I can't do anything that matters...

[destructoroflife]

Another night just talking to myself about what I'm going to do with me and my future.

I can't seem to force myself to do anything, whatever it is.

People tell me to go take some classes, even if it's not a college course. What's the point?

My perspective is that everything is a joke. Why should I waste the few energy I have getting a degree just to survive?

Why can't I do something if it matters, my life is at risk, my life depends on me getting a job that will feed me.

The risks are just too high to give a damn. I just want to live, without worries.

I've been thinking the possibility of me getting cancer. I think I'd just wait to die, slowly, it'd be such a relief. Because, what's the point if I'm not gonna do nothing for myself or the "world"?

I lack it. What? I don't know, will power, motivation, the ability to be motivated?


And tomorrow I'm supossed to go talk with my "head doctor". Another day trying to save my life by "changing my perspective", yay!

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Life without worries does not exist-for anyone! You don't have any interests or passions? ......If you haven't discovered what you like in life then it will be hard to be motivated.

 

[Lonely_Writer]

Ah, the deeper questions. What's the point in all of this anyway? That's the true beauty of being human. You can can ask these deeper questions.

You should be proud of yourself for being able to ask the big questions. A lot of people will drift through life without ever thinking about. You make a big difference just by doing that.

 

[Agent_Violet]

I've come to the conclusion that there really is NO point to any of this.Which is the most freeing thought ever.

You have a choice to do whatever you want depending on how you want your time alive to play out.You can be good.You can be bad.You can be giving.You can be selfish. You can be ALL those things at one point or another.

What you do only truly matters to you and the people who love you.What you do with that freedom and power is your choice.

 

[spider04]

I've been thinking the possibility of me getting cancer. I think I'd just wait to die, slowly, it'd be such a relief. Because, what's the point if I'm not gonna do nothing for myself or the "world"?

Sometimes i think if I get cancer and die it would a much more interesting experience to go through than my whole life.

 

[Agent_Violet]

I'm sorry but it's appalling that you guys think getting cancer and dying would be interesting.

Have you ever been close to someone who is dying of cancer??? Talk to those people and see what they have to say about your fantasy of getting cancer and dying slowly.

Unreal.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I'm sorry but it's appalling that you guys think getting cancer and dying would be interesting.

Have you ever been close to someone who is dying of cancer??? Talk to those people and see what they have to say about your fantasy of getting cancer and dying slowly.

Unreal.

I've seen this sort of fantasy about getting cancer before a few times here.

I suspect it's a combination of staggering ignorance and the fact that people tend to have a lot of sympathy for cancer victims.

 

[laure15]

People tell me to go take some classes, even if it's not a college course. What's the point?

First of all, don't enroll in college just because people tell you to. Find your passion, something that you can imagine yourself doing and enjoying as a career. Then enroll in college if necessary. For instance, if you'd like to be an engineer, a college degree is usually required vs if you want to be a plumber, you don't need college education.

To get started, go to your local library and check out some books. See what you would like to learn about.

 

[anomicdeer]

I've felt this same exact way. Even the cancer part. Not seems to ever work out good or stay good. I'm dead... what is there anymore?

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Not seems to ever work out good or stay good. I'm dead... what is there anymore?

:sad: I have dreams and passions. But, sometimes I think I'm too fragile for life even though I have endured so much.

 

[AdamE]

Regarding the cancer bit: please don't judge people too harshly. I believe it is a fairly common fantasy among people who are tired of life, since it will mean death without any effort on our own part. At least that's what it's like for me. And I used to have a friend who lived through cancer. His mother, on the other hand, did not - she died of skin cancer. The point of this being that I have seen cancer "in action", so to speak, and I know that it's horrible. But, horrible though it may be, it would still mean a way out of life.

 

[Opaline]

Regarding the cancer bit: please don't judge people too harshly. I believe it is a fairly common fantasy among people who are tired of life, since it will mean death without any effort on our own part. At least that's what it's like for me. And I used to have a friend who lived through cancer. His mother, on the other hand, did not - she died of skin cancer. The point of this being that I have seen cancer "in action", so to speak, and I know that it's horrible. But, horrible though it may be, it would still mean a way out of life.

Yeah, I agree with this. It doesn't make it any less morbid, but in the past I too have wished I'd get a terminal illness (not necessarily cancer) so I could be done with life without having to end it myself.

 

[FallenFeathers]

I think people react to the Cancer part strongly because many people have probably had family members or friends die a slow agonizing death to it.

It's hard to wrap your head around someone even fantasizing about Cancer, when you have had to watch someone you care about suffer with it and beg for a quick death because it's that painful

 

[OceanMist]

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all. -Arthur James Balfour

Once we accept that life has very little meaning then we can move on with life and not be as troubled by things such as failures and mistakes.

It helps to think of things this way: Will you really care about all this BS when you are dead? The world is so messed up with all the unfair things, I've just stopped caring about who is better than anyone else and just focused on trying to enjoy my short time on this earth.

It does suck that we have to work just to survive, although the funny thing about the USA is there are loopholes such as food stamps. Here in the great USA, we don't even have to work to put food on the table.

 

[destructoroflife]

The problem in this existencial mess is not the question, but the answer.

There's no meaning at all. How can I even "create my own meaning" knowing this?

Searching my own meaning would be deceiving myself. I don't have that 'gift' that allows me to ignore the truth.


And yes, the cancer part is just a way to die by doing nothing. I don't have the courage to kill myself.

 

[theslowesthand]

Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning. ~ Joseph Campbell

Expanding on that: When we (humans) are born, simply being alive is the meaning of life, just as it is for animals & all other species on earth. But we lose that very early in life (with the development of our conscious, ego mind). After which we choose the meaning that life has. And that's where the problem lies - we are not very good at making decisions; we botch almost everything up.

Again, taking liberties with the above quotation, perhaps it is also saying that life is has no logical meaning, but instead it has an "other" meaning (that can only be experienced to know it). I think i have secretly known this for many years, that the only times that i have felt life had any real meaning, was for me when amidst a storm of creativity, that is the left/ego brain was at a minimum (ie away from logic, towards the "other").