I'm considering suicide, but

[Argamemnon]

What are you actively doing to fight with all ur might?

I've been doing voluntary work and I'm applying for jobs now (although I'm not able to work at all). Granted, I should contact old friends and relatives and stop living in complete social isolation, which is far more important than medication or other forms of therapy..

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist on monday. He will probably prescribe medication. But meds had never helped me in the past. I don't know what else I could do..

Like I said mental illness runs in our family. I think my main problem is social isolation. I have lived in my own room for the past 7 years without any social contact (very very little). I have spent most of my time behind my pc since the end of 2003..

I always suffered from anxiety and was prone to depression though. What can you do when you have a predisposition to mental illness? That's why I have lost all hope.

 

[GloomySunday]

What can you do when you have a predisposition to mental illness? That's why I have lost all hope.

Most competent professionals now agree that depression is a multi factoral event. There is no one cause for it, be it genetic or otherwise. For years, doctors subscribed to the view that it was purely biological, all down to brain chemistry - and so, therefore, it can be cured with a prescription drug.

Human beings are complex creatures. What causes depression can be a unique set of factors - tragic life events, our upbringing, our social environment, inability to socialise, diet, the side effects of drug abuse (prescription or recreational), genetics etc. To feel that your depression is somehow inevitiable ("a predisposition" as you called it) is just the illness talking. It's not common sense.

Depression cannot always be "won" but we can learn to live with it.

Take one day at a time and just keep making small, achievable, positive, moves forward - that could be seeing a counsellor, talking to people on here, helping others, exercising, keeping healthy, learning something...whatever, just keep on moving. Don't let it be your master. You are stronger than that. We all are. Be strong.

 

[oNecoOlazN]

all i know is i could beat god at scrabble and soccer anyday

heaven/hell are both imaginery lands

btw, do christian/muslim bookstores have a non-fiction section?

i sure hope you WAKE up from your fantasy land.

:roll:

 

[BIG_FRINGE]

mmkay.. alright i mean i've read the bible and I love how God is basically saying "water is aight, but wine is banging yo.", oh and don't mention the d word, (dinosaur) they hate that.

why would you want to go to heaven? its all vegan food and old people in cardigans. I'm better off in hell with the old school comics and interesting people.

purgotory is bad as well, all the magazines are old. there's only one "Top Gear" magazine and someones always already reading it.

okay i'll stop

i think by the time i finally croke im gonna have platinum membership care to hell lol
but u know what bollox. everything i do i feel is morally right. so i aint gonna let some book tell me otherwise. if god is real, he knows that everything i do, i do with good intentions. so yeh i get smashed, yeh i sometimes break the law, yeh i sin. alot! but i never intentionally phycally or emotionally hurt someone. so if i punch someone in the face but repent. im going heaven. fuck that. id rather have a reason to punch someone in face, do it, and still feel morally justified.
hell here i come.

 

[paula]

Argammenon or however its spelt,I was just looking up your profile and found this-'Can u imagine & comprehend the pain & suffering ur parents would feel if u killed urself? Please don't try the "They don't really care about me" bit either. B-cuz they're ur parents. They care ...' and this is what you said to someone else,you need to take time out from everything else and focus on you instead of others xx

 

[Argamemnon]

Argammenon or however its spelt,I was just looking up your profile and found this-'Can u imagine & comprehend the pain & suffering ur parents would feel if u killed urself? Please don't try the "They don't really care about me" bit either. B-cuz they're ur parents. They care ...' and this is what you said to someone else,you need to take time out from everything else and focus on you instead of others xx

I didn't say that, it was what krs2now said to me, I think.

 

[Volaju]

I suffer so much that I'm considering suicide. I feel dead inside, my mind and body seem separated. I have cried a lot in the past few days, I begged God for mercy. I'm crying now, my eyes are red. I can't imagine anyone not committing suicide feeling like this. I have even trouble eating or looking after myself.

