I want to go to college.

[Shyangel]

I'm sure there are similar threads around but I wanted to make one specific.

I want to start college, but I'm afraid of failing. I just know my anxiety, my lack of life experience and general socialization is going to get in the way. And frankly, I've never been to school so I've never received a proper education.
I did get my GED early of last year, I'm not sure if that's enough academic preparation. I'm lacking all the things necessary to go to college, this isn't a statement, this is a fact. But I don't know what else to do to get my life moving in the right direction. Do you think I'm ready? Or am I guaranteed to fail?

Be honest.



Thanks guys.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

If you've gotten your GED, then I think you're ready for it. Just because you didn't finish school with a diploma in the "normal way" doesn't mean that you can't survive college. As long as you're willing to fight tooth and nail for it, then I think anyone can survive college. Being social is required, yes, something I can tell you based on personal experience, especially if you enter certain classes, but it's not as unsurvivable and scary as I'm making it::! You'll learn those skills as you progress through college. My SA isn't as bad now than it was in high school. There should be a sort of counseling office on campus should you ever have any problems with yours. College can be pretty fun as well.

You can do it Shyangel. I trust that fact. What are you going into college for?

 

[Nathália]

I'm not sure :-(. I didn't even know for myself I just did what I thought was the best option. You can always take a test to test how prepared you are for college courses. Now the anxiety I fear it may get in your way if you don't have much experience and even those with experience can be just as nervous. In college people might want to talk to you, you may struggle with your work and have to work with other people or go to a lab, the teachers may assign groups and in some classes there is a participation grade. You have to force yourself to somewhat participate and you never know you might have some presentations. I do not know you personally and I do not think that you should be discouraged although I may sound discouraging it is just you can't avoid communication. In grade school I could do that more, but college was a new ball game. Try not to put to much on yourself, talk to the school counselor for help and resources. You can try college online? Or maybe you can push through? Some people can handel stress more than others. " The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure." There is always a way to do things. I think that you should apply for scholarships just incase something happens.
It depends..Plus some schools are more fun than others and you can try events out. I think it's better to try than to not. You would have the experience.

 

[Shyangel]

If you've gotten your GED, then I think you're ready for it. Just because you didn't finish school with a diploma in the "normal way" doesn't mean that you can't survive college. As long as you're willing to fight tooth and nail for it, then I think anyone can survive college. Being social is required, yes, something I can tell you based on personal experience, especially if you enter certain classes, but it's not as unsurvivable and scary as I'm making it::! You'll learn those skills as you progress through college. My SA isn't as bad now than it was in high school. There should be a sort of counseling office on campus should you ever have any problems with yours. College can be pretty fun as well.

You can do it Shyangel. I trust that fact. What are you going into college for?

Thanks, Deadman. Maybe your right.

I can't tell you how much I've fought feeling abnormal because I never been to school like most people. I feel like because of that I'm apart of a different race. I feel like I can't do what other people can because of my lack of that life experience you gain from high school... which, I think is true...But that's another thread.
So, it's possible to survive college with crippling anxiety? Attending college under these circumstances feels like I'm setting myself up for failure. I, mean, aren't I? I want to attend it with the best chances possible, but I also don't want to wait forever.

Thanks, Deadman, for taking the time to be so insightful.

I'm considering web design or web development. I've messed around with web design a little, and I like it. But, I hear you have to be good at math for these kinda jobs. Maths not my thing, so it makes me wonder if I should try and find something else. I'm considering web development because I hear it pays better and has more available jobs. I also find myself enjoying the codding part of things, so I can't decide.

 

[OceanMist]

I'm not afraid of failing college, I'm afraid of not being able to get a job for long enough after I leave college to pay back the student loans I'd have to use. If I couldn't get a job after college, I'd be in a worse situation than I'm in now because I'd have giant debt.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Thanks, Deadman. Maybe your right.

I can't tell you how much I've fought feeling abnormal because I never been to school like most people. I feel like because of that I'm apart of a different race. I feel like I can't do what other people can because of my lack of that life experience you gain from high school... which, I think is true...But that's another thread.
So, it's possible to survive college with crippling anxiety? Attending college under these circumstances feels like I'm setting myself up for failure. I, mean, aren't I? I want to attend it with the best chances possible, but I also don't want to wait forever.

Thanks, Deadman, for taking the time to be so insightful.

