I need to know how to calm down and stop hating the people in this world!

[Lost Girl]

I hate the world and the people in it. I would love nothing more than to leave this planet and live on another with hopefully, a more relate able species that I can live happily amongst. However, obviously, as I was born in the wrong time (I predict at least a couple of hundred years too soon) I have to figure out a way to live here and now, on this planet, with these humans, in a more peaceful and calm state.

The problem is, that human behavior sends my anxiety through the roof! Examples of human traits and actions that make my head want to literally explode are stupidity, ignorance, racism, arrogance/egotism, sex/race/or religious superiority, religion at all, war, patriotism, destroying the planet, wiping out entire species of animals, slavery, famine, and people who don't give a **** about what is so wrong on this planet.

It sounds absolutely moronic and ridiculous that I find it so difficult to live here on this planet with humans, and it is, as obviously I am one of these humans and this is my planet, and there is no other option, but I literally want to LEAVE THE PLANET. I'm not suicidal at all. And I don't hate everyone obviously, but I get into this mindset where I feel I just want nothing to do with anyone or anything around me. I get so angry and so fed up with what I see or read in the news. It hurts my brain. I feel with every fiber of my being sometimes that I do not want to be one of these people and don't want any part in what they do. Sometimes I feel so guilty as I am part of the species that does all this, I feel like the blood is on my hands. I feel sometimes that my only option is to become a complete recluse in the mountains somewhere completely away from humans and what goes on. Living in ignorance, yes, but I feel like that is my only option to live happily here and as I am. I so wish I had been born a monkey or a turtle or something.

The problem is I have a hubby and a daughter that I love very much. Hubby hates some things in the world but for the most part still loves it, and I would like to raise my daughter as well as I can, and pulling her into my little secluded house in the mountains fantasy won't help her in the long run.

Am I the only crazy person here who feels like this? And howww can I get over this anxiety and get past these feelings I have? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

 

[UnOccupied]

Hate is an extreme feeling that stems from fear.

Hate only brings upon more hate.

I dont know how you can stop hating the things around you. But, i do know how to cope with it a little bit. I am guessing that the things you hate are all around you. The racists, the sexists, all the things you hate probably constantly appear in your life.

The more you think about the things you hate, the more you will focus on them. If your focusing on people being racists, and thats in your mind all the time, you will notice every little but of racism or abuse or neglect, etc.

Is everyone you come into contact with EVER going to be someone you like?...no, thats just impossible. There will always people you dont get along with. But it sounds like your magnifying your hate and picking out the things you hate in life. Since you have probably done this for so many years, it may seem like your whole life will be this way, because these thoughts you think every day have become engrained into your mind through years of repeating them and expanding on these negative thoughts.

It sounds like you realize these thoughts are not benefiting you, and you are trying to get past them and live your life. I would love the same thing. You want to know how to change these thoughts? I guess start by realizing that most of the hateful thoughts you have are deep rooted in you and are based of lies you have conditioned yourself to believe. Then start seeing the truth for what is, and try being rational in every instance you can about your hate.

I am not a professional, but i realize the power our thoughts and beliefs have over us. They can be changed though!

 

[rodinski]

Try meditation. Which is actually a pretty simple technique now that I've tried it. It really calms you down, especially if you do it in front of a lot of people.

It is as simple as this:

1. Close your eyes.
2. Focus on your breathing.
3. Attach yourself to where you feel the breath coming in and out (in this case you'll feel you stomach, or your nose, or your upper chest in movement). You now focus only on this point.
4. You'll notice your mind will like to jump from topic to topic and continously move around. Acknowledge those thoughts and just understand they they are there and move back to focusing on the breathing and where you feel it.
5. Do it for 10 minutes. Eventually you'll notice the thoughts that are prominate in your mind and you'll be able to focus better.

It was weird. I thought it would not contribute anything to my well being but after the first go, I kinda like it. Give it a shot at least when you are upset.

 

[Anomaly]

I'd try to turn that hate into pity.

 

[Lost Girl]

Hate is an extreme feeling that stems from fear.

