I have to stop being weird

selon

selon

Well-known member
..around people who like me! Last night a friend of mine hosted a party. I knew most of the other guests and was actually really happy to see them. And they were happy to see me, but once they told me that I got really ackward. One guy told me that he thought I was "awesome" from the first minute he met me, we just clicked. A girlfriend said she was really happy we met cause she doesnt like the other girls in our course. Another guy told me I looked pretty. I hadnt seen them since before christmas so I was really looking forward to it.. but once they complimented me, I started feeling weird, made ridiculous jokes and I could tell that they didn't quite get what was wrong and why I acted so strange. :kickingmyself::kickingmyself:

I hate myself for being such an idiot :crying: Instead of having a great night out I just wanted to :crying:
 
PGT

PGT

Well-known member
Lots of people seemed happy you came so you must be doing something right other wise they wouldn't want you there.
 
selon

selon

Well-known member
PGT said:
Lots of people seemed happy you came so you must be doing something right other wise they wouldn't want you there.
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Yeah that's what makes me feel so stupid for spoiling it :kickingmyself:
 
L

laure15

Well-known member
I do this too. Just when I thought I finally have control of the social situation, I started saying weird things. I stumble on my words, stutter, repeat myself, even say things that don't make much sense. The other person must have thought I'm weird.
 
B

Bobloblaw

New member
selon said:
Nah I could tell that they thought I was strange by the way they looked at me and the glances they exchanged. :sad:
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How could you tell they were thinking negatively? Are you a mind reader? Why don't you look objectively at the situation as if you were another person in the room:

A bunch of people tell a girl they are happy to see her and happy they met her and that she looks pretty. That doesn't sound like they thought you were strange at all.

And what makes you think they were exchanging glances about you? It could've been about anything or anyone. Most of this seems to be coming from you; try to challenge those negatives thoughts next time
 
U

Unverstellt

Member
ugh i know how that feels..... once someone says something nice and complimenting the expectations just seem SOOO high all of the suddon and i start acting ridiculous. you feel like you have to be extra funny and entertaining to live up to them and then everything goes down hill from there. it sucks!!
 
catrin87

catrin87

Member
I think it can be easy to convince yourself that you are being weird when you pay such close attention to your own actions all the time (speaking from experience). Lots of people say silly things or get their words muddled all the time but most of the time people don't even notice! Or it can easily be laughed off and forgotten about. If they think you're awesome, which they clearly do, then a couple of silly jokes isn't going to switch their opinion around. If you think they were exchanging glances or talking about you then its highly likely that you are imagining this as a result of your insecurities about your behaviour. I often think exactly the same as you when I'm in group situations but when I start to focus on other peoples behaviour instead of my own, I realise everyone says or does stupid things sometimes, and it's fine. we're all human!
 
selon

selon

Well-known member
catrin87 said:
I think it can be easy to convince yourself that you are being weird when you pay such close attention to your own actions all the time (speaking from experience). Lots of people say silly things or get their words muddled all the time but most of the time people don't even notice! Or it can easily be laughed off and forgotten about. If they think you're awesome, which they clearly do, then a couple of silly jokes isn't going to switch their opinion around. If you think they were exchanging glances or talking about you then its highly likely that you are imagining this as a result of your insecurities about your behaviour. I often think exactly the same as you when I'm in group situations but when I start to focus on other peoples behaviour instead of my own, I realise everyone says or does stupid things sometimes, and it's fine. we're all human!
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You're probably right.. I have to stop overanalyzing every little thing I do and how people react to it. It makes me feel so bad that I could just :kickingmyself: Old habits are difficult to break though 0_o
 
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laure15

Well-known member
^I overanalyze every little thing that I do but strangely enough, I am usually oblivious to other people's flaws. If they mess up, I don't notice it. But if I'm the one messing up, it feels like a really big deal to me.
 
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BlueWeepingRose

Well-known member
Well from you said, they were happy to see you. Which is a good thing, compliments can weird anyone out though. I'm pretty humble myself and hate whenever I get them from people. Don't worry, you're not the only one who feels this way. One thing I hate is parties, I hate crowds and being the center of attention.

Are you afraid of crowded areas?
 
selon

selon

Well-known member
Shy_Dreamer83 said:
Well from you said, they were happy to see you. Which is a good thing, compliments can weird anyone out though. I'm pretty humble myself and hate whenever I get them from people. Don't worry, you're not the only one who feels this way. One thing I hate is parties, I hate crowds and being the center of attention.

Are you afraid of crowded areas?
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I don't mind crowds and I do even like parties, but I can't stand being the center of attention. I blush just thinking about it. Usually, if I have someone to talk to at a party I'm cool, but when I feel like people talk about me (although I guess that's just happening in my head most of the time) I get really nervous. :kickingmyself:
 
S

shyguy8513

Member
hi all, i do ****yze myself all the time, this come from trying so hard to over-come my shyness & sa but the more i try the hard i fail, the target here is by reducing the self behavior ****yzing & go on, the more that you can achieve in helping yourself getting over it
sometimes i realise later that what i said offended the one that was talking to, but as my focus is all the time distracted due to self ****yzing, blaming myself for saying a stupid or hurtfull before, sa.
in the past i got offended because of my social phobia symptoms such as blushing, sweats & so on that's why from 16 old till now (28) i autamically repel everyone trying to get closer to me specially girls
anyway try to practice more & let go, people forget what you said after a while, you can make it up but trying to say some compliments & relaxing yourself before having a conversation
 
sahxox

sahxox

Well-known member
catrin87 said:
I think it can be easy to convince yourself that you are being weird when you pay such close attention to your own actions all the time (speaking from experience). Lots of people say silly things or get their words muddled all the time but most of the time people don't even notice! Or it can easily be laughed off and forgotten about. If they think you're awesome, which they clearly do, then a couple of silly jokes isn't going to switch their opinion around. If you think they were exchanging glances or talking about you then its highly likely that you are imagining this as a result of your insecurities about your behaviour. I often think exactly the same as you when I'm in group situations but when I start to focus on other peoples behaviour instead of my own, I realise everyone says or does stupid things sometimes, and it's fine. we're all human!
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My life story exactly. Prime example was the other day, I was really insecure at home and I thought my Dad was reacting strangely to me. Told him about it later, he didn't even notice.
 
sahxox

sahxox

Well-known member
Unverstellt said:
ugh i know how that feels..... once someone says something nice and complimenting the expectations just seem SOOO high all of the suddon and i start acting ridiculous. you feel like you have to be extra funny and entertaining to live up to them and then everything goes down hill from there. it sucks!!
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Yeah! It feels like you've been put on a pedestal and everyone is ****ysing your behaviour.
 
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