I forced myself out of my comfort zone... and it was great! :)

[SmileMore]

Yesterday I went with my dad, step-mother and half sister to visit my auntie. It was a huge deal for me because I hadn't seen my dad, step-mum and sisters for 3 years (parents are divorced). Only one of my sisters went because, according to my dad, she's extremely self conscious, can't use the phone etc Basically it sounds like she has SA like me. My other sister went but she's also extremely quiet so it must be an inherited thing. It made me feel like I wasn't so alone and less of a freak. My dad said he had it too when he was younger.

So, when we got to my auntie's house I was really nervous because I hadn't seen her for over 10 years, plus one of my cousin's I'd never met. When I saw them I think I hasn't it pretty well. They all hugged me (hate hugging people), I asked how they were etc Then my grand parents turned it as well so there were over 10 people there all making a big deal but I didn't freak out.

They took a few photos of me with my nan etc and I just grinned and bared it. We all sat round the table and had a meal together. I actually ate in front of them, which is a big deal for me because I don't like eating in front of people. I ate a lasagna!

So, all in all I really would advice people to just get out there and do what you're afraid of because it's never as bad as you think it will be.

Your thoughts?

 

[hidwell]

Good for you, sounds like you overcame some of your fears. But in reality just because things went well this time it doesn't automatically mean all other social gatherings will turn out as well as that one. Just saying that each time is different, and depending on our moods the way we interact and handle ourselves can differ from day to day.

 

[Starry]

Well done!

 

[SmileMore]

Good for you, sounds like you overcame some of your fears. But in reality just because things went well this time it doesn't automatically mean all other social gatherings will turn out as well as that one. Just saying that each time is different, and depending on our moods the way we interact and handle ourselves can differ from day to day.

That's true. However, just by going out there and trying, in my opinion, you're more likely to get better at socializing and taking risks.

 

[THeCARS1979]

Yesterday I went with my dad, step-mother and half sister to visit my auntie. It was a huge deal for me because I hadn't seen my dad, step-mum and sisters for 3 years (parents are divorced). Only one of my sisters went because, according to my dad, she's extremely self conscious, can't use the phone etc Basically it sounds like she has SA like me. My other sister went but she's also extremely quiet so it must be an inherited thing. It made me feel like I wasn't so alone and less of a freak. My dad said he had it too when he was younger.

So, when we got to my auntie's house I was really nervous because I hadn't seen her for over 10 years, plus one of my cousin's I'd never met. When I saw them I think I hasn't it pretty well. They all hugged me (hate hugging people), I asked how they were etc Then my grand parents turned it as well so there were over 10 people there all making a big deal but I didn't freak out.

They took a few photos of me with my nan etc and I just grinned and bared it. We all sat round the table and had a meal together. I actually ate in front of them, which is a big deal for me because I don't like eating in front of people. I ate a lasagna!

So, all in all I really would advice people to just get out there and do what you're afraid of because it's never as bad as you think it will be.

Your thoughts?

Im glad you did well i read that you were going to do that I was going to tell you to go cause it sounded like a family reunion. I think Social Anxiety can be passed down. I want to say some of my relatives had it and other issues too. I have trouble going out of comfort zone with women . And no its never as bad but no its never as good either with that issue

 

[twiggle]

Well done, SmileMore - I could tell how anxious you were about this from the posts you made prior to going, so I'm really glad that it all went well.

I think you're exactly right, in order to not be as scared of things, we just have to do them. Hidwell is right also - it won't always go to plan - but the more often you try something, the more likely you are of succeeding, and whilst making all these attempts you will, at the same time, be overcoming your fear because that fear won't be stopping you anymore.

Thanks for bringing your encouraging news to the forum

 

[coyote]

good for you, SmileMore =^]

the more we do anything, the better we get at it

and even if things go wrong or we make mistakes, we learn from that, too

at the very least, we learn that the bad experiences aren't the end of the world

and that might actually help us even more than the the good ones

 

[JuiceB]

SmileMore thats great. I feel ashamed that my cousin stopped by my house last night (along with my sister) and I was to afraid to come outside snd show myself before she left.

 

[SmileMore]

SmileMore thats great. I feel ashamed that my cousin stopped by my house last night (along with my sister) and I was to afraid to come outside snd show myself before she left.

Don't feel ashamed. I've done the same thing many times.

 

[Bustn Justin]

Glad you were able to do it!