Hate only brings upon more hate.

This is true, and 'hate' is probably not the word I really mean to express, even though I say or think that very phrase at some point almost daily. I am in fact not a hateful person at all believe it or not.

More than hate I think it's frustration and anger toward the perpetrators of what I mentioned above that I feel. All that I mentioned that fuels this is so common that I now have a tendency to write of all of humanity as a whole. I used to love the world and people and life. I genuinely have no idea how I can ever get back to that point knowing what I now know and having experienced what I have and with all these thoughts that just do my head in.

I dont know how you can stop hating the things around you. But, i do know how to cope with it a little bit. I am guessing that the things you hate are all around you. The racists, the sexists, all the things you hate probably constantly appear in your life.

The more you think about the things you hate, the more you will focus on them. If your focusing on people being racists, and thats in your mind all the time, you will notice every little but of racism or abuse or neglect, etc.

This is true, racists in particular do seem to be everywhere, and I'm very sensitive to when I see it around me, which is a lot. However, I do live in Australia. Racism is such a big part of this country's culture.

The 'reasons why I hate humans' so to speak is on my mind all the time. I am genuinely stressed, and lose sleep over these thoughts.
Ugh, to be able reset my mind...

Is everyone you come into contact with EVER going to be someone you like?...no, thats just impossible. There will always people you dont get along with.

Oh, I know this.

But it sounds like your magnifying your hate and picking out the things you hate in life. Since you have probably done this for so many years, it may seem like your whole life will be this way, because these thoughts you think every day have become engrained into your mind through years of repeating them and expanding on these negative thoughts.It sounds like you realize these thoughts are not benefiting you, and you are trying to get past them and live your life. I would love the same thing. You want to know how to change these thoughts? I guess start by realizing that most of the hateful thoughts you have are deep rooted in you and are based of lies you have conditioned yourself to believe. Then start seeing the truth for what is, and try being rational in every instance you can about your hate.

I am not a professional, but i realize the power our thoughts and beliefs have over us. They can be changed though!

You're right I do only seem to be able to pick out what it is that I hate about people and society. I have only been able to see the negative, bar a few moments where I see something sweet, or cute or funny somewhere, but for the most part - I just don't see the good in humanity anymore. This is my problem. I haven't had these thoughts for years however, a few months more like. Although I do remember going on a similar path to this a few years ago come to think of it...
What I really want is to be able to stop this way of thinking in it's tracks before it progresses into a deeper hole. At this moment, I have no feeling of connection to humanity. I don't want to be a part of 'their world' which of course, is completely irrational, and as you said, not benefiting me or my life at all. However, I don't believe that my hatred is stemmed from lies, but the truth. I think more than anything, I need to learn to love, nay see, the good in humanity again.

Thank you for your input .

 

[Lost Girl]

Try meditation. Which is actually a pretty simple technique now that I've tried it. It really calms you down, especially if you do it in front of a lot of people.

It is as simple as this:

1. Close your eyes.
2. Focus on your breathing.
3. Attach yourself to where you feel the breath coming in and out (in this case you'll feel you stomach, or your nose, or your upper chest in movement). You now focus only on this point.
4. You'll notice your mind will like to jump from topic to topic and continously move around. Acknowledge those thoughts and just understand they they are there and move back to focusing on the breathing and where you feel it.
5. Do it for 10 minutes. Eventually you'll notice the thoughts that are prominate in your mind and you'll be able to focus better.

It was weird. I thought it would not contribute anything to my well being but after the first go, I kinda like it. Give it a shot at least when you are upset.

Thank you so much - I will try this .

 

[Lost Girl]

I'd try to turn that hate into pity.

I don't really see how that would be better though. I'm also not one to pity others really.

 

[Waybuloo]

No you are not the only one. I get enraged by ignorant people and things like racial slurs or even indirect ignorant little things like this chuggah outside of the supermarket saying 'nihao' to me, like but I could be Japanese, or Korean, or Cantonese, his ignorance just made me feel insulted, but he probably meant no harm.

