I'm considering suicide, but

[Argamemnon]

I suffer so much that I'm considering suicide. I feel dead inside, my mind and body seem separated. I have cried a lot in the past few days, I begged God for mercy. I'm crying now, my eyes are red. I can't imagine anyone not committing suicide feeling like this. I have even trouble eating or looking after myself.

I think I have told before that I'm a Muslim and it is considered a sin to commit suicide, but I can't live like this. I'm counting my days. Please God forgive me, I'm fighting with all my might, but it seems that I will lose the battle. I can't do anything, I have zero energy. I think I'm going insane. I'm going to lie down on my bed hoping that I won't wake up.

 

[samyou]

Wow man wake up, you live your life once, don't forget this...You sound like you believe in God, i do too, then why being pessimistic, man?Live your life, you have people on this forum to help you whenever you want, raise your head up, be an example of steadfastness :wink:
We're all with you through this tough periode...You'll get over it, i promise :wink:

 

[Vanialo28]

:-(

...

 

[n0id]

Hey man, to die is a once in a lifetime experience. You wouldn't want to steal that moment from yourself. You should be happy that you are alive and ..I was going to say "well" but it doesn't seem to fit in with the context. Aww.. I guess I'm not much of a help.

Well, my point is you must live!

And I didn't mean that as live and be unhappy, as your post seems to imply. I meant live as in enjoying being alive. Grow a beard (if you're a guy) then laugh at it and shave it. Try to see the fun in stuff you experience or feel. Like that time you went to sleep and forgot to turn the computer of.. haha, that was fun.. And then the power went out.

Well I really don't know what I'm talking about anymore. uh, except for that last statement. and that.. and that. and that... and that too.. uh.. and that.. uh...

I should stop writing n

 

[Helyna]

I think I agree with all the previous replies. Really, you have to keep going. Things change. I know what it feels like to want to never wake up... but that feeling always passed for me. You have to know that things can pass. And we care about you. I'd hate to come to this forum and know that I'd never see your name again. I hope you can find some reason to live. We all need one. There are infinite possibilities, and there must be something in life for you.

 

[Richey]

its your life that's getting you down not you, trust me there are literally millions of scenarios that could simply change your state of mind but its the constant repetitiveness of limited social contact and perhaps other areas that is the problem, it feels like groundhog day in hell sometimes ..

just say today you make one friend and scored your dream career move or you meet a girl, there is good chance you'd feel alot better about yourself and your head space would feel alot clearer ..

so you want your current lifestyle to end and change not you as a person ..

those little things like art of conversation and confidence can be painful but worth the effort of overcoming right?

 

[kuhtreen]

If you commit suicide, you will come right back to Earth and be faced with a challenge even MORE difficult than what you are facing now. You can't break your contract with God. And do you really want to have to start all over again? You're already a good amount of years into this life, you might as well just finish it out.

 

[Richey]

all i know is i could beat god at scrabble and soccer anyday

heaven/hell are both imaginery lands

btw, do christian/muslim bookstores have a non-fiction section?

 

[Richey]

mmkay.. alright i mean i've read the bible and I love how God is basically saying "water is aight, but wine is banging yo.", oh and don't mention the d word, (dinosaur) they hate that.

why would you want to go to heaven? its all vegan food and old people in cardigans. I'm better off in hell with the old school comics and interesting people.

purgotory is bad as well, all the magazines are old. there's only one "Top Gear" magazine and someones always already reading it.

okay i'll stop

 

[GloomySunday]

I believe in suicide, but suicide of a different kind. Instead of actually taking your life, end the life you are living by doing something completely different. Walk away from the things that make you unhappy and don't worry about the consequences. Don't worry about what people think. Just do it. Live a life dedicated to helping others. Move away. Work abroad if you can. Do some charity work. Help injured animals. Befriend the lonely. Be a hero in the eyes of another person, if not your own. If your life has no meaning right now then give it meaning. If you want to die then why not die doing something amazing and in service to mankind? Your place in paradise would be guaranteed, as would your place in the hearts and minds of those that knew you.

 

[qwerty103]

Hey man, you're not the only one who's suffering, we are too you know! You are just a human and you often make a lot of mistakes. How can you be so sure that when you suicide it's all done?

