I hate people

K

Kenn

Member
Hey everyone,
I'd like to ask you for suggestions about my situation.

Okay, so I'll open with the fact that I just hate how people are behaving (as the title suggests), and it's not specific people, it's like most of them.

For some reason, I just can't tolerate unreasonable and ignorant behavior. and oh, how it leads me to conflicts with myself ::(:. let me explain:

1) When somebody says something I find irrelevant or just a little bit (and I mean little bit) ignorant or foolish, I just "disqualify" him automatically, and don't want anything to do with him. just hate him so much.
And it happens ALL THE TIME, why? because people are generally loose. which leads to the next issue:
2) I'm never loose, I always keep my guard "up".

About the cause of this behavior: (this is an assumption, which I believe is correct)
A couple of years ago, I wasn't like that at all. I was extremely loose, always kidding, made people laugh and whatnot, and people actually came mentioning to me how fun I am to be around and that they want my company.
Then at that time, I was joking around with friends and one of them took the opportunity when my guard was down, and said a couple of words... (he didn't actually swear, but made me feel uncomfortable). since then I stopped being loose, and was always on guard, and started hating people for foolish/irrelevant behavior.

What do you think I should do about it?
How can I be loose and make sure I'm not acting like some idiot for some people with that type of perspective? (and getting hurt and offended again).

Thank you for reading.
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
I can´t so well imagine what you mean, do you think you could give some examples of what for example makes you angry? (sorry if I´m thick it´s just me)
 
Daniel089

Daniel089

Well-known member
Kenn said:
Hey everyone,
I'd like to ask you for suggestions about my situation.

Okay, so I'll open with the fact that I just hate how people are behaving (as the title suggests), and it's not specific people, it's like most of them.

For some reason, I just can't tolerate unreasonable and ignorant behavior. and oh, how it leads me to conflicts with myself ::(:. let me explain:

1) When somebody says something I find irrelevant or just a little bit (and I mean little bit) ignorant or foolish, I just "disqualify" him automatically, and don't want anything to do with him. just hate him so much.
And it happens ALL THE TIME, why? because people are generally loose. which leads to the next issue:
2) I'm never loose, I always keep my guard "up".

About the cause of this behavior: (this is an assumption, which I believe is correct)
A couple of years ago, I wasn't like that at all. I was extremely loose, always kidding, made people laugh and whatnot, and people actually came mentioning to me how fun I am to be around and that they want my company.
Then at that time, I was joking around with friends and one of them took the opportunity when my guard was down, and said a couple of words... (he didn't actually swear, but made me feel uncomfortable). since then I stopped being loose, and was always on guard, and started hating people for foolish/irrelevant behavior.

What do you think I should do about it?
How can I be loose and make sure I'm not acting like some idiot for some people with that type of perspective? (and getting hurt and offended again).

Thank you for reading.
Click to expand...

Hi!

I think it isn't a bad idea, if you start arguing with people you don't agree with, since you do have own thoughts, ideas about things, you should tell your opinion to them, nobody in the world is on the same track if you know what I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. And anyway I think you should discuss this problem with your friends too, they'll be able to help you...
 
gustavofring

gustavofring

Well-known member
I know what you mean, OP. I exactly know what you mean.

Like if someone has been arrogant in some form, or has displayed ignorant or foolish behavior or ignorance, I start hating/avoiding them.

I too have gone from an outgoing, experimental, playful person who still has a will to go out there to fight for his piece of the cake, to an avoidant introvert who has a lot of inner resistance. I think it's the direct reaction to hurt. You want to shut yourself off from hurt. Especially since I moved in with a lot of roommates I noticed this.

I suggest you learn about mindfulness, Eckhart Tolle, present moment awareness, meditation, etc. It took me a long while to grasp them, but it's slowly helping me become more tolerant and open, accepting what arises, instead of creating inner resistance.
 
mikebird

mikebird

Banned
My situ is different. Not sure which one I prefer.

If people wind you up, I might be better off with no contact.

I have plenty of old friends, but we never meet. I don't not use 'the telephone'

Last time I met anyone was during 4 months in hospital.

A different time for visits was a year in jail, long ago. I girlfriend who really did wait for me! Since emerging my life, my social life was at a peak that year ago, and did not dwindle at all afterwards. '96. Best times.

