Letting go of the past?

[Tuukka40]

I'm a senior in high school and the fact that I wasted all of my high school years just kind of hit me..And it is the biggest regret of my life.

As a freshman I didn't really care much about doing stuff on the weekends..I preferred to go home on a Friday and just watch TV and play video games all weekend. Pretty much the same case sophomore year. By junior year I kind of wanted to start going out, partying, and being with friends..But by then I already established myself as one of the quiet kids. Wasn't really the friendless outcast of the school..But if you weren't one of my close friends or didn't go to elementary with me, you would have no clue who I was. It would have been a challenge to make friends either way because I'm pretty shy.

But now I'm a couple months from graduation and I've never been to a school dance, never went to a football game, never went to homecoming, didn't go to junior prom, probably won't go to senior prom, didn't have many friends, never had a girlfriend. The only fond memory I'm taking out of high school is hockey. Even then it is only because of the personal success I had.

It is really frustrating..My life feels like it's flying by and I'll be in the same social situation when I'm 34 as I am now at 17:: Any advice on how to just move forward and change what seems to be my fate?

 

[Lonelykitsune]

I'm in pretty much the exact same situation,same age too..No discos boyfriend or anything,in fact almost no contact with males at all since its an all-girl school.And next year is my last year.And I also felt happy enough during the first two years to go home and do nothing socialPlus I had many potential friendships but didn't really do anything and so never got close to anyone.

Don't really have any advice though I don't feel like I've grown up much at all and still feel like a kid most of the time.

 

[fitftw]

I'm 27 and I never went to any school dances and had no friends. You'll get through it. I didn't even care when I was younger, I was too busy playing Playstation 1.

 

[krs2snow]

I know just what u mean about regreting stuff from the past and feeling like u've wasted time and opportunities! But, the best thing u can do is try to focus on the present. U could also make plans for the future. Get excited about something, u know? I've found looking forward to to things is the best way to stop looking back on things. U said u probably won't go to senior prom. But, why NOT? Wouldn't u be excited if u started making plans to go? Wouldn't u stop focusing on what u haven't done all through highschool and start getting nervous about the big night?! I think u should really push urself to go to ur senior prom, one way or another. U could think of someone to ask as a date or plan to go stag. Do whatever ur comfortable with but go. Its ur senior prom and it won't ever happen again. Go by urself, with a friend or with a date. Hell, hire a clown to go w/u if u have to! Just go! And start planning for it! It will be a night u'll never forget. And above all, u'll be living in Now instead of regreting Then.

 

[coyote]

in a few years your life will have changed in so many unpredictable ways that you will have forgotten all about high school

the future hasn't happened yet - you can't predict what will occur, because what happens in each new now creates an infinite number of variables that no one can possibly account for

the past no longer exists - you can't change it

start living now and don't look back - it's not worth it

 

[krs2snow]

^^ I agree with what Coyote posted. He seems to be speaking somewhat philisophically which is right up my alley. To be more concrete though, I think u need more Step 1. Step 2. Step 3 advice. In a few yrs ur life will change but don't let that be an excuse to do nothing now. Don't sacrifice an expereince Now b-cuz someday in the future u won't care! My advice is Step one: Decide ur going to look forward to And go to ur senior prom. Step two: Decide if u will ask a date or go stag. Step Three: Pick out something to wear thats slammin and go have fun. And Step four: Life will continue on and so will u. Go have some fun, live a little! U deserve it! Again, the best way to combat regreting the past is to creat present and future expectations and opportunities.

 

[Kinetik]

Well in my own experience, opportunities for socializing do tend to take a bit of a nosedive once you're done with studying. But assuming you're going on to do some sort of secondary education, you'll have another shot at putting yourself out there. Do make the most of that, though. You don't want to have these same feelings again in four years' time.

 

[bigcat1967]

You only 18. You have your whole life ahead of you.

There is time to change the path that you are on - Led Zepelin

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

During my high school graduation, when someones name was called their friends would clap. When it was my turn no one clapped. It was an awkward three seconds. No one knew me really. This actually inspired me to do more after highschool, and hopefully you too. There might not be "prom" etc. but there's other things you can do as an adult that's fun. Like going to a bar, forming a new relationship, traveling, backpacking, and so on. You also have more choices. In highschool it was like jail or something....

 

[Tuukka40]

I'm 27 and I never went to any school dances and had no friends. You'll get through it. I didn't even care when I was younger, I was too busy playing Playstation 1.

I guess I just have to learn from this..Can't get the time back. But it sucks..

I know just what u mean about regreting stuff from the past and feeling like u've wasted time and opportunities! But, the best thing u can do is try to focus on the present. U could also make plans for the future. Get excited about something, u know? I've found looking forward to to things is the best way to stop looking back on things. U said u probably won't go to senior prom. But, why NOT? Wouldn't u be excited if u started making plans to go? Wouldn't u stop focusing on what u haven't done all through highschool and start getting nervous about the big night?! I think u should really push urself to go to ur senior prom, one way or another. U could think of someone to ask as a date or plan to go stag. Do whatever ur comfortable with but go. Its ur senior prom and it won't ever happen again. Go by urself, with a friend or with a date. Hell, hire a clown to go w/u if u have to! Just go! And start planning for it! It will be a night u'll never forget. And above all, u'll be living in Now instead of regreting Then.

It would be extremely awkward unless I did get a date. But I have literally no girls that I talk to which makes getting a date with a girl I would actually want to go with pretty hard.

in a few years your life will have changed in so many unpredictable ways that you will have forgotten all about high school

the future hasn't happened yet - you can't predict what will occur, because what happens in each new now creates an infinite number of variables that no one can possibly account for

the past no longer exists - you can't change it

start living now and don't look back - it's not worth it

You always give good advice!

Well in my own experience, opportunities for socializing do tend to take a bit of a nosedive once you're done with studying. But assuming you're going on to do some sort of secondary education, you'll have another shot at putting yourself out there. Do make the most of that, though. You don't want to have these same feelings again in four years' time.

Next year I am either playing junior hockey or going to college, so either way I will have a new opportunity to re-invent myself, make new friends, and meet new people. I plan to make the most of it..I really don't want college to be like high school..I don't think that my shyness is something too severe that I can't get over it, so Im pretty optimistic.

During my high school graduation, when someones name was called their friends would clap. When it was my turn no one clapped. It was an awkward three seconds. No one knew me really. This actually inspired me to do more after highschool, and hopefully you too. There might not be "prom" etc. but there's other things you can do as an adult that's fun. Like going to a bar, forming a new relationship, traveling, backpacking, and so on. You also have more choices. In highschool it was like jail or something....

I know but I feel like I missed my chance at just being a teenager since I didn't really do much throughout high school..Im sure being an adult won't be horrible, but again, I wish I could re-do everything.

Thanks for the advice!!

 

[Feathers]

Hey Tuukka! You're still young, you'll still have A LOT of opportunities!!

Either hockey or college sound fun, and a chance to meet many new people!!
For me, high school was pretty horrible, and university was much better!!

You don't need to be one of 'the' most important/popular people to still have FUN!
Some school dances or proms can be stuffy occasions.. you can still get a date by 'borrowing' someone's sister or cousin or such, at our school, many people came with relatives or family friends etc. (and your friends/classmates need never know - or if the date is cute, they'll be jealous anyway! )

Well, they say 30s are the new 20s, soo...?