I'm considering web design or web development. I've messed around with web design a little, and I like it. But, I hear you have to be good at math for these kinda jobs. Maths not my thing, so it makes me wonder if I should try and find something else. I'm considering web development because I hear it pays better and has more available jobs. I also find myself enjoying the codding part of things, so I can't decide.

Well, the first step to failure is believing that you will fail. As Beleza mentioned in her post, presentations and group work aren't uncommon, well for me at least. It's going to call on you to break any and all barriers of SA. But, it's possible; group work and presentations usually go hand-in-hand, so memorize your part and you'll do fine. I think, for the most part though, you're flying solo and doing your own work. People with social anxiety may have a harder time, but they can still make it through.

Concerning your field, don't stress so much. Just because your skills needed for the profession aren't up to par doesn't mean you can't do it. For example, to be a mediator (my dream profession), I'm going to have to be really social, in fact, I've been advised to get a Social Works minor. The thing is, I suck at talking to people. I can't look them in the eye, I don't like talking to people in general, and I always get so anxious around people, especially when their eyes are on me. But, I've got four years (eight years at least really) to change that, so I'm working through my problems one at a time. If you have a problem with math, then you should talk to your instructor and even call in for a tutor. You've got time to turn things around, so take things easy and fight through your math shortcomings with confidence and gusto!

 

[Shyangel]

I'm not sure :-(. I didn't even know for myself I just did what I thought was the best option. You can always take a test to test how prepared you are for college courses. Now the anxiety I fear it may get in your way if you don't have much experience and even those with experience can be just as nervous. In college people might want to talk to you, you may struggle with your work and have to work with other people or go to a lab, the teachers may assign groups and in some classes there is a participation grade. You have to force yourself to somewhat participate and you never know you might have some presentations. I do not know you personally and I do not think that you should be discouraged although I may sound discouraging it is just you can't avoid communication. In grade school I could do that more, but college was a new ball game. Try not to put to much on yourself, talk to the school counselor for help and resources. You can try college online? Or maybe you can push through? Some people can handel stress more than others. " The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure." There is always a way to do things. I think that you should apply for scholarships just incase something happens.
It depends..Plus some schools are more fun than others and you can try events out. I think it's better to try than to not. You would have the experience.

Thanks, Beleza, you've given me a lot to think about.
I'm afraid of the work, I think. The idea of all these things being put in front of me that I'm not sure I'll know how to do might be the scariest thing.
I guess I'm not sure I'm mentally ready for all that responsibility as well. Getting a degree is something I really want though.

 

[Shyangel]

Well, the first step to failure is believing that you will fail. As Beleza mentioned in her post, presentations and group work aren't uncommon, well for me at least. It's going to call on you to break any and all barriers of SA. But, it's possible; group work and presentations usually go hand-in-hand, so memorize your part and you'll do fine. I think, for the most part though, you're flying solo and doing your own work. People with social anxiety may have a harder time, but they can still make it through.

Concerning your field, don't stress so much. Just because your skills needed for the profession aren't up to par doesn't mean you can't do it. For example, to be a mediator (my dream profession), I'm going to have to be really social, in fact, I've been advised to get a Social Works minor. The thing is, I suck at talking to people. I can't look them in the eye, I don't like talking to people in general, and I always get so anxious around people, especially when their eyes are on me. But, I've got four years (eight years at least really) to change that, so I'm working through my problems one at a time. If you have a problem with math, then you should talk to your instructor and even call in for a tutor. You've got time to turn things around, so take things easy and fight through your math shortcomings with confidence and gusto!

I guess your right. I could go to college and work all the social issues there. I wouldn't have a choice, so what better way to get over it? I think over time I learn to deal with it, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Thanks.

That makes sense, Deadman. If I have a shorting coming what better place to improve it then college, where you have the resources and the time. I suppose in a sense, college is the best place for me if I want to fix these things and better my life at the same time...I just hope I step up to the plate.

Thanks for the great advice.

 

[Nathália]

@ Shy Angel. Everyone is different and I would love anyone succeed! Of course, and you're a smart girl and I think that you know that the best things in life never come easy. Anyone can put themselves of to anything if they train themselves and become strong willed. So many people struggled had hard lives and made it through school.
IDK. I'm sorry. I just saw my errors and don't want people to follow me. I have not gave up , I am taking courses again after I opted out. Although it is your experience for you to try and it can get you out more and give you more social outlets. I am not trying to throw you off track, I just want you to make it! You got your GED so I know you have to will to make it in college. The only thing I worry about is the SA. You know when you are ready, just make sure you prepare well is all I am saying! Good luck!

