Is shyess related to narcissim?

KiaKaha

Banned
Ok that statement might be a little extreme, but i have been thinking about it lately. Correct me if I am wrong, but shyness is anxiety caused by the feeling that others are watching and judging you... but in reality people are far too self absorbed to really give a damn about you at all... yet the feeling still persists. So in that way, thinking that other people actually scrutinizing and paying attention to you is quite unrealistic.... others think about themselves far more than spending energy to watch other people...

What do you think? Is that an accurate observation...? The more I think about it, the less anxious I feel around others (particularly in day to day situations... socializing is a little harder)
 
I have often wondered about this myself...especially lately. Another example of this is when I am forced by my spouse to attend social events with people whom I feel I have nothing in common with. These situations are excrutiating for me...not only because I feel out of place or scrutinized, but also because I feel like most of the time people aren't intelligent enough to appreciate or understand anything I might have to say during conversations on certain topics that come up throughout the event. Later on I feel guilty for having such an elitist attitude.
 

*Amy*

Well-known member
That's what Sigmund Freud said: that we are so self-centered that we think all eyes are upon us, and that when in a conversation, we are too busy loving ourselves to care about what the other person is saying. I don't know very well... Sometimes, when I feel a little confident (only a little) I must admit I try in some way to catch people's attention, just to make me think I am a little interesting.
 

DespairSoul

Well-known member
Gosh,damn wtf haha. Maybe we are so much self-concetred that we are realy close to narcissmus. My goodnes can be this really true? Now i dont know what to say make so confused because u are right with that people dont have time watch others because they care about them selfs but some still do. I dont know but i know this what i say and i will say this always they really watch me no matter what i dont say everyone but a lot. Thats mean is less arogant people as i was thiking hih coz this one what have time to watch me actually have nothing do with narcissmus???=))
 

Untamed88

Well-known member
Lol, I never thought about it like that. It's narcissism in that way but then the shyness comes from knowing you won't stand up favourably to everyone else. I think people would be looking at me in the first place because I am so ugly and then my personality would take over because I am so socially inept.
But yeah, it is narcissism to assume they give damn at all.
 
You mean in a way, we are thinking that we are constantly thinking about people looking at us, and see how good we are? Helll no :p We actually think people can see our insecurities, that's why We worry so much about people viewing us. But we'd rather don't, that's why we avoid it. ' Social Phobic's aren't longing for attention. In fact, we don't even want to be in the middle of attention for example in a social situation. We'd rather stay in the background, So I don't think that's true. But we DO think that everyone can see the way we feel, But I don't think that has something to do with Nascissim, I think we just need to feel safe in those situations, I think people who do feel safe, and are constantly talking about people watching them, I think they ARE dealing with Narcissim, I mean the people who are feeling like the queen of the world, They think they are the best, and they want to be in the spot lights, but we deal with anxiety, that means we'd rather not be watched, only if we can deal with that, and feel safe with it.
But you have a good question here. Good topic :)

By the way, People might think I am Narcistic, because I love singing, But that's just my hobby, I'm not a stupid attention seeker on YouTube.
It's my passion, that's different. But I do love getting feedback on my music, Just to feel happy with my stuff. But some people have called me ''Attention ****'''. But I think those people are just FLAMING me.

But in fact, I hate talking about myself goodly, I hate saying that I'm good. Because I'm afraid people will think I'm narcistic. But I'm not at all.
Maybe that's why I don't love myself. Maybe we SA people need some narcissim in fact, LOL.
 

Darryl

Well-known member
I've said that all a long "everyday people don't care what we think and do"

Its the SA/ Avpd etc in us THAT cares, not us the disorder.

If we had our way would would carry on as everyday people- but we listen to that loud voice in our sub conscious.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
nar·cis·sism
   /ˈnɑrsəˌsɪzɛm/ Show Spelled[nahr-suh-siz-em] Show IPA
–noun
1.
inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
2.
Psychoanalysis . erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.




In other words, no. That's like saying paranoia and narcissism are the same thing. Everyone is the center of their own universe, but from there things can go wrong in a lot of different ways.
 

Confuseddd

Well-known member
We, or me i should say... View ourselfs in a "negative light" during social situations constantly having feelings of low self worth thus inept in comparison to others.
Narcistic tendancies are characterized by feelings of inflated self worth or rather always seeing yourself in a "positive light" therefore acting the part in conversation wether in a large group or in one on one talking. We are only similar in one way , as in many people in general , we think of ourselfs and others judging us more then we think "these other people are just like me"
So you can make the comparison but I find narcisim and anxiety brought self centeredness are different and seperate complexes all together brought on my different stimulus
 

goldenholds

Well-known member
For me I don't think its so much that I think everyone is watching me, it's usually clear that most people don't pay much attention. It's more that when I am in social situations, I just "feel" bad, regardless if I think anyone is watching or judging.

And I also know that it only takes the one person out of a thousand to confirm the negative thoughts. And even though I don't think everyone is paying attention to me, I know that the odds are good that someone eventually will judge me negatively. And as funny as it may seem, the fear of that one can be as scary as them all. And eventually it will happen, and when it does I can not cope with it. And so the only way to prevent it is to avoid it.

Thankfully, I often cope much better now.
 
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