Letting people down and being let down

[Dronee]

Well, there are times when there's really nice people who gave me a chance despite my problems, but try as I might, I couldn't overcome my problems. Or at least not soon enough and I end up disappointing people.

I often think that letting down these nice people is even worse than being humiliated. And then there's times when other people let you down. People you thought you could trust... I'm sometimes even afraid that people are being nice to me because sooner or later (more likely sooner), I'll somehow disappoint them yet again.

Anyone ever felt this way?

 

[da_illest101]

I know what you mean, so many ppl gave me a chance but i couldn't feel at ease with them even if they were doing nothing wrong. I made a thread a few days ago about how my former friend let me down so here too i know how u feel. I'm taking small step to get better and i will

 

[bigrob]

I feel like I let my wife down all the time. I am a complete 180* from what I was 5 years ago when we got together. I've been laid off since Dec 2008 and the constant rejection have exacerbated my problems.

I feel like I let my parents down. I'm supposed to be "the smart one" but somewhere in my head the intelligence is diluted by depression, ADD, and anxiety. I have had a long term goal of having them proud of me, but I don't believe I will ever do it....at least in the sense I would like.

 

[Dronee]

Thanks for the insights... hopefully more people can come forward. I feel that this is a major facet of our problems... as in many of us are facing it to some degree...

 

[Ignace]

I feel like letting my parents down too. My dad's expecting me to go out with friends and stuff.... haha ! right ! T-T

 

[ありがとう]

I used to feel that way too, sometimes I still do... "I must not fail, I must do well" but there's nothing you can do but try your best at it, they will understand if things don't go perfectly, they still love you for you.

 

[Lonelykitsune]

yeah,especially this year.My parents and teachers are trying to help.My yeear head at school even asked a girl to come and talk to me at lunch but even though shes really nice i couldnt think of things to say and it must of been so boring and awkward for her.Its sad seing people pitying me..

 

[garry29]

yeah,especially this year.My parents and teachers are trying to help.My yeear head at school even asked a girl to come and talk to me at lunch but even though shes really nice i couldnt think of things to say and it must of been so boring and awkward for her.Its sad seing people pitying me..

I get like this sometimes but you should realize that she's just trying to be nice. If she's a nice person and she wants to be nice to you then she isn't pitying you at all. She's just being herself and doing what comes natural to her.

 

[AGlife]

Yes, I often feel the same way. I feel bad when certain people help me with say...school, computers or whatever. I feel I have nothing to offer them back. Usually I could offer them my personality and befriend them (i mean just make them feel good and talk to them) , but now I can't. They are better than me in both the task and hand, and socially. The only thing I can really offer is a nimble and quiet 'thank you', which always ends up sounding insincere.

 

[Kat]

I used to feel that way too, sometimes I still do... "I must not fail, I must do well" but there's nothing you can do but try your best at it, they will understand if things don't go perfectly, they still love you for you.

Yep that’s right!

I usually feel as though I have nothing to offer. I don’t think it is the sole reason for my sa, but it definitely contributes to my negativity.

 

[xxaimsxx]

You know something the amount of times people who i've talked to that have said to me 'you have to move on' and ive promised them i will is just too much.
Ive been quite lucky people have put up with me this much though. If i came across myself i wouldnt bloody bother.

I am tired of letting people down. I dont wanna be known as a let down.

 

[Luthien]

I have a HUGE fear of failure. I don't know if I'm afraid of letting anyone specific down (other than my mom, she thinks I'm this amazing person and I haven't seen or talked to her since my SA started because I don't want her to see me in this weak and pathetic state) mostly I just have insanely high standards that I impose on myself and I get really upset with myself if I don't meet them. I actually just wrote a blog post about the fear of rejection and failure, if anyone wants to see it (REJECTION and the fear of failure Over Under and another trying to face it Screw you, failure. Over Under)

At our house, we have this little box of cards that have little blurbs on them about different ways to better yourself, and I just pulled this one out a couple days ago, I think it's really applicable:

Always Do Your Best- Your best is changing all the time

Your best will depend on whether you are refreshed in the morning or tired at night.
Your best will be different when you are happy as opposed to upset, or healthy as opposed to sick.
Under any circumstances, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

What really helps me about this is trying to accept that my best is constantly changing. Just because my best seemed better yesterday, doesn't mean that I'm failing now, I'm just different. I don't know, it just helps me to read this and try to make it what I believe.

 

[hangbi92]

Anyone ever felt this way?

Me .

 

[Hadron]

I've never let anyone down for the simple reason that no one ever gave a hoot about me. ( well maybe there were a few, but they weren't my family or anyone that was supposed to care )

Also, no one has ever let me down because I never expect anything from anyone. I only care about myself and keep to myself mainly. In a way, I'm following Ayn Rand's philosophy. Though I'm still not sure whether I've come to be like this out of choice or out of default.