ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
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I Just Don't Care
- Thread starter ImNotMyIllness
- Start date
mikebird
Banned
My regular weightlifting and running is my main source of a reason to keep going, and I have to increase everything by the most margin I can manage. This means shedding more weight synchronously, with the ultimate ability to lift my own body using arm muscles. Just a few more to go in the stack. Hoping to get there in 2013. From 8 to zero
hardy
Well-known member
hii,
if it helps you in anyway..i am feeling the same. plz hang on there...there will be good times. I feel this is the time for self-introspection....others things can wait. hobbies, jobs can wait a little....learn how the mind works. develop a strong mind by practising meditation.
we have to take the pain..there is no easy way out man...but atleast learn something while taking the blows. i know this is easier said, but plz start doing positive things bit by bit, day by day. learn to accept pain, be mindful of pain, learn to ignore thoughts...there is so much to learn when anxiety/other problems strike.
love
harsha
if it helps you in anyway..i am feeling the same. plz hang on there...there will be good times. I feel this is the time for self-introspection....others things can wait. hobbies, jobs can wait a little....learn how the mind works. develop a strong mind by practising meditation.
we have to take the pain..there is no easy way out man...but atleast learn something while taking the blows. i know this is easier said, but plz start doing positive things bit by bit, day by day. learn to accept pain, be mindful of pain, learn to ignore thoughts...there is so much to learn when anxiety/other problems strike.
love
harsha
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
Thanks Harsha! Wise words. I really appreciate it.
My mind feels like a bunch of garbage blowing in the wind. I need to sign up for a meditation class. I've been wanting to do that for a while.
Lamb
Well-known member
^ How very poetic of you. Meditation is eviiil.
Just kidding, hopped on that boat as of recent. It's a chore alright.
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
This is going to sound stupid and I'm sure most of you will disagree. But, I think I also need a romantic interest. I'm a man and it's BEEN A WHILE since I've dated because I gave up on myself.
Dating would force me to take care of myself, dress nicely etc....The only problem is that no woman is going to date a grown man who is unemployed living at home.
I'm so ashamed and insecure about this. I hate myself for it.........Sorry, if I insulted anyone in the same situation as I know many of you are.
Dating would force me to take care of myself, dress nicely etc....The only problem is that no woman is going to date a grown man who is unemployed living at home.
I'm so ashamed and insecure about this. I hate myself for it.........Sorry, if I insulted anyone in the same situation as I know many of you are.
IntheLabyrinth
Well-known member
This is going to sound stupid and I'm sure most of you will disagree. But, I think I also need a romantic interest. I'm a man and it's BEEN A WHILE since I've dated because I gave up on myself.
Dating would force me to take care of myself, dress nicely etc....The only problem is that no woman is going to date a grown man who is unemployed living at home.
I'm so ashamed and insecure about this. I hate myself for it.........Sorry, if I insulted anyone in the same situation as I know many of you are.
I feel the same way, but I have a **** job instead of being unemployed (not much difference) and I live at home. So embarrassing. I absolutely hate thinking about people asking me about myself because of it. I believe we'll find an answer soon enough. Well, at least I have to keep on telling myself that.
After reading your garbage statement, I can't stop thinking of that stupid scene from american beauty where the bag is floating around. Great music during that scene though.
IntheLabyrinth
Well-known member
I find that I can do what you've mentioned for a couple of days, and they I revert back to the mindless zombie that just distracts himself with tv, books, etc...
How have you managed to succeed? I need some help!
neardeath
Well-known member
I just went to a partial hospitalization program for 3 weeks and somehow I became willing to attack the obvious things that cause the most anxiety. I have a list and I plan to stick to it. I have been to a gym class 9 times in the last 2 weeks, and today I scored an apartment downtown Duluth with a view of the shipping lanes and the biggest sandbar in the world. A dream come true. The people at the APH helped me so much. I recommend it for anyone who is stuck. I still cried 2 hours this morning so things are not great, but no one else is gonna fix me, so I am going to stick to the calendar I made and address each of my biggest anxiety situations to the best of my ability. Wow I am kinda manic from the apartment gig and all, but if there is a way to get at least part of my life back I am going to do it. (I get to the gym class just as it starts and walk out when it ends. I don't even have to talk to anyone.) Hang in there. I just feel like a prayer was answered as I just applied for this apartment 2 weeks ago and here I am moving. It will jumpstart my sense of adventure to live there. Truly a life-long dream.
I have a lot of respect you for you, your posts are always inspirational and pro active.
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
That sounds great! Congratulations! I'm in need of a lucky break.............need one soon!
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
I saw a profile of a very beautiful girl on a dating website. Her interests and personality match mine very well. But, I'm too shy to message her. I don't even have an account and I won't post a picture.
.........I think getting rejected would be too much for me. Right now I have the delusion that things could get better. Same reason why I haven't applied to my dream job.
.........I think getting rejected would be too much for me. Right now I have the delusion that things could get better. Same reason why I haven't applied to my dream job.
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
My fragile miserable world is being propped up on the dream of finding someone and landing my dream job.
If both don't turn out then I probably would not be able to hang on.............
I'm too scared to find out. I don't want to open those doors. There may be nothing behind them.
If both don't turn out then I probably would not be able to hang on.............
I'm too scared to find out. I don't want to open those doors. There may be nothing behind them.
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
As soon as I have the energy, I am going to open the doors. F' it. Sooner I end this charade the better. Maybe I'll get lucky. I'll be better off either way.
SilentAndShy
Well-known member
I feel the same way man.
I've applied for a job that I'd love that would seriously take me out of my comfort zone and it's going to be in high demand. But the least you can do is submit an application with positivity, achievements and hopes and see where it takes you. Who knows, when you get that dream job you might find it inspiring to work hard to hold onto it and make sure that you do hang on.
lyricalliaisons
Well-known member
It sounds as if you are suffering from severe depression. Depression causes that sort of thing.
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
I do. I need to get out of it one way or another.
Richey
Well-known member
This is going to sound stupid and I'm sure most of you will disagree. But, I think I also need a romantic interest. I'm a man and it's BEEN A WHILE since I've dated because I gave up on myself.
Dating would force me to take care of myself, dress nicely etc....The only problem is that no woman is going to date a grown man who is unemployed living at home.
I'm so ashamed and insecure about this. I hate myself for it.........Sorry, if I insulted anyone in the same situation as I know many of you are.
Yes that is true in some sense. But remember that there are alot of people out there like you, in this situation. And it is just a world that you are in at the moment that can always change. It's like the garden metaphor. Our gardens are what we plant there, there are weeds that don't help us, but you have to know what you want to plant in the garden and then you can get to work on it.
Remember that there will be women that will like you for you and won't be too hung up on the external things such as your posessions, your job. Having inner zen is very attractive to some people instead of status.
Remember that you don't have to be your past or an idea of yourself in the current moments.
Be your own friend. Create your own personal trainer that stands just outside of your consciousness and talks to you.
don't become or yield to the external situation of the "unwanted situations". your inner self is far more important and will direct you.
hexagon_sun
Well-known member
Maybe you know this alreadt but, make sure you take in enough protein immediately after a weighlifting work-out. It will ensure your efforts weren't in vain and will reduce soreness. 120g a day minimum if you want to bulk-up. 86g for general excercise and 53g if your planted infront of the computer like I have been past couple of weeks. :thumbdown:
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
Thanks SilentandShy, Zarathustra and Richey for the good advice.