lack of any intimacy

lifesnotfair

Well-known member
#41
i just would like more outstanding testimonies in my life and to keep having faith that he's going to bring me a guy that i really like.
And I am just a guy who sees every one of my friends that I have grown up with married, have kids and families and I am the only person who isn't. I know its my fault somewhere that i don't have that, but i don't know what to do anymore..
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
#43
Where's the Spartan when you need him?

That guy knows how this Game works, he doesn't sugarcoat things. Just doesn't have the courage to come into this thread I guess.
 

lily

Well-known member
#44
Thanks Fountain for the comfort 'like'. it's important for me too just like i comfort others in their trouble, some people don't think that words are important to me too, or care. how is that guy going to help you? it's the women who r supposed to be helpful to you Bronson99. i know what kind of guy i like but I'm not going to give it away bc i want the guy to be himself, not fake it- it's not nice either. be yourself and the right person will like you. perhaps if you keep on trying you will get different results. good luck! sorry if that doesn't help you at all. if it doesn't then next time i think i won't say it at all to you and i don't mean to be rude either, just saying
 

lifesnotfair

Well-known member
#45
oh don't worry, you're not the only 1! What do you mean you know it's your fault?
It's always my fault, meaning I seem to screw up and fail at something. My heart is completely dead. Maybe its a good thing that women aren't attracted to me, because Its my fault i am dead inside.
 

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
#46
It may just be that women are sensing that you've given up and/or you're showing it without even realizing it and they're put off by it. So, in a sense, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: you've given up and don't think women will ever be attracted to you, women see/sense this and are put off, thus you seal your fate as someone who won't find anyone. I don't want to sound judgmental or make any hasty decisions, but, from what I've seen in skimming this thread is some level of resentment and bitterness towards women. I don't know the stories behind them, but you can't just label all women as either gold diggers or vain jerks, just based on your interactions with a few (There are millions of women on the planet, so there's no way any of us, male or female, could meet a statistically significant number of them). You've just got to treat each woman as their own person and learn more about them. Some will be jerks, no doubt. But, you live and learn and move on.

But, there are only two paths to take: either you continue and fight on trying to find a partner or you give up. There's no wrong choice. If you want to give up, then there's no shame in it and no one can force you to do something you don't want to do. If you want to continue on, then it may be best to take a step back, analyze how you're approaching women and how you portray yourself, get some outside opinions, like how Molly was preparing to give, and improve yourself. Don't make women your end goal. Live happily, doing things that you enjoy and find happiness in. That's most important.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
#47
It may just be that women are sensing that you've given up and/or you're showing it without even realizing it and they're put off by it. So, in a sense, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: you've given up and don't think women will ever be attracted to you, women see/sense this and are put off, thus you seal your fate as someone who won't find anyone. I don't want to sound judgmental or make any hasty decisions, but, from what I've seen in skimming this thread is some level of resentment and bitterness towards women. I don't know the stories behind them, but you can't just label all women as either gold diggers or vain jerks, just based on your interactions with a few (There are millions of women on the planet, so there's no way any of us, male or female, could meet a statistically significant number of them). You've just got to treat each woman as their own person and learn more about them. Some will be jerks, no doubt. But, you live and learn and move on.

But, there are only two paths to take: either you continue and fight on trying to find a partner or you give up. There's no wrong choice. If you want to give up, then there's no shame in it and no one can force you to do something you don't want to do. If you want to continue on, then it may be best to take a step back, analyze how you're approaching women and how you portray yourself, get some outside opinions, like how Molly was preparing to give, and improve yourself. Don't make women your end goal. Live happily, doing things that you enjoy and find happiness in. That's most important.
Absolutely agree with this, well said.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
#48
The last year I have tried to connect with people socially by exposure. And it is working for me. To be able to talk to another person without fear, I've started to rebuild social skills that I'd lost. Many people, particularly women have been kind to me, which I value highly.

Women are vulnerable in todays society, and I imagine is a big show of trust to show kindness and interest when that could be taken advantage of.
 

lifesnotfair

Well-known member
#49
It may just be that women are sensing that you've given up and/or you're showing it without even realizing it and they're put off by it. So, in a sense, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: you've given up and don't think women will ever be attracted to you, women see/sense this and are put off, thus you seal your fate as someone who won't find anyone. I don't want to sound judgmental or make any hasty decisions, but, from what I've seen in skimming this thread is some level of resentment and bitterness towards women. I don't know the stories behind them, but you can't just label all women as either gold diggers or vain jerks, just based on your interactions with a few (There are millions of women on the planet, so there's no way any of us, male or female, could meet a statistically significant number of them). You've just got to treat each woman as their own person and learn more about them. Some will be jerks, no doubt. But, you live and learn and move on.

But, there are only two paths to take: either you continue and fight on trying to find a partner or you give up. There's no wrong choice. If you want to give up, then there's no shame in it and no one can force you to do something you don't want to do. If you want to continue on, then it may be best to take a step back, analyze how you're approaching women and how you portray yourself, get some outside opinions, like how Molly was preparing to give, and improve yourself. Don't make women your end goal. Live happily, doing things that you enjoy and find happiness in. That's most important.
You're right, I am bitter. This is due to being mislead and played for a fool. I never asked to feel bitter towards women, experience has taught me that. I never had the skills or even the ability to notice if someone was interested in me, because i just never understood or knew how to react. I have never been able to make eye contact with anyone either, since i was a small child. A lot of different crap has made me this way. Every day I accept a little bit more that I am a hopeless cause and I could never be in a proper relationship with anyone.
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
#50
:
It may just be that women are sensing that you've given up and/or you're showing it without even realizing it and they're put off by it. So, in a sense, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: you've given up and don't think women will ever be attracted to you, women see/sense this and are put off, thus you seal your fate as someone who won't find anyone. I don't want to sound judgmental or make any hasty decisions, but, from what I've seen in skimming this thread is some level of resentment and bitterness towards women. I don't know the stories behind them, but you can't just label all women as either gold diggers or vain jerks, just based on your interactions with a few (There are millions of women on the planet, so there's no way any of us, male or female, could meet a statistically significant number of them). You've just got to treat each woman as their own person and learn more about them. Some will be jerks, no doubt. But, you live and learn and move on.

