It's obvious that I'll never have a relationship b/c I'm not getting any younger...
- Thread starter Misfortune
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mrb
Well-known member
shes from ireland mate , and im moving over there end of jan next year , im just sorting things out in uk first , its a big move for me , funny thing was she was a moderator on a chat room when we met , she just singled me out cos i was new to chat , she went ohhhh a newbie
it all started from there really , my type was very slow as i was new to computers , but she had the patience of a saint waiting for my slow type reply , and she will need the patience of a saint when im living with her lol naaa we get on great like the best of freinds , we have the same interests in life , walking biking picnics , mostly the simple things in life i even brought a holiday home for us in bulgaria just to spend time together on the black sea coast .... so yea next jan ill be over there growing my little vegies in the back garden , um how do you grow vegies by the way im sure ill learn .....i guess i was a late starter in life to find happiness , had a ton of insecuritys to work through first .. but hey ho got there in the end ......
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mrb
Well-known member
its ireland mate , if its not raining it looks like its going to rain , and then it rains lol
Meisiemel
Well-known member
Don't give up - I used to think I had a better chance of landing on Mars or of becoming the president of the country than I had of even going on a date, let alone getting a boyfriend.
To my utter astonishment, I actually did get a boyfriend. I was kissed for the very first time at the age of 45.
That was 5 years ago and I'm still with that man.
I used to read articles about social phobia with quotes from women who'd mention their husbands, and I'd always think: "how on earth can you get a husband if you have this condition?"
I still can't believe it when I think about it, that I ended up getting a man after all.
To my utter astonishment, I actually did get a boyfriend. I was kissed for the very first time at the age of 45.
That was 5 years ago and I'm still with that man.
I used to read articles about social phobia with quotes from women who'd mention their husbands, and I'd always think: "how on earth can you get a husband if you have this condition?"
I still can't believe it when I think about it, that I ended up getting a man after all.
mrb
Well-known member
Misfortune
Banned
I really don't like to hear about other people's romance successes, & once more you had your past relationships, I haven't.. So I don't see what we have in common.. Sorry to sound so rude. I also don't feel comfortable hearing about people's divorces & bad relationships. To me there's a difference between Haven't had a relationship in a while..and Never experience a relationship.. :
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I really don't like to hear about other people's romance successes, & once more you had your past relationships, I haven't.. So I don't see what we have in common.. Sorry to sound so rude. I also don't feel comfortable hearing about people's divorces & bad relationships. To me there's a difference between Haven't had a relationship in a while..and Never experience a relationship.. :
Why are you mad at mrb?
It is not his fault
Felgen
Well-known member
I really don't like to hear about other people's romance successes, & once more you had your past relationships, I haven't.. So I don't see what we have in common.. Sorry to sound so rude. I also don't feel comfortable hearing about people's divorces & bad relationships. To me there's a difference between Haven't had a relationship in a while..and Never experience a relationship.. :
Did you read Meisiemel's post?
stephen
Well-known member
Both good points Fudgy. I think it is too easy to just implode when you suffer SA. You spend so much time alone with your thoughts. I understand the hurt of being alone and wishing for someone to come along and share your life. But getting into a relationship doesn't fix SA and you don't "skip off into the sunset". Communication is vital to maintain a healthy relationship. I have been married for 9 years and have two beautiful kids but my SA still haunts me. Most of the 'friends' I have I know through my wife and in a crisis I don't feel like there is anyone I can turn to. It's nice to have someone to hide away with but it's just not practical or even reasonable to rely on one person to fix all your problems. I think you kind of need to work on your anxiety and getting past the hurt and resentment before you go in. I don't know I'm trying to work through it (SA) now but my marriage would have been a hell of a lot smoother if I could just talk to my wife openly about problems that inevitably arise in any relationship.
I think what I'm trying to say is you need to love yourself before you can expect someone else to. I kind of feel like 90% of a relationship is a projection of your own internal crap so if you hate yourself then that's all you are going to see in other people. Sorry I'm getting all pop psychologist... I think I'll shutup now.
Frick, I wish I could stop editing this stupid post...
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mrb
Well-known member
I really don't like to hear about other people's romance successes, & once more you had your past relationships, I haven't.. So I don't see what we have in common.. Sorry to sound so rude. I also don't feel comfortable hearing about people's divorces & bad relationships. To me there's a difference between Haven't had a relationship in a while..and Never experience a relationship.. :
ahhh but by telling you my story it shows never to give up lol , cos you never know whats around the corner
I really don't like to hear about other people's romance successes, & once more you had your past relationships, I haven't.. So I don't see what we have in common.. Sorry to sound so rude. I also don't feel comfortable hearing about people's divorces & bad relationships. To me there's a difference between Haven't had a relationship in a while..and Never experience a relationship.. :
I see the value in what he posted, he was a late bloomer and had never kissed a girl until his mid 20's (if my memory serves me), so maybe that is an encouragement to some people here in their late teens/early 20's, I too was similar and a late bloomer, I thought I'd be single forever and was humiliatingly mocked by my peers both at school and at college.
Did I get lucky? no, I met someone who saw my vulnerable state and they were an emotional bully who took great pleasure in emotionally torturing me and humiliating me infront of their freinds.
My tip is to fix yourself enough to function and then think about a relationship, what mrb said about never giving up is very true. Don't give up trying to get better and avoid bitterness and envy at all cost!
fudgy
1
I really don't like to hear about other people's romance successes, & once more you had your past relationships, I haven't.. So I don't see what we have in common.. Sorry to sound so rude. I also don't feel comfortable hearing about people's divorces & bad relationships. To me there's a difference between Haven't had a relationship in a while..and Never experience a relationship.. :
all these peeps come and spew out their personal lives to reaffirm for you that there is love to be had and you respond with bitterness and jelousy !!
stop moaning and start sorting out your issues, and stop expecting the world to stand back and not say anything incase its upsets YOU
and just out of interest
you dont want to hear about others success and happiness in relationships and you dont want to hear about others divorces and bad relationships !!!!!!!
so am I right in presuming all you want to hear about it people who are like you ?? right ??
who are you ?? the lord mayor of forums ?
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Misfortune
Banned
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YOU GUYS REALLY ARE PISSING ME OFF!!!
I think that is why you are having problems, you have problems with advice that you don't agree with. Any relationship or even freindship requires a tolerance of other points of view, maybe tackle that and all the other things may fit inplace
seafolly
Well-known member
I think it's worth pointing out that mrb's post was perfectly suitable because a lot of women (and men) hear "divorced" and automatically wonder what happened to make it go sour which can't be easy to deal with when trying to move on with your life. If you take the same guy, clone him, slap the "never had a relationship" label on one and "divorced" on another, people are going to react to that differently. He found a woman willing to look past that, just as you're capable of finding a woman to look past your own label.
mrb
Well-known member
you know what i think we all need to chill and have a nice cup of tea and it doesnt stop there , i think iv got some fruit cake as well , oh and some nice chocolate kit kat bars then we can all sip our tea eat our cake and chill , nothing like a nice cup of tea to calm the nerves ....... hey even in world war 2 the soldiers used to stop shooting for 15 min just to put the kettle on
i think we all need to chill and have a nice cup of tea and it doesnt stop there , i think iv got some fruit cake as well , oh and some nice chocolate kit kat bars then we can all sip our tea eat our cake and chill , nothing like a nice cup of tea to calm the nerves ....... hey even in world war 2 the soldiers used to stop shooting for 15 min just to put the kettle on - Status