It's simple

[Overload]

I've been making a LOT of progress with anxiety-related issues lately. The solution? Live in the moment. Don't make assumptions about what other people might be thinking about you. Even if they are judging you, who cares? Why should you be affected by that? As long as you are happy with yourself, that's all that matters. Life is an eternal NOW. Stop living in your head, and live in the moment.

And yes, it really is this simple, no matter how much that other person in your head will tell you otherwise.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I've been making a LOT of progress with anxiety-related issues lately. The solution? Live in the moment. Don't make assumptions about what other people might be thinking about you. Even if they are judging you, who cares? Why should you be affected by that? As long as you are happy with yourself, that's all that matters. Life is an eternal NOW. Stop living in your head, and live in the moment.

And yes, it really is this simple, no matter how much that other person in your head will tell you otherwise.

i agree-that's awesome

 

[Snowdrop]

I know that everything that you said is right. Everyone else knows it is right. But why does my head tell me a different thing? when I'm actually placed in that situation, surrounded by people, all I can think about is everything I shouldn't be thinking about. Negative thoughts are the worst ):

 

[JamesSmith]

I get that we shouldn't worry about what others think, and i'm at a point in my life where i've cared the least about what others think. But, what i've also figured out is it still sucks being around people. Like, I don't LIKE being around people. I found out it has nothing to do with thinking negative thoughts, my mind and body just don't like being with strangers. I naturally feel uncomfortable. All the living in the moment and not caring what people think hasn't changed the my uncomfortableness around people. It's helped a little, but I still don't like being around people.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I know that everything that you said is right. Everyone else knows it is right. But why does my head tell me a different thing? when I'm actually placed in that situation, surrounded by people, all I can think about is everything I shouldn't be thinking about. Negative thoughts are the worst ):

maybe since you know their negative-you can stop thinking them based on that.

like "this thought isn't helping me at all so I am going to replace it with one that does", or no thoughts at all just recognize your breath/breathing and being in the moment-try to stop living in your head like Overload said he/she does and it helps them. Just be present not in the past or future.

 

[Overload]

I know that everything that you said is right. Everyone else knows it is right. But why does my head tell me a different thing? when I'm actually placed in that situation, surrounded by people, all I can think about is everything I shouldn't be thinking about. Negative thoughts are the worst ):

I know how it is.
The trick is to try turning off that voice of fear, having a quiet mind. It's not the easiest thing to do, and the voice will return from time to time, but it gets easier and easier to control.

 

[Lea]

I get that we shouldn't worry about what others think, and i'm at a point in my life where i've cared the least about what others think. But, what i've also figured out is it still sucks being around people. Like, I don't LIKE being around people. I found out it has nothing to do with thinking negative thoughts, my mind and body just don't like being with strangers. I naturally feel uncomfortable. All the living in the moment and not caring what people think hasn't changed the my uncomfortableness around people. It's helped a little, but I still don't like being around people.

Exactly. That´s what I wanted to say as well, people who don´t have this will never understand that it´s not a fear of what other people think. I couldn´t care less, in fact I got used to the thought others think I am an idiot. But this is irrational, the awkwardness is just a feeling in the body, for example I have huge difficulty with eye contact, it causes me a lot of stress.. It´s tiring, stressfull.. It´s as if something suffocated you all the time when you´re with people.

 

[Overload]

Exactly. That´s what I wanted to say as well, people who don´t have this will never understand that it´s not a fear of what other people think. I couldn´t care less, in fact I got used to the thought others think I am an idiot. But this is irrational, the awkwardness is just a feeling in the body, for example I have huge difficulty with eye contact, it causes me a lot of stress.. It´s tiring, stressfull.. It´s as if something suffocated you all the time when you´re with people.

Maybe it has something to do with trust? I don't know. I also have difficulty with eye contact.
I'm more of a solitary person by nature, never have cared for being around tons of people at once.
This thread was mostly meant for those who constantly worry about what others think of them.

 

[mismeek]

I've been making a LOT of progress with anxiety-related issues lately. The solution? Live in the moment. Don't make assumptions about what other people might be thinking about you. Even if they are judging you, who cares? Why should you be affected by that? As long as you are happy with yourself, that's all that matters. Life is an eternal NOW. Stop living in your head, and live in the moment.

And yes, it really is this simple, no matter how much that other person in your head will tell you otherwise.

wow... does this really work for you?!

 

[Overload]

wow... does this really work for you?!

Yes, it has been helping me a lot actually.
Everything I'm saying here has been said by many others. I'm just trying to pass it along.

I think it has a lot to do with not dwelling on things. If something awkward happens, and you keep thinking about it, it's going to snowball into something monstrous. If it is dropped right after it happens, no problems. It's a matter of tearing down barriers as quickly as possible after they're put up, while they're still relatively weak, and not fortifying them.

