I'm being consumed by anger.

[philly2bits]

The title explains it all. I'm angry all the time. I'm angry because I have no money. I'm angry because I have no job. I'm angry because I have no friends. I'm angry people won't talk to me when I talk to them. I'm angry my father is always condescending. I'm angry I have the coping skills of a 5 year old. I'm angry I'm stupid. I'm angry I don't fit in. I'm angry I suck at everything I try. I'm angry at attention whores and even more angry at those that pay them any mind. I'm angry at people who, after the stars align in their favor, smugly act as if their good fortune was all due to hard work. But most of all I'm angry at myself, for being subject to everyone's will but my own, and not having the balls to do anything about it.

 

[this_portrait]

Anger is no fun most of the time, though I find physical activity helps to release it in a much better way. I used to be angry on practically a daily basis. There wasn't one day that I wasn't b*tching about something. I've been toning down a bit, though, and I feel a lot better because of it.

 

[coyote]

anger is one of the heaviest burdens we can carry around

it gets really tiring after a while

best to set it down somewhere before it wears us out

 

[MollyBeGood]

The title explains it all. I'm angry all the time. I'm angry because I have no money. I'm angry because I have no job. I'm angry because I have no friends. I'm angry people won't talk to me when I talk to them. I'm angry my father is always condescending. I'm angry I have the coping skills of a 5 year old. I'm angry I'm stupid. I'm angry I don't fit in. I'm angry I suck at everything I try. I'm angry at attention whores and even more angry at those that pay them any mind. I'm angry at people who, after the stars align in their favor, smugly act as if their good fortune was all due to hard work. But most of all I'm angry at myself, for being subject to everyone's will but my own, and not having the balls to do anything about it.

You should try to transmute all this anger and self-hate to something positive, or at least not so negative like exercise or poetry. I need to do the same thing,find a channel to direct my negative emotions because like your post reads they get into every aspect of your life then your just a cynical blob who nobody wants to be around-good luck

 

[philly2bits]

Anger is no fun most of the time, though I find physical activity helps to release it in a much better way. I used to be angry on practically a daily basis. There wasn't one day that I wasn't b*tching about something. I've been toning down a bit, though, and I feel a lot better because of it.

Unfortunately at this point in time I'm too angry with myself to bother exercising anymore.

anger is one of the heaviest burdens we can carry around

it gets really tiring after a while

best to set it down somewhere before it wears us out

I'm all for suggestions for how to set it down. Exercise I got, but there has to be more. Something that might help on a deeper level.

You should try to transmute all this anger and self-hate to something positive, or at least not so negative like exercise or poetry. I need to do the same thing,find a channel to direct my negative emotions because like your post reads they get into every aspect of your life then your just a cynical blob who nobody wants to be around-good luck

I past being a cynical blob long ago. I'm up to cynical goblin by now.

 

[coyote]

I'm all for suggestions for how to set it down. Exercise I got, but there has to be more. Something that might help on a deeper level.

anger is something we choose to hold onto

we hold onto it because it protects us

it keeps the things that hurt us at a distance

letting it go leaves us vulnerable and open to feelings that may be even more difficult to endure

when we decide that we're ready to face those feelings

we can choose to let the anger go

 

[philly2bits]

anger is something we choose to hold onto

we hold onto it because it protects us

it keeps the things that hurt us at a distance

letting it go leaves us vulnerable and open to feelings that may be even more difficult to endure

when decide that we're ready to face those feelings

we can choose to let the anger go

Could you be a little less philosophical with it and a bit more practical? What you have said I already know, but knowing is only half the battle. Doing is far harder for me.

 

[Kiwong]

Anger makes me physically unwell, it can make me have panic attacks. They scare me, I don't one of those again. So I keep the anger down if I can.

