Pft, pens. Pft, swords. I've got a laptop. You can write with it, and bash people in the head with it. Multifunctional. Though, one might severely affect the capability of the other.
^Yes, but you didn't put the answer in the form of a question. Thanks for playing and I hope you enjoy your consolation prize of a ceramic dolphin. The grand prize of course goes to me though.