regardless of how hard a person might try to get over it, it's very hard to get over for most people & some may NEVER get over it.

 

[decadeOfSA]

Most people don't understand how bad SAD can be, unless they have it. Therefore, they will think you are lazy if you won't/can't get a job and support yourself.

Unfortunately, that is just the way it is. You need to get on disability or find some way to make money from home (there are ways) and move out.

Get started on getting on disability or finding some way to make money at home, because, unless you get professional help (which often doesn't work), you will have it forever.

 

[Gerdje]

In almost 40, and I "live" with my 78yo mother.....

 

[rustyrus303]

yeah i have agoraphobia, i moved out when i had a girlfriend, she really helped me with my problem. but now we've broken up nd im back where i started. im only 21 though so im not givin up, just gonna find me another girl