I never thought this day would come?

[Tomasso]

My girlfriend dumped me today after 4 years of friendship and 2.5 years together.

For the first time in my 22 years, I can say that I am completely isolated from the world and fellow humans.

For years I always felt like an outsider looking in, but I was thankful there was at least one person who understood me.

Now I just feel sad and like a failure.

It was always comforting for me to think "Well, I may not have friends but at least I'll be able to get married and have kids and feel normal one day."

Now that has been taken from me.

I don't really have anything anymore and I'm afraid I'm going to become an angry, bitter misanthrope.

::

I imagine many of you have had similar experiences.

What can I expect from being isolated in the future?

Will I have any big personality changes?

How did you deal with complete isolation?

I'm curious to hear all of your stories.

Thanks guys.

 

[Newtype]

You will probably lose hope in people, maybe you'll become pessimistic. After a while, you'll realize that you don't need to have hope in anything, you just need to improve yourself and find happiness in your life. You'll come out stronger and more confident and slowly, you'll become less and less isolated.

 

[Tomasso]

You will probably lose hope in people, maybe you'll become pessimistic. After a while, you'll realize that you don't need to have hope in anything, you just need to improve yourself and find happiness in your life. You'll come out stronger and more confident and slowly, you'll become less and less isolated.

Interesting.

What do you mean by losing hope in people? Do you mean lose hope that people are good?

I know that I've already lost faith in my ability to connect with others because of my low self-esteem.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

why didn't you ask to marry her? i'm just asking to make sure that's not why she dumped you. anyway you'll find someone else. it might not come soon but if you're out doing things it will happen. for now forget about relationships and focus on activites you don't need a gf for which is well, anything pretty much. when you gain confidence it will be easier. it's not like you need a lot just more than now. is there someone you look up to? it can even be a movie star to inspire you....w/e. if someone can be with you for that long you gotta be a great person! you're only 22 you have many years to change things but start now.... use today to thow out stuff that reminds you of her and go

 

[Sacrament]

Depending on someone on an emotional level is one of the biggest traps you could fall into.

You need to have your own backbone, your own backup system for when other things fall apart, otherwise you're in trouble. What you need to do is form connections with others. Try doing some volunteer work and see if you have things in common with others (which you probably will).

 

[Newtype]

What do you mean by losing hope in people? Do you mean lose hope that people are good?

I mean that at some point we all hope that people would fit into the world that we wish to see, or live in, and perhaps that girl represented some kind of hope for you, not hope in your personal life, but hope in people in general.

 

[OceanMist]

Hmm, i've been living in the situation you are currently in for years. I've been on dates and dated women before, but as far as relationships go, I only dated a woman for 2 months maximum once. The rest were kind of short lived.

I stopped hanging with friends for years. It's kind of a lonely existence but it's possible to live through. The main positive thing is no drama. Also, you get to always do what you want.

It basically comes down to this. Do you want to be isolated? If you really want friends, then there are social events where you could try to make some friends. It's tough for shy people, but possible.

The real question is not what I can tell you, but what do you want?

I can tell you that you that you will be lonelier. You'll also never be under the social microscope though. You'll never be expected of anything socially, which is nice.

 

[Silatuyok]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Do you have any idea why she dumped you? This might give you some insight into what went wrong and what to avoid in the future.
In the meantime, you will need to give yourself time to grieve over your loss. A big part of you is gone and you will need to find ways to adjust. Embrace the opportunity to learn about yourself, now that you are on your own.
Lastly, don't give up hope. You are only 22, and you have the good solid experience under your belt. When you are ready, you can build on that and start anew somewhere down the road. Best of luck to you.

 

[HumanZ]

I'm sorry for you..

I was dumped once after two years dating and it was honestly the most terrible thing that has happened to me. She was everything to me. My whole life. First I was shocked, then angry and finally very sad and melancholic. I tried to accept it and hold my feelings inside me. I couldn't. I cried two days and shouted myself how failure I was. I hated her but also loved her more than anything.

The part when I felt anger, I deleted our pictures, removed her from the Facebook friends list and when she asked something from me via phone I said this is over, don't call me anymore.

After two days, I felt that if I give up now I will regret it my whole life. I texted her my feelings and she said she had the same feelings and she still loved me and she was afraid to contact me because I had told her not to. She asked if I wanted to meet her. Then we met, talked and we came back together.

I wish I never have to experience another day like that..

 

[Hellhound]

I'm sorry :c