I think I have told before that I'm a Muslim and it is considered a sin to commit suicide, but I can't live like this. I'm counting my days. Please God forgive me, I'm fighting with all my might, but it seems that I will lose the battle. I can't do anything, I have zero energy. I think I'm going insane. I'm going to lie down on my bed hoping that I won't wake up.

Let's see...your dark thoughts, let's say they are the "devil", shaitan yes? A friend of mine, a muslim dealt with social phobia too and he was in and out of the loony bin(schizo mixed) . One day, he looked from his window at the hospital and he just jumped out. Do you know what his parents & community say? It was not him, it was the djinn (you know this) inside him that caused him to do so. He was not judged a suicidal, he got a burial and there were alot of folks in the mosk.

What i'm trying to say is, i very doubt "God" would judge the mental and throw em in a pit, hey maybe it's the djinn or whatever..since you do believe in em.

Or follow GloomySunday's advice learn to live with it,try to improve because there might be no next life or no return (pos/neg you decide)

well whatever, goodluck

 

[NightTimeForever]

Well, I know how the OP feels. I am currently having suicidal thoughts also. Sometimes life just sucks, don't know what else to say really except hope things get better for you.

 

[Vanialo28]

...

 

[NormanBates]

I know it seems hopeless but it is possible to live and be a hermit.
Some people live their natural lifespan having always been alone. But they lived on this earth seeing and sensing.
You need to keep collecting experiences. Especially now during the worst time. Hard times are a good chance to be resourceful and creative.

 

[Ajuna24]

heaven/hell are both imaginery lands

Well put.

 

[whispering_screams]

Argamemnon if you're still alive, be my friend. I need some friends whom I can trust. PM me. Maybe can talk about god and islam.

 

[Erdkunde]

"There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life!"

 

[Argamemnon]

God does exist to me. I don't care what you believe in or don't.

 

[Acme]

Hey Argamemnon. Hope you're doing alright. I was going through some hard times back in my early 20's and suicide was on my mind dreaming about it and stuff. A song that really helped me through it was "Times of Trouble" by Temple of the Dog. I realize the song is about heroin versus suicide, but they both involve killing yourself all the same, and that it is important (as the song says) to hold on to your time till you break through these times of trouble.

You can hear the song free on youtube in case you want to check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXu6LfOFq-Y

That whole album is awesome.

Hold on dude. Don't try to kill your time. Things will get better.

 

[kaspersrad]

you should pick up a book called 'ask and it is given - learning to manifest your desires' by esther and jerry hicks. not sure if it would help you, but it helped me.

 

[Roppee]

I believe in suicide, but suicide of a different kind. Instead of actually taking your life, end the life you are living by doing something completely different. Walk away from the things that make you unhappy and don't worry about the consequences. Don't worry about what people think. Just do it. Live a life dedicated to helping others. Move away. Work abroad if you can. Do some charity work. Help injured animals. Befriend the lonely. Be a hero in the eyes of another person, if not your own. If your life has no meaning right now then give it meaning. If you want to die then why not die doing something amazing and in service to mankind? Your place in paradise would be guaranteed, as would your place in the hearts and minds of those that knew you.

True inspiration there. Excellent post.

 

[watherby]

If you are more afraid of life than of death than you know neither of them.
If you do not care about yourself and have the guts to self destruct, why are you so afraid of life - what can it do to you worse than that?
While destructing yourself you need to let go everything - why not to let go and don't self destruct?

 

[Wuzsubi]

I know the feeling. That's why I would never keep a loaded gun in my house. Try thinking of how badly some other people have it and still go on living: child cancer patients, severe burn victims, starving orphans in Africa...etc. That always seems to help me a bit and put things into perspective.

 

[hippiechild]

As a rule of thumb, I'd tell you not to kill yourself.

The only reason I'm still alive is my little sister. She's said, "Erik, if you die I won't be able to live anymore."
She looks up to me so much, suffers from social phobia and really relies on me for security and confidence. I can't kill myself until she doesn't need me anymore.