That and reading Dale Carnegie's 'How to stop worrying and start living' sort of gave me a semi epiphany: people are the way they are due to unique upbringing and life events that shape their every belief, intentional and unintentional behaviour. They are the way they are due to human nature. Not everybody uphold the same pristine moral code and if you expect a certain way of being from everybody you will be bitterly disappointed. Lower your expectations, if someone is nice and thoughtful then it'll come as a nice surprise.

These people are not going to cry over you are they, so why be upset over them? The human race is not defined by the atrocities and ignorance done by a select few. If you concentrate on them of course it'll make your blood boil. But there are good people out there, why not think of the good deeds done by others.

 

[Lost Girl]

No you are not the only one. I get enraged by ignorant people and things like racial slurs or even indirect ignorant little things like this chuggah outside of the supermarket saying 'nihao' to me, like but I could be Japanese, or Korean, or Cantonese, his ignorance just made me feel insulted, but he probably meant no harm.

lol I'm sorry this made me giggle. I know it's not fun people assuming you're a race and saying something stupid to you in relation to whatever presumption they've made. I've had people assume that I'm Indian, Chinese, Alaskan, Japanese, Spanish, you name it - anything but my actual heritage of course ::.

That and reading Dale Carnegie's 'How to stop worrying and start living' sort of gave me a semi epiphany: people are the way they are due to unique upbringing and life events that shape their every belief, intentional and unintentional behaviour. They are the way they are due to human nature. Not everybody uphold the same pristine moral code and if you expect a certain way of being from everybody you will be bitterly disappointed. Lower your expectations, if someone is nice and thoughtful then it'll come as a nice surprise.

These people are not going to cry over you are they, so why be upset over them? The human race is not defined by the atrocities and ignorance done by a select few. If you concentrate on them of course it'll make your blood boil. But there are good people out there, why not think of the good deeds done by others.

Thank you dear, words to think about. Unfortunately I am at the point where I truly believe that that the 'bad' people far out-weigh the good. I'm sure that I'm wrong, I just need this to be proven to me. Really - I want it to be proven to me.

Lowering my expectations will absolutely be a good start though. Funny, I hate expectations being laid on me yet I've obviously set them so high on everyone else. I've also just got to come to grips with the fact that people come in all forms and will think, act, and speak as they will. I don't understand why it gets to me so much. Why I get so angry. Why I lose sleep over it!

 

[Mendel]

You're definitely not the only one who feels like that. I have had a major problem with it for a while now. I have always been socially awkward, and tended to isolate myself, but I never really had any bad feelings about other people. I just wasn't comfortable interacting with them. For the last year or two though, I find myself just really disliking and distrusting people in general. I used to be fine in a crowd of strangers, as long as I didn't have to interact and could just blend into the background, but now I get overwhelmed with a strange feeling of fear, like I can't trust all these people around me. Unfortunately, I have had a couple of people come into my life recently who have me convinced that people are self-absorbed and don't care how their words or actions affect other people. I agree with Waybuloo that there are good people, and you can't define everyone by the actions of a few, but it is really hard to believe that sometimes and get rid of the negative feelings.

 

[Lost Girl]

You're definitely not the only one who feels like that. I have had a major problem with it for a while now. I have always been socially awkward, and tended to isolate myself, but I never really had any bad feelings about other people. I just wasn't comfortable interacting with them. For the last year or two though, I find myself just really disliking and distrusting people in general. I used to be fine in a crowd of strangers, as long as I didn't have to interact and could just blend into the background, but now I get overwhelmed with a strange feeling of fear, like I can't trust all these people around me. Unfortunately, I have had a couple of people come into my life recently who have me convinced that people are self-absorbed and don't care how their words or actions affect other people. I agree with Waybuloo that there are good people, and you can't define everyone by the actions of a few, but it is really hard to believe that sometimes and get rid of the negative feelings.

