Is this all in my head?

[WishingICould]

One of my (many) issues is when i'm speaking to someone, particularly at work, i feel like they're looking at me strangely like there's something wrong with me. Even if they haven't said or done anything in particular it just "feels" like they're looking at me strangely or that they dislike me.

 

[FallenFeathers]

Short answer, yes

When you suffer from anything like anxiety or depression, it's like a we've had some sort of filter put over our thinking and how we perceive situations.

Sub consciously and sometimes even apparently, we are just constantly looking for proof to back up this belief that were somehow worthless, a freak.. weird whatever our core self defeating belief is

 

[Kiwong]

People look strangely at me because I look strangely at them.

 

[BlackPuma]

Generally people judge you as little as you judge them. Everyone has things about themselves that they're not proud of, but when someone is self concious, has low self esteem, social anxiety, ect, it can feel as though everyone sees your flaws crystal clear. While in reality they might not notice yours any more clearly then you notice theirs.

Unless they tell you exactly what they think, it's just an assumption. To combat it, try to assume that everyone likes you until they say otherwise. It's an exercise I found helpful when I went through the same thing a year ago.

 

[Esperance]

Yes it's you. I have that kind of thing too. If someone laugh and I can hear it, I will think, they are making fun of me. I know this isn't true but I always take that personally. But the truth is that most of the people don't care about the others unless they are famous or incredibly good-looking

 

[Xervello]

I feel like that when I'm with more than one person, but you know, if I could relax then I wouldn't look uptight and strange. Then they wouldn't treat me like I'm strange.

I know, right!? We're our own problems that way.

 

[vj288]

Unless they tell you exactly what they think, it's just an assumption. To combat it, try to assume that everyone likes you until they say otherwise. It's an exercise I found helpful when I went through the same thing a year ago.

Yes, do this^ None of us are mind readers, don't try to be one. Even if people were looking at you funny, you'd have no way of knowing why or if it even had anything to do with you.

 

[Richey]

Yes !!! Do that ^^ above. Its the 100% solution. Until someone actually verbalises something about you that doesn't please you then assume they have nice thoughts. Most people are worried about their own problems and themselves. There was a study that showed that people use "I" in conversation alot. People are self directed for the most part.

So unless you start doing backflips or you shout alot then assume that people are thinking about themselves.

It means you can get on with your day with alot more ease.

One last thing. Avoid making eye contact with everyone. That can cause alot of anxiety. I'm not saying don't look at people. But when you make eye contact all the time with no purpose then it can cause alot of self consciousness. So a way of doing that is to jusst focus on what you are doing, focus on the algorithm of the task at hand and don't look up and around at people. Then whilst you are only focussed on the algorithm or steps of what you are doing, in your own space then you can relax a bit more.

Try to imagine that there are walls around your "working" area and that the people in the distances surrounding you can't even see you.

Same with talking to someone. Try to imagine that its just you and them in the room. (easier said than done), but remember that the loudness of conversation within a metre of you and the other person won't be loud to people in the distance, especially if it's a noisy work place. Most people will just see you standing there with the other person. But it's hard to conceptualise that if you are anxious at work, but it's nice to remember.

 

[squidgee]

Normally I would say yes it's all in your head, but sometimes, just sometimes they genuinely might think you're strange or they dislike you. Probably not, but a possibility. It's that possibility as unlikely as it may be that keeps me from feeling okay around people.

 

[Kiwong]

Yes, chances are it is

Tune your mind to a peaceful frequency instead

 

[Hellhound]

It's most likely the fact that you feel insecure about yourself and you project it onto others.

 

[Lea]

There is no smoke without fire, I don´t think it´s all exclusively in our heads.

 

[Esperance]

There is no smoke without fire, I don´t think it´s all exclusively in our heads.

Well, I'm sure in the past, most of us had bad stories where people talked bad about them but that nobody really cares about us now and that we make up those stories
Like in school, everybody use to make fun of me and that's a fact but now, I believe that people in the street makes fun of me when I'm sure nobody cares about me just like if people close to me laugh or if someone honk around me, I will think this is because of me when they probably didn't even saw me