But, there are only two paths to take: either you continue and fight on trying to find a partner or you give up. There's no wrong choice. If you want to give up, then there's no shame in it and no one can force you to do something you don't want to do. If you want to continue on, then it may be best to take a step back, analyze how you're approaching women and how you portray yourself, get some outside opinions, like how Molly was preparing to give, and improve yourself. Don't make women your end goal. Live happily, doing things that you enjoy and find happiness in. That's most important.
That’s perfectly said. Thank you DMW I will not post on this thread anymore I don’t feel like I helped anyone. Sorry dudes.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
#51
You're right, I am bitter. This is due to being mislead and played for a fool. I never asked to feel bitter towards women, experience has taught me that. I never had the skills or even the ability to notice if someone was interested in me, because i just never understood or knew how to react. I have never been able to make eye contact with anyone either, since i was a small child. A lot of different crap has made me this way. Every day I accept a little bit more that I am a hopeless cause and I could never be in a proper relationship with anyone.
I think you need a good dose of CBT. This kind of therapy goes a long way to help you become a more social creature, and defeat certain habits like not being able to look people in the eye. I've read that if you continuously look people in the eye from the moment you meet them, you have a higher chance of forming a connection with that person. If you won't look them in the eye, they'll easily assume you're just not interested in the conversation, or that you're in a hurry, etc. I wouldn't say you're hopeless, but I would say that there's a lot of work that you need to do. But if you truly believe that you're hopeless and that there's no way around it, then you are. It's one of those tried and true cases where you are what you believe yourself to be.

I don't think anyone who hasn't dealt with other people hasn't been played a fool at some point. But every experience is unique, and every experience is, in a big way, shaped by the way you see yourself and others before it even happens.
 

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
#52
You're right, I am bitter. This is due to being mislead and played for a fool. I never asked to feel bitter towards women, experience has taught me that. I never had the skills or even the ability to notice if someone was interested in me, because i just never understood or knew how to react. I have never been able to make eye contact with anyone either, since i was a small child. A lot of different crap has made me this way. Every day I accept a little bit more that I am a hopeless cause and I could never be in a proper relationship with anyone.
It's understandable to be frustrated and feel that it's hopeless when you try like this. But, you know, it's like playing a game. If you're feeling angry and bitter about it, take a step back and take a break. I don't think women are rejecting you out of spite. People can't really help who they like. And I think, from what I've read, getting rejected a lot is normal. It hurts, I know. So don't feel bad if you have to bow out for a while to recover.

But, honestly, relationships can be really difficult to maintain, at times. It's hard trying to consistently find peace with someone and love them every day. I'm not saying it's not worth it, but it isn't something you should just rush headlong into. Make peace with your bitterness; don't hold a grudge against all women, okay? And then, when/if you're ready, try again. You have people that can help you on here and, most likely, in real life that can teach you how to attract someone.
 

lifesnotfair

Well-known member
#53
It's understandable to be frustrated and feel that it's hopeless when you try like this. But, you know, it's like playing a game. If you're feeling angry and bitter about it, take a step back and take a break. I don't think women are rejecting you out of spite. People can't really help who they like. And I think, from what I've read, getting rejected a lot is normal. It hurts, I know. So don't feel bad if you have to bow out for a while to recover.

But, honestly, relationships can be really difficult to maintain, at times. It's hard trying to consistently find peace with someone and love them every day. I'm not saying it's not worth it, but it isn't something you should just rush headlong into. Make peace with your bitterness; don't hold a grudge against all women, okay? And then, when/if you're ready, try again. You have people that can help you on here and, most likely, in real life that can teach you how to attract someone.
Ultimately its loneliness that does me in. It really hurts someday's when you have nobody and it basically sucks all the energy out of you. As for people helping me out, unless they can physically be in the same room and help me pick up on signals and body language, I have no friggin clue what to do, how to react, or how to deal with it.
 

lily

Well-known member
#54
we have tried to help but another thing is if you want a relationship you just have to keep on trying and be willing to be rejected. That's life, people get rejected
 

lily

Well-known member
#55
And what i just mean is that both women and men can get rejected but there's probably a way you can get around to it.
 

lily

Well-known member
#57
I'd say the more people you meet the less chances of getting rejected but it's not always true, you also have to have an eye of who suits you.
 

lily

Well-known member
#59
I think you need a good dose of CBT. This kind of therapy goes a long way to help you become a more social creature, and defeat certain habits like not being able to look people in the eye. I've read that if you continuously look people in the eye from the moment you meet them, you have a higher chance of forming a connection with that person. If you won't look them in the eye, they'll easily assume you're just not interested in the conversation, or that you're in a hurry, etc. I wouldn't say you're hopeless, but I would say that there's a lot of work that you need to do. But if you truly believe that you're hopeless and that there's no way around it, then you are. It's one of those tried and true cases where you are what you believe yourself to be.

I don't think anyone who hasn't dealt with other people hasn't been played a fool at some point. But every experience is unique, and every experience is, in a big way, shaped by the way you see yourself and others before it even happens.
For my new year's resolution I'm going for cbt therapy for my own eye contact issue, the meds don't help, it can only help a little.
 
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