You know come to think of it, the mistrust is what came into it first. I think.I think it started probably a year or two ago that I really, really came to realize that I had major distrust in everyone around me - people in the shopping center, people on the street that I pass, people in queues, the check-out lady, the mothers at my daughters school that I walk past. Sure, with the social anxiety, there has always been a little mistrust, and a lot of "omfg I don't want to be around these people!" but not to the point where I had paranoid thoughts about every single person out doing their thing. My anxiety has been so much worse recently. I find it so hard to anywhere near people. It has manifested itself into a genuine fear I think.
And yes, the self-absorbed types that you mentioned are seemingly everywhere which pisses me off. I don't know what to think - if this dilemma I'm going through right now is just an extension or progression of my social anxiety. Because of SA have I pushed people away so much and lost that connection with the human race and that is what is causing these thoughts? Or is this a chicken and egg thing? What caused what first? Hmm...

 

[coyote]

"If you don't like something, change it.
If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Don't complain."

- Maya Angelou

 

[Feathers]

Coyote said it well

Okay, Maya Angelou did

Are you involved in any eco projects, activism or such? Or anything that is meaningful to you? You will be surprised how your attitude changes when you actually start doing something about it!!
It can be small things or bigger things.. Lots of wonderful things are happening across the planet too.. There are blogs and websites about them, organisations and individuals.. rural and in cities..

So at least try to balance 'negative news' with the good things that are happening, and that you are helping to make happen..
There are opportunities for volunteering with your family and/or friends, etc. (It can also be a great bonding experience.)

There is also an eco anxiety thread on this forums, you are not the only one worrying about the planet..
And yes I have my own imaginary space ship too..
I just mostly don't watch the news anymore.. I listen to them on the radio sometimes, or just hear about it online or from relatives..
At least try not to watch them last thing before you go to bed and first thing in the morning.. Balance with energetic/fun music or other stuff you like..
I sometimes write stories on 'what if' too.. It may be helpful to explore some concepts etc.

As for trusting people and paranoia, some of that is apparently healthy if you're an activist of sorts? (There are manuals online..)
Most people are good, I've been told about 30% will come aboard any well-done eco schemes immediately, another 30% need to be convinced with awareness-raising campaigns, about 30% need a system with financial rewards/penalties.. A lot is being done, still more people are needed everywhere and you are very welcome to join in wherever you can!!

 

[Mendel]

That is an interesting question about the whole chicken and egg thing. I think that for me, these kinds of feelings are a defense mechanism of sorts. I already have the whole SA thing going on, and I have been hurt by a couple of people that I trusted recently, so painting everybody as being bad or untrustworthy lets me justify to myself why I continue to avoid people.

 

[sanitariumcalls]

Just my two cents here: I agree with you 100% on how corrupt people are

The hypocrisy... its ok for a group of African-American girls at the transit center to give me **** because I glanced at them once, calling me cracker b*tch and whatever the hell they were squawkin about, but if I called them the n word *which I wouldn't but just hypothetically* I'd be labeled a racist and probably get the sh*t kicked out of me (and probably be told I brought it on myself or some crap).

I remember back in 5th grade, we did a family history. Well, my great grandfather was a Nazi nurse. When people found out, oh Lord in Heaven, I was treated like a pariah. Its not my fault a branch of my family is from Hesse and fought in the war!

People are just... disgusting sometimes...

Why can't we all just get along?

 

[Lost Girl]

"If you don't like something, change it.
If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Don't complain."

- Maya Angelou

Thanks . I'm obviously looking for a way to change these thoughts, which feels impossible at this point, but thanks for the copy pasta quota.

 

[tweetebird]

Seriously, the easiest thing you can do right now is to quit the news addiction! It's a horribly unbalanced view of life. I haven't watched the news in about a year, and I don't miss it one bit. And guess what? I still hear about the important stories, and even the annoying ones, from someone sooner or later lol.

 

[Lost Girl]

Coyote said it well

Okay, Maya Angelou did

Are you involved in any eco projects, activism or such? Or anything that is meaningful to you? You will be surprised how your attitude changes when you actually start doing something about it!!
It can be small things or bigger things.. Lots of wonderful things are happening across the planet too.. There are blogs and websites about them, organisations and individuals.. rural and in cities..