 

[coyote]

Could you be a little less philosophical with it and a bit more practical? What you have said I already know, but knowing is only half the battle. Doing is far harder for me.

i used to be a very angry person

i grew up in an angry house where the family was constantly yelling and arguing with one another

i think it was the way i learned to cope with not being in control of certain situations or of other people

i thought that the world should be the way i expected it to be

when it wasn't, i became angry - angry at the world for not living up to my expectations, angry at myself for being foolish enough to think it should be any different

i think it was easier and more comfortable than allowing for the possibility that i WASN'T in control of anything

i mean, to think that I really have NO control over the things that other people think or do or say, or how the world operates, etc. was a frightening concept - it meant i was alone and helpless against the universe - yikes

far easier to demand perfection and be angry when it isn't delivered than to admit to myself that i really haven't a got a clue about anything

and so i went forth in life, carrying that anger around for a very long time

it did not serve me well

i believe it helped destroy some of the most important relationships in my life and eventually left me with nothing but the barrel of a .40 cal glock pointed at my temple

in that moment, i realized that the only thing that i ever DID have control of was myself and my own thoughts

i could choose to end it right there or i could choose to continue, but i could NOT choose what anyone else in the world was going to think or do - that's completely up to them and beyond MY control

i found that realization to be very liberating - not frightening at all

it meant that i didn't HAVE to demand perfection and try to be in control of everything

it meant i could let go of grasping at the rest of the world and just let things be the way they were, and instead concentrate on myself - the only thing i do have the ability to change

and i found the anger went away - all on it's own

to be replaced by such things as patience, compassion, acceptance, and peace

i'm still working on improving myself, some days i do better than others - i realize i'm not perfect, nor can i ever hope to be

but i've let go of trying to change the world - it's going to do what it wants to, with or without me

i hope you can find peace, too

 

[Waybuloo]

When I got so angry I thought I was going to kill the people that have wronged me, I wrote them an unsent letter saying exactly how I felt, and it was somewhat cathartic. What also helped was saying to myself 'I am feeling angry, I can feel the anger going through me, I feel injustice and pain' and concentrating on the acknowledging of it on an intellectual level. At that point the scales tilt towards anger easing but you will have to relent and be easier on yourself. Anger can make you feel powerful, but it only harms you inside.

If that doesn't help, punch your fists into something safe, like cushions on a couch, let yourself scream (only when no one is there). You need to physically release the tensions raised by anger.

 

[philly2bits]

i used to be a very angry person.........

Well, I'd rather not have to reach absolute rock bottom like that to get better. I'm close enough right now thank you.

When I got so angry I thought I was going to kill the people that have wronged me, I wrote them an unsent letter saying exactly how I felt, and it was somewhat cathartic. What also helped was saying to myself 'I am feeling angry, I can feel the anger going through me, I feel injustice and pain' and concentrating on the acknowledging of it on an intellectual level. At that point the scales tilt towards anger easing but you will have to relent and be easier on yourself. Anger can make you feel powerful, but it only harms you inside.

If that doesn't help, punch your fists into something safe, like cushions on a couch, let yourself scream (only when no one is there). You need to physically release the tensions raised by anger.

I have a punching bag I use but that only helps with the bursts of rage, which are thankfully rare. The deep, festering anger is another issue altogether.

 

[philly2bits]

Long ago, back when I actually had a job, I worked at a convenience store. Every so often a state inspector would come in. He would have the sourest attitude every time. Nit-picking, looking for things that were not there. Once he got into an argument with his assistant about where the grease trap would be(we didn't have one.) He claimed left and right we were hiding it from him and even accused the assistant of being in on it and taking bribes to cover it up. Eventually he was satisfied and left.

This was more than him having a bad day. It was obvious he was angry at his life. The reasons don't matter much. He had lost the battle with himself. I don't want to end up like him.

 

[-lonestar-]

I used to be the angriest at night clubs, watching guys make out with hot chix while I tryed dancing with them they just turned around. Then I'd end up a drunk mess blackout and act violent, waking up with black eyes and bruises, luckily I wasn't killed. That's why I don't drink anymore, but I developed an apreciation for MJ. Just to escape my sad exisance if only for a while. been 3 years now since that hell, I am now a calmer person, ironically ever since I was a kid I never had a temper, didn't know how to get mad, it was until my adult life didn't go anywhere I started to feel true anger.

 

[Fighter86]

*bangs fist on table* I am angry... plain and simple. It bugs me even more when my colleagues ask about my private life, what I do after work/ during weekends, when its none of their business. I've resorted to fictitious stories about how I spend my weekends. In fact, I'm already coming up with a new one for this weekend. How pathetic is this?

