I'm terrified of the future...

[zav943]

Hey everyone,

I think I've been doing OK for the last couple of days. I've been eating healthy and trying to stay in shape (though still I have no social life outside a handful of people, one of whom I like but she seems interested in others).

I've just ended my work term and I'm going back to school, which is ok...I'm planning on trying to get more involved with volunteer organizations this year as I find a lot of satisfaction in helping less fortunate people.

But...this is it. This is my last year...last year of school...and then what?

I came here to Canada because I used to live in a very traditional society where your parents charted your life out for you from birth. Here, it's all up to me. It's a good responsibility but one that I'm not sure I'm up for. I am TERRIFIED of what the future holds for me. I'm even more scared of failure. I have no idea what I'm good at, no clue as to what I want to do, no 'soul mate'...nothing to hold on to. I am capable of achieving things, and I can do great things if given the opportunity, but I have no direction at all. And my low self-esteem is definitely not helping.

What do you guys think? Do you have that as well

 

[PunkRotten]

I shake my head every time I see posts like this. You have a "small handful of friends". You know, that's alot better than most here. Some people wish they just had 1 person in their life! You have a job and go to college, again that's alot better than most. Some people can't even afford college, they just don't have the privilege or opportunity. And for some its a challenge just to leave their house! I just don't get it, do you ever stop and look around and be grateful for anything? Sorry for sounding harsh, but some people need to wake up.


Why don't you try thinking more about your values instead of this goal-based life? That might help you better with discovering who you are and what you want out of life. With a value-based life you can't fail. Stop complaining about what you don't have. And stop complaining about not having a soul mate. Did you know, that's something that isn't entitled to us? Live your life and make friends find like-minded people and maybe one day if you meet a nice girl, who knows what might happen. Until then stop complaining like its something that's owed to you.


Again, sorry is it sounds harsh, but I feel this is probably the best response you will get rather than the typical sympathy responses.

 

[Remus]

Again, sorry is it sounds harsh, but I feel this is probably the best response you will get rather than the typical sympathy responses.

Yes it does sound harsh, maybe use a little tact in future or positive reinforcement.

 

[IamThisOne]

I feel the same way. I don't have a clue as to what the future has in store for me except failure and failure then death. Once I get out of college I am going to be viewed as a f*** up to everyone because I won't be able to get a job and I'll be stuck living with my grandmother with no friends and no girlfriend.

Perhaps you could just view it as an adventure. Just see where the world takes you. I don't know, I'm really not the kind of person to be giving advice.

 

[Kiwong]

I wish I was your age. You've got your best years still ahead of you.

 

[Feathers]

You are talking about volunteering. I think that's a great idea!

You may meet interesting people there, even girls or soulmates (depending in which areas you volunteer.)

What are the things that make you most angry in the world? What are your values?

You don't have to go back if you don't want to - or is it required by your visa? Check the details. Can you go to another country if you can't stay there? Some people even get jobs in non-profit organisations and work worldwide.

It's good to get some work experience if you can. Some companies even employ people who did internships or work experience or volunteering there. Check some interesting ones. Talk to people working there, get info..

 

[seaturtle]

Yes, it's extremely terrifying. However, consider yourself lucky because you have one more year left.

Worst comes to worst, you end up like me. Graduated college, can't find a job (ANYWHERE), frantically trying to figure out what I want to do with your future.

First thing to do is to make short term goals since you don't know what you want to do in the long run.
Understand that it is a completely natural feeling to be thrown into the real world after having your life mapped out for so long.

 

[Bones]

Give it time, do a bit of volunteer work in different sectors, you may discover something that lights your fire, something that you want to continue with for the rest of your life. And if you don't, you'll meet new interesting people who may be able to help you with your decisions.
Think about what you enjoy doing and then see if there are any jobs out there that require you to do that.

 

[Feathers]

A classmate of mine had no idea what to do after Uni, she ended up with a quite well-paid job and now has an international husband and a little girl.

Some of us had a totally defined idea and then realized it wasn't what we really wanted after all. (After trying some of it in RL.)

Some people thought 'I won't do this', and then ended up doing it and loving it!

So, future can sometimes be quite surprising...

Also, opportunities and careers we never knew of can suddenly exist in the future..

I'd recommend to not move back to your parents' home unless your vision of your future is the same as theirs. Even if you choose to move back to your home country for a while (or for longer), I recommend staying independent and only visiting when appropriate.

Yeah, I have fear of future too.. Sometimes terrible, sometimes okay.. So many world problems, sometimes it's difficult to know where to start.. I chose a few 'niches' where I think almost nothing - or too little - has been done in my country. Or there hasn't been a consistent approach. I still don't know if I can do it all (at least my little part), and how.. A lot of work will be necessary to fix or at least normalize some things that are wrong in this world.. Then again, never worry that there wouldn't be important things to do.. It's quite a challenge for all of us I guess...