Is highschool the hardest place for Social Anxiety?

[FriendlessGirl]

Not that I'm saying its easy in the real world. But is it true that as you grow older people judge you less cos they're more matured now? And also you learn to accept yourself better? I have an aunt who has SA as well,she is 30 years old now and seems very contended with herself. I've also read that some people in their 30's and 40's here say that its much better for them now. So I'm just curious about this(btw I'm in highschool atm and having a real hard time here)

 

[Agent_Violet]

I'd venture to say SA is hardest to deal with as a younger person. but then again, depending on where you work as an adult, it can feel a LOT like high school all over again.

Sa is just plain hard. But those little naturally socially at ease chicks(and guys) at high school really just make life miserable for people like us.

 

[thomas90]

Yeah, it does become much easier once you leave school, tbh it was when i left school that i found myself and my life began! But i had it pretty hard at school. I would say that school is the 'hardest' place to have SA. It may even be where it all started for me!

My advice, try to smile and come up with lots of small talk, works for me at college

 

[Moo]

I'm only young myself (almost 19) so I don't have much worldly experience yet but I'll still try and help.

The main benefit of leaving school is that you're in a much less closed system and you can more easily distance yourself from people that are no good in your life. There's always going to be difficult times (and people). I guess you just have to hope that one day everything will fall into place and you'll establish a routine and a life you're comfortable with even if it's hard to get there. I don't always follow my own advice but try and stay positive.

 

[Insane1]

Yeah I'm at highschool and it's really ****ty.. I hate when I have to go infront of the class,or when people stare at me...
My mom had SA aswell,now she's 40 and seems to be very sociable
Meh.. highschool life sucks.

 

[MrJones]

Highschool alone is hard. Living with SA alone is hard.

So if you have SA and you're going to highschool it won't be easy. Buuut probably in a couple of years it all will be easier. Time can help, but you have to work hard to get better too

 

[SM1010]

High school was awful, and I never even got teased or bullied once. Middle and high school were pretty equal in awfulness.

Just make it through high school and you should feel a lot more at ease in college. Everyone is on their own agenda in college and they really don't give a crap about you so there isn't a feeling of being judged all the time (I'm talking purely classes, not college parties or whatever). At least for me that's how it felt.

 

[Glitch]

I wouldn't exactly say it gets easier, just different. You have more responsibilities. People probably are more mature in college, unless you're starting in a community college, which I hear is like high school extended. Plus when you start working, depending on the job, you have customers & coworkers/office politics to deal with. I don't know, high school was a drag but it wasn't really 'that' bad for me. I mostly slept/daydreamed through my classes and tried to stay invisible.

 

[Cecilia219]

High school and middle school were the WORST. Then, you leave home & have to grow up & do things for yourself and that helps you grow some confidence and lessen the SA. Also, in college it's true-- people from all different "cliques" come together and all those weird invisible divisions are erased. I loved college even with my SA. There is more anonymity & yet better connections with people without all the fakeness.

I truly believe every year it gets easier. I'm sure at 30 I'll be 10x more comfortable than I am at 23. Good luck!@

 

[Invisibleman]

Well im in highschool atm aswell and its really difficult. Group assignments are the worst,especially in one of my classes that i have where im the only guy. I hate lunch time, I hate free periods, I hate that I run into my crush around every corner and I basically have a seizure. schools pretty garbage when you have SA

 

[chrisjurban]

yeah, for me. i had very little self awareness in high school. of course, i'm only 19 now, but my therapist is very good, and there was so much stress that i was bound to come out changed. i have greater self awareness and my social skills are higher than they were so i'm able to produce kind of spontaneous conversation in places where i might not have been able to before.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

dunno~
I don't really leave my room enough to fairly say.
haha

 

[lil'b]

Yeah it's hard in high school. I constantly feel like people are watching me and judging me. I feel left out because everyone else seems to do sports or clubs or some extra curricular activity except me. I hate the classes I don't have friends in and it just feels so awkward. I struggle in school and I am too scared to ask questions when I need help because I feel like teachers will judge me. I feel like I don't fit in at all. Everyone seems to think of me as "that weird kid who never talks," but they don't know what I'm really going through and I wish I could just be myself at school. I'm sure it gets easier as we get older though.

 

[MikeyC]

Group assignments are the worst

Oh, far out, agreed so much. I hated group assignments and everyone just being difficult for no reason whatsoever. I much preferred to do work on my own.

I'm way out of high school now. Jaded people say that "school is the best time of your life", but, well, no. It isn't. In fact, it was one of the worst times. If I could turn back time to change how I was in high school, I would not do it because I wouldn't want to relive that garbage. Anyone with anxiety of any description will always find it hard.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

People say it's one of the highlights of a teen's life, but I never saw it that way. It was the complete opposite for me. I would cry almost every morning in bed before getting up to go to school and my heart felt like it was going to explode from beating so fast once I got there. You can only imagine how I felt every single day there, walking practically shoulder-to-shoulder in crowded halls filled with hundreds of arrogant, immature, narcissistic, inconsiderate people my age who always treated me and looked at me like an outsider. I can't really say it's the hardest place for Social Anxiety, but it will unfortunately be difficult for anyone with SA.

 

[userremoved]

People are more mature (for the most part) but the intensity of your anxiety will decide whether or not adult life is still rough. If you can at least work a job then you wont have to worry about being broke at least. But making friends actually seems more difficult as an adult in my opinion. Everyone is in different stages of life and it makes it hard to relate. For example, it would be kinda strange me hanging out with a bunch of married guys all the time. Plus they have responsibilities and priorities in life that makes things difficult.

 

[vj288]

I can't tell if college is actually worse. Instead of social anxiety, in college so far I've substituted avoidance to avoid the SA, and it's worked. After introductions on dorm floors after the very first couple weeks or so nobody really cared about what I was up to and left me alone because I didn't make myself accessible. For the past two years I haven't made any real friends as I've spent and constantly spend a lot of time away shut off from everyone else in my room. This has actually lowered the amount of anxiety and stress in my life by a lot.

As a sophomore in college I very much agree with this ^. In high school you have to see the same people everyday for 4, 6, 12 years sometimes and you really can't effectively hide. You're sort of forced to build relationships with people, and an aspect of that is socialization. College on the other hand, like Tigerlilja said, after those first few weeks no one really notices or cares about anything you do, if you want to be left alone it's extremely simple to accomplish. High school and College are sort of polar opposites for me, I'm coming from a small high school with 250 graduating class to a college campus with 12,000 students on it so the difference is felt very profoundly to me.

Not sure if it makes it an easier or harder place to have SA though. Personally, what makes High School seem like a harder place is it makes you confront your fears everyday. In high school there's a lot of things going on too, and SA is just one more thing that you may feel you don't need. I think this is why a lot of people "grow out it" after high school, all that other stuff that was so important in high school isn't anymore, sometimes one of those things is SA and when it isn't it allows the person to work on that issue now that the others are gone.

But I don't think it's the High School that makes it hard, but confronting that makes it hard, which after high school you don't have to do, either because you've grown from high school and it's not an issue anymore, or you're effectively able to avoid it. Basically what I'm saying is SA is hardest when you have to confront it, whenever that is.

 

[9407]

Well, I had to leave my normal high school that had 1000+ students0 and go to a special one because of my SA so I'd say it's pretty hard.

 

[Kiwong]

Personally I don't think I gets easier as you get older. High school was hell for me too, and university. Since going out into the adult world at times I've felt like I am back in High School. The bullying and judgement has continued throughout my life, and caused my social anxiety to get worse.