 

[Vampayah88]

*bangs fist on table* I am angry... plain and simple. It bugs me even more when my colleagues ask about my private life, what I do after work/ during weekends, when its none of their business. I've resorted to fictitious stories about how I spend my weekends. In fact, I'm already coming up with a new one for this weekend. How pathetic is this?

I do that too...

 

[mikebird]

The title explains it all. I'm angry all the time. I'm angry because I have no money. I'm angry because I have no job. I'm angry because I have no friends. I'm angry people won't talk to me when I talk to them. I'm angry my father is always condescending. I'm angry I have the coping skills of a 5 year old. I'm angry I'm stupid. I'm angry I don't fit in. I'm angry I suck at everything I try. I'm angry at attention whores and even more angry at those that pay them any mind. I'm angry at people who, after the stars align in their favor, smugly act as if their good fortune was all due to hard work. But most of all I'm angry at myself, for being subject to everyone's will but my own, and not having the balls to do anything about it.

This is quite disturbing, because your subject and entire comment wraps up an entire description of myself. I started by wondering if someone was having a dig at me, but that can go aside. I have been hoping to find someone in the same situation for many years, after that all happened to me. Not sure how helpful that is... my reaction to anything tends to be... negative!

I have to curb my angry response to this. 'Attention whore' means, to me: people trying to sell me things I can't afford, or forcing a job opportunity onto me, which is right for me, but they will get an adverse, detrimental response due to my situation, which is catastrophically difficult to behave well about.

There must be a simple way out. The more effort I make, the worse and complex it gets. Physical release of anger is really appealing, but I can't find a way to achieve it yet.

Attention vampires! The people I know never had to lift a finger - where the prime skill is to appeal to others. They are everywhere in my life - mocking me, for extra gain. I try to stay away from people, as I radiate negativity, however hard I try not to do this. Being a celebrity is the simplest path in life.

 

[Mokkat]

the only times I've ever expressed anger was:

1. by avoiding conflict and isolating myself from stuff that made me mad
2. shouting at videogames, which has often led to "stop getting mad at games" from one or both of my parents

not the healthiest of personalities

 

[mikebird]

Long ago, back when I actually had a job, I worked at a convenience store. Every so often a state inspector would come in. He would have the sourest attitude every time. Nit-picking, looking for things that were not there. Once he got into an argument with his assistant about where the grease trap would be(we didn't have one.) He claimed left and right we were hiding it from him and even accused the assistant of being in on it and taking bribes to cover it up. Eventually he was satisfied and left.

This was more than him having a bad day. It was obvious he was angry at his life. The reasons don't matter much. He had lost the battle with himself. I don't want to end up like him.

It makes me feel like the inspector. Every day is a bad one for me. Many, many times in a day, I have a go at recruiters as soon as they start nit-picking with me, to rile me and they always succeed in a hangup on either side, as I use any defence I can when they touch my nerves and open up my lack of confidence on the tiniest issues. I say "you have my CV. Why can't you read it? I wrote it for you to read. Why do want me to read it through for you?"

 

[mikebird]

*bangs fist on table* I am angry... plain and simple. It bugs me even more when my colleagues ask about my private life, what I do after work/ during weekends, when its none of their business. I've resorted to fictitious stories about how I spend my weekends. In fact, I'm already coming up with a new one for this weekend. How pathetic is this?

I've never been able to believe or accept that asking about someone's weekend is ever valid. It's a trivial, bullying, poke, which happens at interview. If I ever was ever the person with the power, at any level - subtle, or dominating, I'd know how to annoy someone, and lead to intolerance

 

[mikebird]

I wish I could turn incessant phone calls from anonymous people, emails urging me to call people, voicemails getting me to call them... into a fist straight into these people's jaws.

This has turned me into a monster (only in my head) in the last 13 years. I feel like a caged animal with nothing to do, with people visiting regularly, to poke sticks through the bars for research, to see how I react.

If... one day, someone opened the cage, offered me an acceptable job to do, I'd be beaming like the sun, and I'd be everyone's friend. I'd get a girlfriend soon - the way it used to be.

I have it in my soul, somewhere, that there is a simple event on the way, and life was never as mindbendingly complex as I used to think it was