 

[Hoppy]

I saw a little graph somewhere about things people regretted the most.

And on top of the graph was education, with more than 30% of the people regretting not having enough.

Go for it girl!

 

[coyote]

i didn't start to college until after i was 24 years old and married

i went to one school for a year, sat out a year, then went to another school

got my bachelor's degree when i was 29

there's not one right way to live your life

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

My personal experience with college was great.
All 3/4's of the one year I managed to pay for.
haha

Going to college helps shape many people; helps mature you in ways that highschool never could.
Perhaps your fears will get in your way of having what you see as a 'successful' experience-- but any experience is a good one, really.
Any experience will help you to grow.
Hopefully- into a person you like to look back at in a mirror.

 

[Nathália]

^^ I agree with the both of them 100% ^^ Coyote and WeirdyMcGee

 

[Shyangel]

@ Shy Angel. Everyone is different and I would love anyone succeed! Of course, and you're a smart girl and I think that you know that the best things in life never come easy. Anyone can put themselves of to anything if they train themselves and become strong willed. So many people struggled had hard lives and made it through school.
IDK. I'm sorry. I just saw my errors and don't want people to follow me. I have not gave up , I am taking courses again after I opted out. Although it is your experience for you to try and it can get you out more and give you more social outlets. I am not trying to throw you off track, I just want you to make it! You got your GED so I know you have to will to make it in college. The only thing I worry about is the SA. You know when you are ready, just make sure you prepare well is all I am saying! Good luck!

Your very smart, Beleza, I'm sure you will succeed and become something great.
What your saying makes a lot of sense. I don't want to let my fears and anxiety rule my life. I think if I don't do this that's what I'm letting it do. I want to do this, so, I think I'm going to. I'm not going to let anything stop me! lol I'm on a power kick now.

Thanks very much for the kind words and encouragement.

 

[Shyangel]

@Coyote.

That's awesome that you over came all that. I knew there was a smart guy under all those jokes.

@WeirdyMcgee.

You make a great point.
It will still be a experience I can learn from no matter the out come.
Thanks for giving me your perspective, Weirdy.

 

[Shyangel]

I saw a little graph somewhere about things people regretted the most.

And on top of the graph was education, with more than 30% of the people regretting not having enough.

Go for it girl!

Hoppy's bringing in the facts!

Thanks for the info and encouragement.

 

[Invisibleman]

I used to have so much confidence that I could go to college and I could succeed but my sister has since killed it.

 

[Blandy]

Ok im gona try not to write to much here but college is something that was a massive thing in my life.

So for me my college experience was awful, simply cos its when my social phobia seemed to be at its worst, at school i was fine and dare i say "popular" until my problems started, i completely isolated myself, but i still had friends who i could feel some-what relaxed around. When i started college i was excited, i went in expecting that i would be ok and that this could be a fresh start for me. The first week i was "shy", but every1 was, nobody knew each other, but after all that for some stupid reason i decided to go into my "quite mode", i never talked to any1, people always made a effort with me, but i wouldn't be able to talk or say anything i wanted to.

It was probably the most frustrating and depressing 2 years of my life, i was on my own the whole time and it was MY fault. Countless times people would ask me join them when they went out at lunch and things, but i would always say no. A lot of people often sat next to me, 1 girl especially, with the intentions of hopefully having a chat and getting to know me, of course I said nothing. 2 months in it was like i had accepted it and i became numb to everything, I would always sit on my own, lunch i would always be on my own, my attendance was awful because I couldn't face going in a lot of the time.

The thing is, the college was ideal, every1 was friendly, the lessons were fun and interesting, if i could of just somehow got past my social phobia i know for a fact it would of been the happiest 2 years of my life. I loved the learning aspect and i really think college is a good idea for any1 looking to further there education, just dont do what i did and let ur social phobia get in the way, please!

 

[Shyangel]

Thanks for sharing your story with me, Blandy.
I'm sorry you had to go through all that.
I'll try and keep your words in mind. I would hate to miss out on great opportunities to improve and enrich my life.