 

[Snowdrop]

maybe since you know their negative-you can stop thinking them based on that.

like "this thought isn't helping me at all so I am going to replace it with one that does", or no thoughts at all just recognize your breath/breathing and being in the moment-try to stop living in your head like Overload said he/she does and it helps them. Just be present not in the past or future.

But I don't understand ): What if the present is just as worse? If people around me are having a fun conversation and I feel like I can't join in as I have nothing to say, how is living in the present going to work? Not discarding your advice but I don't see how it can help me here :/

 

[Lea]

Maybe it has something to do with trust? I don't know. I also have difficulty with eye contact.
I'm more of a solitary person by nature, never have cared for being around tons of people at once.
This thread was mostly meant for those who constantly worry about what others think of them.

I don't know if there is any rational reason to this, I rather think it's completely irrational and unfounded. A trait of autism/asperger syndrome. Recently I read a letter my mom sent to the psychiatrist. She said I was very fearful as a child, often waking up in the middle of the night screaming, I was screaming when we went out and met strange people or strange objects (red cloth in the bush, dead animal in blood or a dirty abandoned tow from the tractor). I had phobia of returning to these places long time after. I think I was born with something, don't know what, can be memories from previous lives or.. . Anyway now recently I was diagnosed with asperger syndrome.

 

[MollyBeGood]

But I don't understand ): What if the present is just as worse? If people around me are having a fun conversation and I feel like I can't join in as I have nothing to say, how is living in the present going to work? Not discarding your advice but I don't see how it can help me here :/

Hey SnowDrop, ilove your name and pretty icon btw-
and yes... I ha
i completely understand your anxiety....I have been there many times and you're right I am not sure how to appy this to that situation. (mindfulness) I can say only to try your best to converse, without freezing-up or saying something stupid or getting drunk all things i have done and don't recommend to you. I can tell you that i have the same issues and yeah it's really hard when it seems like everyone's having fun around you. Wish I knew what to tell you

 

[Overload]

But I don't understand ): What if the present is just as worse? If people around me are having a fun conversation and I feel like I can't join in as I have nothing to say, how is living in the present going to work? Not discarding your advice but I don't see how it can help me here :/

Sounds like you're putting pressure on yourself. If you don't have anything to say at that moment, don't worry about it. Whenever I try forcing myself to think of something to say, I can't think of anything.

 

[Snowdrop]

Sounds like you're putting pressure on yourself. If you don't have anything to say at that moment, don't worry about it. Whenever I try forcing myself to think of something to say, I can't think of anything.

Yeah it's something I've gotten quite used to :/ I guess it's also because I don't find any interest in conversation, yet I still want to say something and be involved. Kind of goes round in a circle, but yes I understand your point -I force myself to say/do things way too much.

 

[3lefts]

"Now" won't last forever, that makes it all the more worth living in.

 

[lavender]

I've been making a LOT of progress with anxiety-related issues lately. The solution? Live in the moment. Don't make assumptions about what other people might be thinking about you. Even if they are judging you, who cares? Why should you be affected by that? As long as you are happy with yourself, that's all that matters. Life is an eternal NOW. Stop living in your head, and live in the moment.

And yes, it really is this simple, no matter how much that other person in your head will tell you otherwise.

I've tried this, and it is really helpful and works. The problem for me was I have agoraphobia, and even though I felt so much better, I still couldn't move past certain things, and it became more painful being in that moment.
So.. maybe it's not that simple :S

 

[Kiwong]

Thanks for the advice Overload. I think it is called mindfullness, I've been practicing it a fair bit lately. I tend to see a lot more of the things around me. It is amazing what you miss seeing hearing in the world when you are trapped in a landslide of useless thoughts.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Thanks for the advice Overload. I think it is called mindfullness, I've been practicing it a fair bit lately. I tend to see a lot more of the things around me. It is amazing what you miss seeing hearing in the world when you are trapped in a landslide of useless thoughts.

I thought this was also what he was referring to, Mindfulness..yes.

How to apply it to uncomfortable social situations would be helpful to know. Like I can do it when I am working -out or washing dishes but what to do with Mindfulness when in highly uncomfortable social situations - does anyone know?

where's the zen master when u need one LoL

 

[Minty]

Ahhh. Thinking positively doesn't work for me because it's my default way of thinking anyways. The minute I start feeling anxious, I think about how irrational it is. Despite that, the feeling just doesn't go away. That's where I'm broken. I bought a CBT book once and it was a complete waste of money because everything it told me to do, I do anyways.

I'm thinking the hardware is broken, not the software