 

[A Many Splendored Thing]

Your family sounds loving and friendly. There doesn't seem to be anything to worry about, but I know what it's like.

One step at a time, nice job facing your fear this time.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Exposure therapy is almost never a bad idea. (and I only say almost so I don't feel like such a pansy for refusing to leave my room most of the time. haha)

 

[Joan6466]

I'm so glad for you! As a good scientist of yourself, what do you think supported your doing this? For example, I've learned- in trying to increase exercising- never go home first, and think I'm going to talk myself into leaving the house! I've learned certain times of the day I do better at getting to exercise classes than other times. It's called environmental controls. I've learned I don't exercise well on my own.
At the end of an event- I like what you're doing- praising yourself! It reinforces the effort. I see you asked how they were doing- you used some social skills- you smiled- sometimes a larger gathering can make it a little easier- the conversation is disbursed among others.
This approach also works when things didn't go that well. You always honor what you managed to do, and then prepare for the next time around at what you want to improve- you can practice that after the event is over- because the physiological arousal has calmed down. That's where you can rehearse a healthier response to something that didn't go so well. Social anxiety can be unlearned- that's what's so wonderful!

 

[Srijita52]

I agree with you SmileMore, the first step of getting better is pushing ourselves of our comfort zone and facing our fear. I understand its very hard though. Well done.

 

[bcsr]

Yesterday I went with my dad, step-mother and half sister to visit my auntie. It was a huge deal for me because I hadn't seen my dad, step-mum and sisters for 3 years (parents are divorced). Only one of my sisters went because, according to my dad, she's extremely self conscious, can't use the phone etc Basically it sounds like she has SA like me. My other sister went but she's also extremely quiet so it must be an inherited thing. It made me feel like I wasn't so alone and less of a freak. My dad said he had it too when he was younger.

So, when we got to my auntie's house I was really nervous because I hadn't seen her for over 10 years, plus one of my cousin's I'd never met. When I saw them I think I hasn't it pretty well. They all hugged me (hate hugging people), I asked how they were etc Then my grand parents turned it as well so there were over 10 people there all making a big deal but I didn't freak out.

They took a few photos of me with my nan etc and I just grinned and bared it. We all sat round the table and had a meal together. I actually ate in front of them, which is a big deal for me because I don't like eating in front of people. I ate a lasagna!

So, all in all I really would advice people to just get out there and do what you're afraid of because it's never as bad as you think it will be.

Your thoughts?

Congrats! That's the only way to beat anxiety, you just have to "grin and bare it".

 

[SmileMore]

I'm so glad for you! As a good scientist of yourself, what do you think supported your doing this? For example, I've learned- in trying to increase exercising- never go home first, and think I'm going to talk myself into leaving the house! I've learned certain times of the day I do better at getting to exercise classes than other times. It's called environmental controls. I've learned I don't exercise well on my own.
At the end of an event- I like what you're doing- praising yourself! It reinforces the effort. I see you asked how they were doing- you used some social skills- you smiled- sometimes a larger gathering can make it a little easier- the conversation is disbursed among others.
This approach also works when things didn't go that well. You always honor what you managed to do, and then prepare for the next time around at what you want to improve- you can practice that after the event is over- because the physiological arousal has calmed down. That's where you can rehearse a healthier response to something that didn't go so well. Social anxiety can be unlearned- that's what's so wonderful!

I'm not sure how I did it to be honest. I just feel like I've missed out on so much due to fear and that if I didn't at least try I'd never get anywhere. It was hard but I'm glad that I've done it and proven to myself i'm braver than I thought.

 

[mismeek]

Congrats! keep up the good work!

 

[martin92]

Most, not all but most of the times i do what you suggest, it goes exactly as bad as i immagine it to and i regret going in the first place. I guess this world just aint for me.

 

[SmileMore]

Most, not all but most of the times i do what you suggest, it goes exactly as bad as i immagine it to and i regret going in the first place. I guess this world just aint for me.

Maybe you need to try it with a more positive attitude? Maybe things didn't go as badly as you thought and you're just overly critical of yourself?

 

[psych]

Congratulations, SmileMore!
I have been making it a point this year to spend more time with family and friends. Just returned from a successful camping trip out of state.
Never would've even attempted it a few years ago...
Am glad I did. It's nice to be able to come on here and see others doing the same.
I hope you'll have more good experiences to come!