No company since the millennium

Nobody to hate. No reason to celebrate :confused:
 
C

Clown

Well-known member
Same with me, the problem is you are to nice and give bad people to much chances to **** with your mind, now you already got the problem its hard to get out, but my advice would be leave them or get those weak points of them and hurt back....alot has to do with poor self image of those ignorant without the anxiety , they see that you are funny and everyone wants to hang out with you and there is always one guy who feels left behind and say hurtfull things to cope with his poor self why he isn't funny, I used to be like you
 
MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
I often wonder do I "fear" people as the title Social Phobia suggests or do I just really dislike humans which is more the case for me. I have met a few I like, Thank God otherwise I would be dead by now. I usually like people who are like me in that regard and they are hard to meet because they are hermits. :) I could charm anyone if I wanted... I just don't want to, I just don't care to.
 
S

Silatuyok

Well-known member
It sounds to me like perhaps it's not the actual people who are the problem, but rather some form of anxiety is causing you to react badly toward things you would otherwise brush off or let slide. I used to think I was a horribly impatient, irritable, and intolerant person, until I realized that it was the generalized anxiety causing me to be this way, and that I was actually a much nicer person beneath it all. If you think this might be true for you, I would suggest looking into ways to get your anxiety under control. Simply recognizing the triggers is a good start. If you think therapy or meds would help that could be a good option as well. For me I stopped consuming caffeine and that has helped tremendously. I hope you feel better soon. People really aren't all that bad if you don't take them too seriously.
 
Darkness_'82

Darkness_'82

Well-known member
I hate every bastard as well. But then I meet someone who's nice/polite towards me and I think: Hey, some people aren't so bad after all.
 
C

crazypants

Well-known member
Absolutely_Sweet_Marie said:
It sounds to me like perhaps it's not the actual people who are the problem, but rather some form of anxiety is causing you to react badly toward things you would otherwise brush off or let slide. I used to think I was a horribly impatient, irritable, and intolerant person, until I realized that it was the generalized anxiety causing me to be this way, and that I was actually a much nicer person beneath it all. If you think this might be true for you, I would suggest looking into ways to get your anxiety under control. Simply recognizing the triggers is a good start. If you think therapy or meds would help that could be a good option as well. For me I stopped consuming caffeine and that has helped tremendously. I hope you feel better soon. People really aren't all that bad if you don't take them too seriously.
Click to expand...

I know just what you mean. I am generally a pretty nice person, but get me in a stressful situation where my anxiety gets sky high and my demeaner changes.

Being in stores is a big trigger for me. The stores are always way too hot and too big. I just want a couple of things, but they are on opposite sides of this gigantic store so I feel like I've walked miles before I even get to the cash register. I just want to get in and out as quickly as possible, but it never happens. So by the time I've made it to the check out, I'm sweating and my back hurts and I'm ready to snap. That's the point where I hate anyone and everyone who comes into my path.

I hate everyone in the line who has too many coupons, or writing a check, or just being SLOW! I hate your screaming kid and the fact that you're pretending not to hear it. I hate the cashier for chatting with the customers and making things go even SLOWER! I hate the store owner for having it SO HOT in here! Why does everyone suck so much!??!! I just want to SCREAM!!!

Maybe I should lay off the coffee too. :)
 
Waybuloo

Waybuloo

Well-known member
I am like you too, have a low tolerance of peoples behaviours and attitudes. Maybe you've developed a high standard, or you hate the traits expressed by other people but which are reminders of what you are.
 
A

AGR

Well-known member
I hate the way people reward and like bad people,as I said before making mistakes is one thing but being truly bad is another,but some people just love them.
 
JuiceB

JuiceB

Well-known member
crazypants said:
I know just what you mean. I am generally a pretty nice person, but get me in a stressful situation where my anxiety gets sky high and my demeaner changes.

Being in stores is a big trigger for me. The stores are always way too hot and too big. I just want a couple of things, but they are on opposite sides of this gigantic store so I feel like I've walked miles before I even get to the cash register. I just want to get in and out as quickly as possible, but it never happens. So by the time I've made it to the check out, I'm sweating and my back hurts and I'm ready to snap. That's the point where I hate anyone and everyone who comes into my path.

I hate everyone in the line who has too many coupons, or writing a check, or just being SLOW! I hate your screaming kid and the fact that you're pretending not to hear it. I hate the cashier for chatting with the customers and making things go even SLOWER! I hate the store owner for having it SO HOT in here! Why does everyone suck so much!??!! I just want to SCREAM!!!

Maybe I should lay off the coffee too. :)
Click to expand...
You just described me perfectly.
 
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