Impact SA has has had on your friends and family

[Lexington]

What impact has your social anxiety had on your family and friends?

I think my family(siblings) think I am kind of weird avoiding family get-togethers and reunions. But I feel nervous seeing them again thinking they will judge me for not making a lot of progress in my work-life. Some of family members can be quite blunt when it comes to conversation..."Why are you still at that damn factory for God's sake?" I've never been comfortable enough to "come out" and admit my social anxiety to them. Maybe I should.

Fortunately my partner is quite shy too and very understanding of my lack of assertiveness. Well, i guess afew times she has been disappointed I didn't "speak my mind" to some pushy salesmen who were at our front door once. Overall Ok though.

 

[Section_31]

My family doesnt understand my wife or me. Save for my cousin and his wife, theyre more openminded and supportive, even if they dont fully understand they ask what they can do to try to help. I love them to death.

My dad doesnt understand at all why we cant do some things. I love him to death but he oversimplifies it. HER family tries to pray it all away -.-. Not saying theres no merit in the power of belief but this isnt a spiritual problem.

Ive slowly withdrawn from any friends i once had when i was younger. Ive come to peace with it. However there are other areas that are affected. Co-workers dont understand why i never go out for happy hour with them on friday or anything of the sort. Mostly because outside of work all i have to talk about is star trek, videogames and computers...basically about 15 minutes worth maybe of convo. After that it just gets awkward and i dont want to be there.

I can def. relate Lex!

 

[lurknomore]

Family- much like yours, Lex, they don't seem to fully understand it, or try to oversimplify (my mom: "Just do things," my brother: "You're smarter than that"). As for friends... I don't have any. I think I lost touch with the few I had in high school, and one work friend years ago, because I simply never initiate anything, and they stopped making the effort to do things with me (or in the case of high school friends, I never did anything with them outside of school anyway). I don't think I was actually all that "close" with them anyway. I don't open up about myself with anyone- I try with family, but they don't seem to care much. Or if they do, they're too busy with their own problems, or simply don't know how to help- none of us are demonstrative/touchy/feely.

 

[Graeme1988]

I'd say my SA has had quite a bad impact on my family. I mean, it's only now that my mum and oldest sister realise how bad it is. And I'm only now getting the help and support I need, after 8 years of the symptoms

And the younger of 2 older sisters recently told me she feels like she doesn't have a brother because I rarely keep in touch with or talk to her, which really hurt. ::

 

[Lexington]

My dad doesnt understand at all why we cant do some things. I love him to death but he oversimplifies it. HER family tries to pray it all away -.-. Not saying theres no merit in the power of belief but this isnt a spiritual problem.

!

Don't feel so alone now reading posts like yours. Had to laugh about SA not being a spiritual problem!

Family- much like yours, Lex, they don't seem to fully understand it, or try to oversimplify (my mom: "Just do things," my brother: "You're smarter than that"). .

That's right. Oversimplify...is that a flaw common to extroverts?

And the younger of 2 older sisters recently told me she feels like she doesn't have a brother because I rarely keep in touch with or talk to her, which really hurt. ::

I'm afraid that might happen to me too.

 

[recluse]

I'm awful at keeping in touch with people. I feel uncomfortable even in the company of my parents and sister at times.

 

[bsammy]

well my problem isnt only SA but its a part but all of my friends from high school are gone now..i simply could never 'keep up' socially with them due to my extreme introversion, SA and dysthymia..they woud constantly call and want to hang out but i rarely ever did, it simply took too much effort..i rarely enjoyed it and it took me alot of energy to do things like that so i stopped.

im pretty much at peace with being a loner though but i often wonder what to do with myself now.

 

[MikeyC]

My dad doesnt understand at all why we cant do some things. I love him to death but he oversimplifies it.

Ah, your father sounds exactly like my best friend. Sometimes his advice is to "just call them," or "just go up to her and say hello." Nope, not that easy! I feel your pain, mate.

Co-workers dont understand why i never go out for happy hour with them on friday or anything of the sort. Mostly because outside of work all i have to talk about is star trek, videogames and computers...basically about 15 minutes worth maybe of convo. After that it just gets awkward and i dont want to be there.

Sometimes talking about your sex life or how wasted you got last weekend doesn't sound appealing. I don't know heaps about computers, video games, or Star Trek, but I would love to have a beer with you and talk about those things one day!

 

[Shyangel]

Me being the way I am affects my family alot. I haven't told them about my problems, but it's pretty damn obvious. I've avoided everything social situation my whole life and they always describe me as shy. They can also tell I'm depressed. I see there worry expressions all the time....My parents are always obsessing over how I feel and what they can do about it, so yeah, it causes them stress. I think my obvious depression is what worries them. My depression seems to honestly cause them pain.

 

[MikeyC]

I think my obvious depression is what worries them. My depression seems to honestly cause them pain.

I'm sorry this is happening, but at least they care for you. I think it's the same with my parents, too, although I'm not totally sure.

 

[Shyangel]

I'm sorry this is happening, but at least they care for you. I think it's the same with my parents, too, although I'm not totally sure.

I feel like ass when I look at them and I see a distinct expression of pain and worry...I makes me hate myself, but I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop being like this..I'm lucky, but I sometimes feel like things would be easier if they hated me..I wouldn't have to worry so much then.

 

[MikeyC]

I feel like ass when I look at them and I see a distinct expression of pain and worry...I makes me hate myself, but I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop being like this..I'm lucky, but I sometimes feel like things would be easier if they hated me..I wouldn't have to worry so much then.

Having your parents hate you certainly would not make things easier. It would just make you more depressed that they don't care and you don't want that at all.

I don't know about your parents but my mum once said she thinks she made a mistake raising me, and that's why I have depression. Well, it's kind of true (long story), but not entirely true. My dad probably worries but in a different way.

Don't hate yourself.

 

[Shyangel]

Having your parents hate you certainly would not make things easier. It would just make you more depressed that they don't care and you don't want that at all.

I don't know about your parents but my mum once said she thinks she made a mistake raising me, and that's why I have depression. Well, it's kind of true (long story), but not entirely true. My dad probably worries but in a different way.

Don't hate yourself.

Yeah, that's probably true. Feeling like anyone hates you can't be beneficial.
I've had my ups and downs with my parents, they certainly haven't been perfect, but they don't seem to blame me. It seems like they blame themselves, which irritates me. My problems certainly aren't all because of them, though my mom has certainly helped it. I'm sorry you had that said too you, Mikey.:: I'm sure your parents worry about you they just don't know how to show it.

 

[MikeyC]

Yeah, that's probably true. Feeling like anyone hates you can't be beneficial.
I've had my ups and downs with my parents, they certainly haven't been perfect, but they don't seem to blame me. It seems like they blame themselves, which irritates me. My problems certainly aren't all because of them, though my mom has certainly helped it. I'm sorry you had that said too you, Mikey.:: I'm sure your parents worry about you they just don't know how to show it.

Especially if it's coming from your parents, it's not going to be beneficial at all!

Everyone has their ups and downs with parents, as it's just a natural part of growing up and changing. It's just good that you have parents that care for you in that way, Angel. You're quite lucky.