So at least try to balance 'negative news' with the good things that are happening, and that you are helping to make happen..
There are opportunities for volunteering with your family and/or friends, etc. (It can also be a great bonding experience.)

There is also an eco anxiety thread on this forums, you are not the only one worrying about the planet..
And yes I have my own imaginary space ship too..
I just mostly don't watch the news anymore.. I listen to them on the radio sometimes, or just hear about it online or from relatives..
At least try not to watch them last thing before you go to bed and first thing in the morning.. Balance with energetic/fun music or other stuff you like..
I sometimes write stories on 'what if' too.. It may be helpful to explore some concepts etc.

As for trusting people and paranoia, some of that is apparently healthy if you're an activist of sorts? (There are manuals online..)
Most people are good, I've been told about 30% will come aboard any well-done eco schemes immediately, another 30% need to be convinced with awareness-raising campaigns, about 30% need a system with financial rewards/penalties.. A lot is being done, still more people are needed everywhere and you are very welcome to join in wherever you can!!

My family and I make monthly donations to UNHCR, and I try to be involved with a palm oil awareness group, I am passionate about it and inform everyone I know about the facts and rant and rave on fb constantly about it, but tbh my SA inhibits me from being as active as I would like to be in the community with it, and this does stress me out too. I've managed to pin one poster up about it at my local shopping center and that's it. I have a load of stickers and posters here to bombard the streets with but have not yet had the courage to do it. When I am being more active in these things, it definitely does help - as long as I am getting positive responses. When all I get is nonchalance that's when I start to see people so negatively again.

The news is definitely a problem, but I so hate to be uninformed of what's going on. I watched the news this morning and hated everyone on it, and I just found myself getting angrier and angrier, then my hubby started to get angry at the news as well, and this made me smile . I suppose one of my biggest problems is I feel so many people just don't care, and this bothers me.

 

[Lost Girl]

That is an interesting question about the whole chicken and egg thing. I think that for me, these kinds of feelings are a defense mechanism of sorts. I already have the whole SA thing going on, and I have been hurt by a couple of people that I trusted recently, so painting everybody as being bad or untrustworthy lets me justify to myself why I continue to avoid people.

This is definitely something to question and think about.

Just my two cents here: I agree with you 100% on how corrupt people are

The hypocrisy... its ok for a group of African-American girls at the transit center to give me **** because I glanced at them once, calling me cracker b*tch and whatever the hell they were squawkin about, but if I called them the n word *which I wouldn't but just hypothetically* I'd be labeled a racist and probably get the sh*t kicked out of me (and probably be told I brought it on myself or some crap).

I remember back in 5th grade, we did a family history. Well, my great grandfather was a Nazi nurse. When people found out, oh Lord in Heaven, I was treated like a pariah. Its not my fault a branch of my family is from Hesse and fought in the war!

People are just... disgusting sometimes...

Why can't we all just get along?

I know. Racism either makes me laugh my a** off or get mad as hell. The whole concept is ridonculous. We're all humanoids and we're all just as good/bad as each other, but us humans just love to separate, feel superior, and destroy. It's pathetic.

Yeah Don't hate it, date it!!!!!!!! LOL j/k I know what u mean......

:: the entire human race? hmm...

Seriously, the easiest thing you can do right now is to quit the news addiction! It's a horribly unbalanced view of life. I haven't watched the news in about a year, and I don't miss it one bit. And guess what? I still hear about the important stories, and even the annoying ones, from someone sooner or later lol.

Argh I know you're right, all that is portrayed is the negative and now I've conditioned myself to think that way!




New plan:

- Will stop myself when thoughts or sentences start with 'I hate...' or anything just as negative.

-Will stop wishing I could leave the planet - it's just not happening.

-When I see or hear something positive, I will try to hold on to that for as long as I can. I will also try to be more open to seeing positive things in everyday life


Let's see if this works, eh?

 

[Lea]

I have sometimes feelings like that, but not all the time. Sometimes the best thing is go to sleep if it gets too much .