It's interesting you have mentioned all of these things - depression, feeling suicidal, distractions, dreams & ambition, the man having to be "successful" ... and not knowing what's the point of it all.
I think i can see how they all fit-together (from what i've read & piecing it together). Depression is becoming a rapant disease in the so-called modern world. And along with depression, you get the suicidal urges. The dreams/ambition/success are all about the FUTURE (destination), not the PRESENT (journey), so if one is constantly focussed/worrying about the future, they will probably lose the ability to truly enjoy the present (journey).
Distractions are simply ways to blot-out the pain of not living properly "in the now", not addressing one's true emotional needs, worrying too much about the future, having too much pressure to succeed. Also of course constant neurotic thinking patterns do make one more prone to depression (without the depression i doubt there would be suicidal urges)
And what's the point of it all: Can't say for sure, but i do know that in my own times of serious depression, the main thing that was lacking was the ability to experience joy from little things, and maybe peace - very simple things, but whose absense leaves a HUGE whole in one's "soul", which maybe cannot be filled by anything else??
At least you're attempting to change your life, even if it's minor changes.