I can relate to you very well because I know how it feels to be so empty inside. It feels like you've lost your soul and it feels like life have no more meaning. I know exactly what you feel bro, however I'm not giving up in life because I know that this is just a test in life I that have to go through. I know that it will end very soon.

God gave us "free will" to do what we want. It is really our choice if we really want to change, he can guide us where to go. God helps people who helps themselves. Everything in this world has meaning and that is probably why we are suffering but it doesn't mean that it will not end. Your suffering has an ending believe me.

 

[Ajuna24]

I think many of us have been down that road before.
But.. I think you'll find your way, in whatever you choose to do.

As far as I know we only have one life. Though I don't think it'll matter once we're dead.

I feel your pain.

 

[JonnyD]

I believe in suicide, but suicide of a different kind. Instead of actually taking your life, end the life you are living by doing something completely different. Walk away from the things that make you unhappy and don't worry about the consequences. Don't worry about what people think. Just do it. Live a life dedicated to helping others. Move away. Work abroad if you can. Do some charity work. Help injured animals. Befriend the lonely. Be a hero in the eyes of another person, if not your own. If your life has no meaning right now then give it meaning. If you want to die then why not die doing something amazing and in service to mankind? Your place in paradise would be guaranteed, as would your place in the hearts and minds of those that knew you.

You're inspired today huh?

 

[cicada1000]

I always wish I had something better to say because I have felt the same way so many times...but things will get better, even if its not immediately, they will. (although I know it might be hard to believe now)

I am so glad now that I didn't kill myself because I realize how much it would have hurt my family. I know you have people who care about you too!! Please don't give up.

God wouldn't have put you on the earth just to suffer - he has better things planned for you. Trust him to help you.


btw I love your post GloomySunday

 

[bleach]

LOL look at how petty and simple these 'stay positive' messages are. Yeah right. 95% of the messages here are overwhelmingly negative but somehow you think it always gets better. Based on that whole 5% who get better.

 

[slicenrice]

Well, man I know how it feels to be in a spot like this. Many times I have felt like things are just utterly hopeless, and I have no idea how I carry on. A month ago, I was the closest to suicide I have ever been. I was looking around the house to find any and all meds I would OD on. Waking up to the living hell day, after day, after day, is just horrific.

After that night, however, I called my doctor, and started on Wellbutrin. Although it doesn't help with anxiety, a lot of my depression has been alleviated. I feel a lot more hopeful now than before, and for the past couple days I would say that I have been legitimately happy.

My point is, that things can get better. We all hit these lows, sometimes they last a long time, and are just below anything that anyone else can imagine. But, even if you don't believe things will get better, just try and force yourself to stick with it, and do whatever you can.

If you do choose the rout of suicide, however, no one can really fault you for it. I do not advocate suicide, but it is your life to take, and even though it is depression that is swaying your mind, I don't think anyone can point and call you weak for doing it.

Good luck man, and I hope whatever you decide to do, you find peace and happiness. Along the road.

If you ever need to talk, or need a friend, feel free to message me at any time.

 

[sabbath92002]

Consider reading some ACT books and living your life to the fullest.

1. Get out of your mind and into your life
2. The happiness trap

In ACT we try to kill our self-image daily, reinventing ourselves to match our values and goals. Life is too short to spend it debating your mind and body.

 

[sketchy24]

Since you believe in God, check out the Search for Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God's Eyes. Amazing book and I'm really picky on any book dealing with religion cause of course they wanna give you unicorns and puff balls feel good type stuff. But this isn't really like that at all. It's really helped me out a lot. Heck even if you don't believe in God I'd still give it a chance. Whoever wrote the book had obviously been there before unlike so many others where its just written by someone who just tries to help and not really understands it completely.

 

[Argamemnon]

Thanks everyone for your help. I had a breakdown yesterday. I'm totally exhausted. I should mention that my family has a predisposition to mental illness. Several relatives of mine have committed suicide and even my own brother. Perhaps it's my fate. I'm considering electroshock therapy, although I don't know much about the succes rate or possible risks.

 

[krs2snow]

I'm fighting with all my might, but it seems that I will lose the battle

What are you actively doing to fight with all ur might?